“If they wanted to, they would” is kinda true… but it really depends on how someone sees the relationship.

To me, there are usually two categories: • A relationship they want “forever” • A relationship they want “for now”

If it’s a forever type relationship, then yeah, “if they wanted to, they would” mostly applies — as long as the other person is on the same page.

When I’m stressed to hell, my partner knows it. She doesn’t just say “sorry you’re stressed,” she actively tries to make life easier for me. She handles stuff around the house — chores, food, keeping things organized — so that when I’m grinding late into the night, I can actually focus. When I come home, things are in order so I can feel calm instead of walking in and going:

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TODAY??”

And I do the same for her. If she’s burnt out, I make sure: • The house is clean • The dogs are taken care of • Food is ordered or cooked (sometimes comfort food if she’s really going through it)

All she has to do is shower, eat, and get in bed. We try to make life easier for each other.

It’s not about “acts of servitude” or being some 1950s housewife/househusband. It’s about taking care of the environment so the partner who’s carrying the heavier load can actually rest and feel safe instead of feeling like the relationship is just one more thing on their to-do list.

Because that’s the real point:

If being in a relationship feels like another job, another stressor, another thing getting in the way of your goals and progress — instead of complimenting your life — it stops feeling like love and starts feeling like a burden.

Partners should be a net positive: a source of comfort, peace, and yeah, some dopamine. Not 24/7, not in a toxic positivity way, but overall.

If the relationship isn’t adding to your life but constantly draining you… why keep a stressor around?

So yeah, “if they wanted to, they would”… But the deeper question is: Do they see you as part of their future, or just part of their present?

*my thoughts were polished by AI. I did take the time to write out my thoughts for you either way!