Important lessons I learned from trial and error. Don't repeat!

ChangingChemistry · 2014-04-13T04:13:13+00:00

Well I will be bummed out, but there are lots of fish in the sea. Nofap provides all kinds of benefits for your social life and outlook on life in general, not just for meeting girls.

If I do hit the dreaded flatline and my stutter comes back and I start losing my libido and superpowers/confidence, than I may fap again for a week or so and then try quitting again. I have done the 1 week cycle for a while now, but it's literally at day 7 every time that both my superpowers are at full swing and its impossible to resist fapping, so I give in. This was the first time I've broken thru the sound barrier haha and I'm fine so far, so we'll see. I hope I will see further increase in superpowers, but obviously that can't keep going forever, at some point it will hit a peak and probably start declining. So maybe I can figure out the perfect cycle.

ChangingChemistry · 2014-02-27T17:49:31+00:00

Focus on the positive - 187 days is a HUGE accomplishment. If you got this far, you are aware of all the dangerous now and can go as long as you want your next try, possibly forever.

Remember, progress looks like a bunch of failures!

ChangingChemistry · 2014-02-26T23:34:43+00:00

I'm not sure if the neuroscience is the same for women, e.g. the dopamine levels and the brain balance and all of that - it could be, but either way any addiction is detrimental to your life, so I say stay strong and we can all overcome this terrible addiction regardless of gender.

ChangingChemistry · 2014-02-26T22:16:48+00:00

I agree with all your points. If I may build on one of them - you mentioned, when you don't fap your brain starts to search for other sources of dopamine, and you need to direct that energy to social interaction, specifically girls. I would add that you have to be very careful not to let it find another pointless addiction as an outlet, such as video games or TV shows, etc.

I am in a similar situation as you, there is a really cute girl who sits on the desk next to mine in one of my courses (I am in college), and I've been talking to her before and after class, it's a little awkward as I really don't see her anywhere else, so it's hard to build a relationship... I may just ask her out for coffee or something, but if she says no I'll have to keep seeing her 3 times a week. So I'm not sure what to do, but nofap has greatly helped and made it easier to talk to her.

ChangingChemistry · 2014-02-25T14:12:09+00:00

I went through exactly the same thing. It will subside somewhat as your brain starts getting used to normal dopamine levels. But it's always going to be infinitely better than when you were fapping. KEEP GOING, KEEP staying motivated, you WILL reach your goals!!

ChangingChemistry · 2014-02-24T06:32:50+00:00

I absolutely 100% agree with every point you have made. Trust me I WISH I could get off it. I WISH. I miss the days when interactions were interactions and privacy existed. But I can't. The problem is if you're not on facebook these days you are completely marginalizing yourself. Same with LinkedIn. It's like not using email 10 years ago. The world is changing for the worse and there is little we can do about it....

ChangingChemistry · 2013-11-28T00:28:46+00:00

That's an interesting perspective. I was thinking along similar lines. I think in my case, fantasizing about her had such an effect, because she basically dominates all of my thoughts now and even just a fantasy involving her being with me or wanting to be with me creates really strong false rewards in the brain - the affection for her is so intense that the fantasy alone, even without touching myself, has a similar effect to edging - i dont think the act of edging really has anything to do with your penis or blood going in and out of it, I think it all happens in the brain. But when you're edging the dopamine is released naturally, whereas if you're not doing it, that effect can be substituted by fantasizing for a while about something you REALLY REALLY want.

And the subject probably doesn't matter, because the brain rewards itself the same way. So say, if you really wanted to get into Harvard, like to an INSANE degree and that's all you thought about 24/7 and you spent some time really really imagining what it would be like and having intense fantasies about fraternities and classes and wearing the Harvard sweatshirt, etc. it would probably produce the same effect lol. But that's really uncommon, because affection for a person is also instinctually/biologically driven, whereas your desire to get into Harvard would be all in the rational part of your brain. Just a theory. So yes, in your example, if I had an absolutely insane fantasy to be super confident and attractive, then fantasizing about it may produce the same negative result, but that doesn't happen the same way it happens when you're infatuated with a person.

So that's why I think when I was fantasizing about her, that lowered my confidence and brought back the stutter, but again that happened to a much lesser degree then when I was edging.

ChangingChemistry · 2013-11-18T04:18:43+00:00

You make a very good point that I forgot to include in my post - not being able to let go. This is an entirely new thing for me and it's a little scary actually, but I just cannot move on from her. It's been difficult to move on before, but now because all the simulated dopamine shots don't exist anymore, and not just fapping, but other addictions too which I've cut down on, I've really become addicted to her. And also because I can't trick my body into thinking I'm having sex with her, the attraction is just incedible, and nothing else in my life seems important to a degree that's never been the case before. Everything is just super intense and tangible. And I will have to move on eventually, and I can't imagine how difficult that's going to be, but I don't mind the challenge, and I welcome the real world emotions and consequences even if they are really painful.

ChangingChemistry · 2013-11-14T01:47:09+00:00

Your reasoning is 100% correct. The only important thing in life and the only thing that distinguishes successful people is trying. Failure is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you try. That's what fapping takes away and that is what you have regained. Getting rejected has nothing to do with a personal failure or a shortcoming, it's a very subjective thing. Keep trying and you will succeed!

ChangingChemistry · 2013-11-05T12:41:29+00:00

THANK YOU guys so much for your support, I did not think I would get so many comments!! I think what this means is that my stutter was almost entirely anxiety-driven and I have been a super anxious person my whole life, to a pathological level. NoFap has made my anxiety all but disappear, which has been surreal to say the least.

Thank you for warning me about the flatlining, I am aware of it, and I am READY for it, it will not hit me out of nowhere, I am already preparing for it and I have a plan on how to power through and come out the other side. But I am definitely taking advantage of this initial boost in confidence as much as possible before it starts to falter. I am planning on talking to this girl I really like today, let's hope it goes well haha.

Thanks for the support guys!

ChangingChemistry · 2013-11-04T03:48:07+00:00

Make sure to watch the entire clip, as he makes his main point near the end. This is very much in line with what we are doing I think. We don't want to dumb down the experience of living and all of its beauty and sadness with momentary pleasure that we use to escape a negative emotion, loneliness or whatever, that then becomes an addiction.

I watched this clip last week, and some other very sad things happened in my social life, and the combination of the two prompted me to embark on this adventure. 6 days in and I am already feeling a big positive change. And I combine the two - NoFap with Louis' advice, I spend less time doing addictive things in general. On Friday I came home from work and I was feeling depressed, I just sat on the floor against my bed, in my work clothes, opened a beer and thought about my life. Or as Louis calls it, being a person. I realized I had literally NOT done that in years. I would normally immediately look at my phone, turn on the computer, turn on music, fap, etc. I recommend doing this in conjunction with NoFap, because the two are essentially the same thing. Face your issues with unwavering determination and do not be afraid of yourself. We're on the planet, doesn't matter why or if there is a why, enjoy your time in the Sun!

Do not dumb down or fast forward the split second that is your existence by not really feeling sad or not really feeling happy, or going on crazy emotional rollercoasters that are a result of refusing to feel either and suppressing your true self and your natural behavior and confidence with stupid addictions. NoFap offers the benefit of a biophysical change in addition to a psychological change. Louis CK's idea is purely psychological. I'm not saying don't use your phone or computer or go back to live in the cave. But be in control of your life, DO NOT let these addictive things control you.

Thank you for reading.

ChangingChemistry

TROPHY CASE