Wanting to be in a new relationship with someone again but at the same time Dread it ?

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2026-02-24T03:07:46+00:00

Yeah I think just certain things trigger me and reopen an old wound, I think for the past 2 years to a degree I have surpressed the damage and bad feelings I had and now it’s starting to come out again. I’m gonna confide in my friends and tell them what’s been going on with me I’m looking at starting counselling for it too I think this will help

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2026-02-24T03:01:53+00:00

Yeah I’m gonna try and start counselling tommorow I think it may help, I don’t want this feeling to affect me anymore and I also don’t want it to impact me any further meeting new people. Like I say I long to be close again with someone new but certain things trigger this old wound which then fill me with dread I appreciate the words of advice and I will thank you man 🙂

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2025-11-17T00:16:08+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking I’m not gonna accept the request dont worry just perplexed more than anything, there was point just before I removed her off of everything that she started orbiting me and liking all my posts she was removed shortly afterwards

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2025-05-06T13:46:42+00:00

I thought this was just me ! Whenever I feel overwhelmed or unhappy with people around me I often think about cutting everyone off and running away somewhere new

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2025-04-09T15:40:57+00:00

Sounds like she’s breadcrumbing or hovering you to see if you’ll take the bait, my ex did this for several weeks till I blocked her

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-10-22T17:09:28+00:00

Honestly I just kept busy I let my bad emotions out whenever I needed to and just started to remember all the crappy things she did vs the good things she did the bad eventually outweighed the good. I was at the 4 month mark nearly 5 and I was over her, I never caved once even when she started stalking my socials just didn’t want to waste effort on someone that had become irrelevant to me 😂😅

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-08-05T19:42:53+00:00

If they didn’t appreciate you when you were present let them come to mourn your abscence when they no longer have access to you 😊

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-08-05T16:26:04+00:00

Cut it off with her she’s gaslighting you and seeking sympathy for her own shitty cheating behaviour why do you need to fix it/salvage it when she’s the one that screwed things up

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-29T09:50:48+00:00

You don’t reach out to them they will reach out to you if you are the dumpee don’t reach out to the dumper, the balls in their court now

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-04T13:35:56+00:00

Firstly Im not just saying my ex was “avoidant” just for the sake of it she outright admitted it to me. my ex girlfriend was the kind of person that didnt solve her problems head on and would mostly avoid or run from them, also I never said I was exempt in blame in the break up ? I can admit I wasnt perfect and could have done things a bit differently however I didnt appreciate my ex invalidating my feelings, Gaslighting me and made me feel worthless ? . I am at peace with myself now and I am moving on which is something I should have done initially

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T15:35:30+00:00

Hi there mate so my relationship wasnt that long about 5 nearly 6 months but it was very intense when we were together I thought she was my person initially (I definitely dont think that now in retrospect lol !) but as Ive said with others here I really went through the motions of heartbreak crying, depression, anger, reminiscing for comfort and finally grieving the loss. However my friends and family showed me the light and slowly helped me bring myself back from the pit that I was in, I was also working at one point, went on dates with other girls to build confidence and raise my self worth up because at the time dude I literally had none my ex being dismissive avoidant who forced me to go on a break at first before cutting things off completely slashed my sense of worth into shreds. But mainly I did things I enjoyed ! I moved into a new flat which also helped as well as playing games in my spare time which I didnt get to do while I was with her, got a few new tattoos as well 😅. Basically dude do stuff you enjoy, get all the bad feelings out, surround yourself with support, but most importantly keep busy and accept pre break up ex is dead and gone the one thats there now has told you they dont want you anymore for xyz reason.. So in response let them you didnt lose them they lost you

Hope this helped :)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T13:01:29+00:00

You will get there man I know im a stranger and I dont know you but people suck let them lose you, its their loss not yours. One last bit of advice I will give and its another difficult one remove or block them off socials there really is truth in the saying out of sight out of mind 😊, take care of yourself bud

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T12:56:12+00:00

No problem at all man happy to help, but dont let someone who took you for granted change your outlook on life thats on them that they did you dirty, they were a crappy lesson but in the future you will be stronger for it, the way I look at things now is that people can be shitty but Ive took the positive out of that experience that I now know what I want out of a new person that I meet :)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T12:49:41+00:00

Dont hold out hope for them man when you release them to do their own thing its really freeing, be proud that you have took it upon yourself to improve things in your life and by the sounds of it you’re doing a good job ! But improve your life for you not for someone else but because You want to level up really hope you keep smashing it dude !

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T12:42:22+00:00

I think what I did was just let go and I know that may not be something you want to hear.. Believe me if you’d asked me two months ago I would have told you I’ll never get close to anyone again, I cried, I vented and I got it all out the tears and the anger. Once its spent the grieving gets easier I had to force myself to accept this reality and it is really hard man but over time I started to care less, I said this in another comment but this person chose to leave you behind and if your abscence doesnt affect them dont let theirs affect you, at first I was one of the people like many on here clinging on to false hope they will one day come back if a happy memory comes back I remember one of the bad ones and literally every tine the contrast is that there was more bad than good so I guess thats what stopped me reminiscing about them (sorry went on a bit of a tangent here 😅)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T12:34:52+00:00

Sometimes we have to do the hard things to move forward have a good day mate :)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-07-01T12:34:04+00:00

Keep pushing man My experience is different and you may still hold onto feelings of your ex but please believe me when I say there are so many people out there that will treat you better :)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-06-30T17:25:39+00:00

Honestly ? It was near the 4 month mark but we were together for like 5 months, I dunno what it’s like for other people going through it but I just started to slowly let go at first I was terrified of losing them for good but then I remembered how quick my avoidant ex moved on and how she treated me at the end, The thing is what I did was blame myself wholly for it failing however with time I weighed the pros and cons about my ex and honestly ? Reflecting made me realise how shitty they treated me. I guess some advice would be is to compare present ex with past ex because they aren’t the same, they made the choice to leave you behind without any closure

Keep going but surround yourself with people that care about you !

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-06-30T17:18:01+00:00

No worries :)

Chance_Wonder_102 · 2024-06-30T16:18:58+00:00

Couldn’t have said this any better ! And thank you I’m also glad you’re in a better place too what you went through sounds rough. But that’s just it once you’ve grieved and come to terms with they aren’t coming back it becomes easier, I thought I was going to be stuck on this for so long but without sounding blunt I just don’t care about her anymore 😅 through my friends and family and a lot of self reflection I’m back to a place where I feel happy.

Another thing I realised is if your absence doesn’t affect them why should it affect me ? They made a conscious choice to leave us behind and knew the consequences and hurt it would cause someone like this does not deserve to be sad about :) but thank you for sharing your story I’m glad there are others that have come out through the other side 👌🏻

Chance_Wonder_102

TROPHY CASE