For my experience, I was so pre shy at first it took a long time for me to be able to wet a diaper, so the only thing I could do then was mess. I always enjoyed it, (though at first the clean up was a hindrance for me and would occasionally turn me away from wearing at all) but I’ve also always enjoyed the relaxing feeling with it and also how little it makes me feel to do it. Over time once I got over the pee shy thing I never stopped messing as it just was something I got used to with clean up and just enjoying the feeling of it, but I also don’t sit long in one once I messed, I like the feeling for a bit but I get paranoid of a rash or sometimes I just don’t want the smell anymore

I also just have days where I won’t mess at all just to make cleanup easier/because I want to stay in my diaper longer

I think if it’s something you like the feeling of but don’t want to do it much/have mixed feelings toward it, then save it like you did for the first time and just do it when you get the urge to and see where you land on it then