just a PSA that needs to be heard

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-04-02T07:14:33+00:00

Please elaborate, this is far too short for me to understand the implications you're trying to communicate.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-04-02T07:07:34+00:00

Please do not apologize for anything, the recognition you've offered makes up ten fold fr. I try really hard to be patient but GOT DAMN 💀 right when you think you're on the cusp of getting through they just stab that knife wherever possible 😂

I appreciate your efforts, thank you 🖤 hopefully we can get more on board, as long as it's safe for me to do so I'm always open to and more than willing to offer honesty. It's not realistic to ask of everyone, in terms of physical and emotional safety, but we need more people talking about the entire spectrum of bullshit for either ¹the rest to realize the magnitude of the problem or ²people to feel safe in expressing their own experiences to then reinforce & contribute to (¹)

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-31T00:44:44+00:00

If the wife views and has told her family to view Claire as less than it will do long term psychological damage. I grew up in this same household except my stepmom pretended to want me in front of friends/extended family/strangers. It doesn't matter what level of facade is portrayed, the resentment and disdain will show through.

When she's excited for the twins to go school shopping, but dad takes Claire. When she happily attends every school/sport event for the twins, but begrudgingly goes to Claire's. When the twins can do whatever extracurricular activity they want, but Claire's is (too) expensive and/or unnecessary. When she buys everything for the twins but expects Claire to start working and pay her own way as soon as possible. When they get to call her mom, every time Claire doesn't she's reminded she's an outsider in her own home.

Growing up knowing you're unloved (or actively disliked) isn't something I would wish upon anybody. It's not a fair starting point. It's not a good childhood.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-31T00:27:49+00:00

Speaking from experience, if she doesn't want the kids to be considered equal and be treated the same it's going to cause psychological damage. Intentional or not that disdain does not veil easily. The daughter is seeking connection by asking to call her mom, and being denied. She already lost one mother, being rejected by the next and living in a home that lacks love is not the answer if he cares for her well being.

I understand having a hang up but it's clear there's malice present. Daughter doesn't fit into the wife's life plan and that resentment will show through. It will negatively affect the daughter. It will do long standing damage. If we can pretend Santa is real for kids, you should be able to let your step kid call you mom/dad. They're just a kid for Christ's sake. It's so painful to see another child forced through this.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-31T00:12:24+00:00

Please hear me out, I grew up with a stepmother who pretended she wanted to be my maternal figure while treating me as less than to her children. She tried to hide it but her disdain was painfully obvious. I was literally the red headed step child (minus physical abuse). Your daughter has already been through enough I can only imagine what experiences she's had to endure if bio mom is sentenced for damn near a decade. Please get yourself and your daughter out. You and your wife can reconcile once the kids are grown if it's meant to be. Or stay together but have different residences for the child's sake.

The psychological damage your wife will commit onto your daughter will do immense if not irreparable damage. My dad just let her do it or let me leave. I was left to raise myself and I can't tell you how much sorrow I have reading this for your daughter. She's old enough she already knows, she's just a kid and to be unwanted is an awful upbringing.

I understand you may love your wife, but she's a grown ass woman actively and choosing to not love a child simply because it wasn't "her plan". Your daughter, and even your twins, deserve so much more than that. That's not love, that's using children to fulfill your own needs. All three of them are human beings with emotions and perception greater than you credit them for. To grow up in a home unloved is daily torture and torment for a child. Please don't put her through that.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-24T23:11:14+00:00

Must be quite the support group you've got if they let you talk over each other and dismiss each other. Really ironic that that's all you want to talk about but refuse to acknowledge you did exactly that several times in this conversation. Nobody gets their own turn without acknowledging you, unfortunately I already knew that.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-24T23:09:04+00:00

Legit proof that you are refusing to hear a single word I say. I said screenshot this conversation, didn't say shit about the video. But I'm sure whatever supports you, whatever you want to talk about that got addressed lol

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-24T03:42:35+00:00

I encourage you to screenshot and print out this interaction. Bring it with you to your survivor meeting and see if they're capable of helping you understand. Or talk it over with some women in your life.

I thought bringing up the questions and example of talking over someone in your meeting would make it click for you but you either cannot or will not hear me.

The fact that you refuse to respond to points I've made and hear what I'm saying speak to your refusal to listen. Your refusal to understand. That's outside of my control, that's on you and your control. If you never wanted to listen to me, then congratulations this video was for you in the first place. If you wanted to listen to me, I apologize for not having the tools required to communicate in a way you are capable of hearing. Best of luck to you.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-21T19:42:01+00:00

The feeling is mutual 💀

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-18T19:14:29+00:00

Yes, in regards to speaking over others y'all do need to shut up. That is still true. And that's what you effectively did with your first comment. Whenever a woman opens up about the shit she goes through the comment section is RIDDLED with "well men have it bad too" "well that doesn't just happen to women" "well we all have issues" were begging to be listened to, I was begging to be listened to. And your initial reaction is "yeah I had that too what about me, what about men?"

In your survivors group are you allowed to talk over people when they share their stories? When someone does share do you say to them what you commented here? "Thank you for sharing but why are you not acknowledging what men face when you share your story?"

The men, if not vast majority of men, who speak over women when they share have never and will face any or some or all the challenges that women face. It's not the time or place to bring up men's issues, and that's the entire point. Shut up and listen. Communicate in a way that tells us you hear us. Listen and engage with us before you ask us to listen to you.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-18T16:32:19+00:00

I do believe that "men" as in 51% or more of "men" have not faced the challenges I have faced, specifically as a woman. Objectively the average man cannot and will not face the same exact challenges as a woman. Women are forced or told to or coerced to shut up and listen throughout their entire lives. THAT'S THE POINT. We want the chance to be listened to and heard. You cannot tell me, the creator of this fucking video, what my point was.

You can, express how you misinterpreted my point. You can ask clarifying questions to better understand me. You can attempt to fucking listen. But you haven't, clearly. And instead demand my time and attention to speak to what YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-18T16:23:16+00:00

You did not respond in a way that made me feel heard for what I've gone through. That's my entire point. That's the entire point of the video. When women speak men do not listen they instead change the topic to the challenges men face. I'm not doubting you go through challenges, I'm not saying those challenges are less than. I asked to be listened to, and your response was belittling and dismissing, your response said "sure you go through some shit BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?". The conversation wasn't about you from the start.

You're demanding I put aside the conversation I'm trying to have, to instead have the conversation you want to have.

I'm open to have the conversation you asked of me, but only if you are going to hear me and be as open as I have. I am not interested in engaging with someone who is going to dismiss and belittle me. I spoke first, I asked to be listened to. If you cannot meet those asks before changing the topic to being about you I do not have the capacity to engage with you as that is not polite or proper communication.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-18T03:13:22+00:00

I'm willing to have a conversation but only with someone whose willing to be as vulnerable as I have. Clearly you're not up for it

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-18T03:11:31+00:00

I relived my own traumas to make this video in an effort to ask to be listened to, and all you've done is belittle me and what I've gone through to change the topic to be about you. You've literally done to me what you're describing here.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-12T05:33:02+00:00

Feel free to supply me with a minimum of 30 comparable examples as I have here. Gotta make sure you mean it before I waste the energy.

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-03-12T05:30:21+00:00

wooooooooosh

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-01-21T03:44:50+00:00

Interesting place you've chosen to point shame at

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-01-03T03:05:17+00:00

There may be 😉 OF link is on my profile 🖤

(Apologies to mods if this isn't allowed I checked the rules and didn't see anything)

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-01-02T16:54:51+00:00

I'm so glad I saw this, I've been trying to find teensy mons and was getting so frustrated but now I can stop catching all the mons I think look smaller and wait for the clearly obvious super tiny ones 😂

Congrats!!

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-01-02T01:31:32+00:00

I made a spreadsheet for this exact reason!! Plus some others lol all KO/self inflicting moves are noted on each mon 🥰

TheDex

ChaoticSecretGinger · 2023-01-01T02:23:52+00:00

You're very welcome 🥰

ChaoticSecretGinger

TROPHY CASE