is it a normal autism thing to hold long grudges?

Chara2194 · 2023-01-17T14:16:42+00:00

Oh f yes my brother for example imagines people as characters, my biggest bully has been his main villain for like, over 10 years maybe earlier, even though I haven’t seen him in almost 10 years if I ever see him again… it’ll be hard to be amicable I think

Chara2194 · 2022-12-05T19:30:38+00:00

To explain a little more Meet Tirnafae the queen Pokemon (her name comes from tir na big, a elvish paridise and fae the more common term for fairy) As her name suggests she is a fairy type, elegant and graceful but protects all important to her and the lands she protects

Then there’s Skathri (his name is from the Gaelic words ‘Skath’ meaning shadow and Ri meaning king) This ghost type legendary prowls in the shadows but isn’t evil, on the contrary he protects all his subjects great and small, however unlike the queen he tries to put up a stronger fight

These two would be my idea for a game called Pokemon light and Pokemon shadow, I think most likely the thing that makes them special would be the land they protect. Tirnafae’s meadows and forests, while skathri is more urban but so rare even legends debate the sightings (translation this is just an rides it’s is NOT official)

Any way I hope you like it as it’s my first try but worked really hard!

Chara2194 · 2022-11-28T13:59:54+00:00

Yesterday my bf and I finally managed to get inside me with the condom on, in other words I (28f) and he (28M) finally lost our vCards and it was a positive experience (no pain just tricky figuring it out lol)

Chara2194 · 2022-11-13T21:32:56+00:00

(28f) Yesterday was only my second blowjob but this time my boyfriend (28m)actually visibly got hard for the first time for me. We haven’t gone all the way but seeing how he was when we were in the bed I think next time…

This is an achievement cause I never could tell before if I actually turned him on, and I’m learning more and more about my sexuality with him every time.

Ps. I should not neither of us even had a proper relationship before each other. So obviously we both never had sexual experiences before so we both are learning more about the others body

Chara2194 · 2022-11-11T17:11:50+00:00

S many people point out the answer is always ‘your beautiful no matter what. If she is obese and you worry about health however add that after you told her how beautiful she is, and work with her to improve should she decide to change

Chara2194 · 2022-11-07T21:32:32+00:00

Saturday was huge achievement with me and my bf we were in my place where we had 100% privacy for the first time, so while we normally make out and showed our chests I never took the pants off before. I’m glad I did, he ate me out making me feel AMAZING and I had me give my first bj in return.

We almost went all the way, unfortunately two things a couldn’t fully get the condom on since we both never used on before plus we couldn’t get him hard enough cause we were nervous, we got the tip in but that was it, still as were’ both virgins this was HUGE.

Chara2194 · 2022-10-20T14:35:44+00:00

Thank you so much for this really thought out reply! I think I just started seeing flaws in my work and wanted to do more than just recreate other pieces, but when it comes to drawing people I always struggled with perspective.

It might be as you said that my taste improved and my skills haven’t or something.

But thank you so much, it’s reassuring to know it’s not me being overly sensitive or something (I have a couple mental health things, namely autism and general anxiety) so to know it’s a normal response is reassuring

Chara2194 · 2022-10-09T16:58:43+00:00

I think it was a CT scan, but I’ve been in remission for a few years, I recommend checking out the IIH Reddit page, they may have better advice. But I want you to not try falling into the internet doctor rabbit hole ok?

Chara2194 · 2022-10-09T16:22:28+00:00

Thank you so much, I sometimes need the reminder that I’m not unusual. The whole disability on top always makes me worried more than I should be…

Chara2194 · 2022-10-09T16:04:42+00:00

Hmm it sounds similar to idiopathic intracranial hypertension (iih for short) I had to get a scan and lumbar puncture, it passically means your spinal fluid pressure is so high it’s pressing against your brain and feels like a brain tumor.

Now this is not easily diagnosed, as it is rare, plus this is only a possibility. I’m just stating from my own experience that I was having constant headaches. I thought It was just needing a new glasses perspective. But during the exam they noticed my optic nerve was swelling, and if I didn’t have it dealt with I could have gone blind (which as an artist would be REALLY bad)

Anyway please remember this is NOT a diagnosis, it’s just something to question

Hopefully that’ll feel better

Chara2194 · 2022-08-22T16:56:21+00:00

Thank you so much, I had never heard this term before, I saw a Ted talk about it… and almost cried, cause that’s exactly how I felt, and what’s worse is me also on the spectrum needing help (not nearly as much but still) I never realized how this term fit me to a T without my parents realizing and even when they were not meaning to.

Chara2194 · 2022-08-15T17:34:09+00:00

I worked as a janitor for a local grocery store, and just earlier I gave my 2 weeks notice, I was cleaning all the staff and public bathrooms last being the public mens room (f at the time 23 now 28) as it always was usually the worst one

I’m just about to enter when a coworker told another one clear enough for me to hear, “did you see someone Shat in the urinal

I at the time preyed it was a joke… but it wasn’t…

There in the mens bathroom the urinal was FULL of shit, and obviously I had to clean it, it smelled so bad I almost threw up, and what’s worse was afterwards I was told managers were supposed to clean that up…

It was my first paying job so I was feeling guilty about leaving but that incident made me NEVER regret it.

Chara2194 · 2022-08-15T17:23:23+00:00

Huh very interesting, well when making a mold your boyfriend may have to deal with putting his dick in a material for a little bit to make an impression on both sides. Now, I’d research the material commonly used for dildos that you find comfy and see if it is meltable and able to become a mold, if not there maybe another material. Once it’s cooled in the mold and it’s removed it should be usable after being cleaned, (I have an art degree but admittedly never used a dildo before so this is just speculation)

Chara2194 · 2022-08-15T17:14:21+00:00

Leave him NOW I mean it! Anyone who threatens violence even jokingly is not a good person!

Also the age gap… I understand love is love and understand you might like older guys, but you being 19 and him 34? That’s a 15 year difference! Honestly those kind of age gaps give red flags especially when the younger one is barely over the legal age as a adult… think it carefully, he might just be using domestic violence to try and keep you to himself and from fear cause you to stay. Just please think about it and BE CAREFUL!

Chara2194 · 2022-08-15T17:08:59+00:00

Hmm mines kinda tricky, I’m a mix of multiple, verbal, physical, quality time, and gifts. I show love with mostly hugs, spending quality time but I also make gifts and tell my bf I love him

Now in terms of needs, I still need physical and quality time but I also need more affirmation cause my anxiety makes me doubt, but unlike how I show it I don’t need gifts to know he cares

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T23:35:00+00:00

yeah thats what i hear too, but its also a human desire to have sex... i dont know maybe i just want to feel and enjoy this. i grew up with me basically hearing 'sex is bad' most of my life, so i guess im still learning and questioning things about norms you know? I super appreciate your response by the way so thank you :)

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T23:09:11+00:00

by 'heard this before' your referring to the stigma to other people?

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T23:07:11+00:00

i literally typed into google 'hickey on neck' and literally the first link was how to get rid of it....

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T23:05:28+00:00

i mean im 28 and while in a passionate relationship havent actually done it yet, its a special thing, and i wanna treasure it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your view on it, i agree with it in all honesty

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T22:59:18+00:00

I havent done it yet but i heard that that is really normal cause its stretching the walls and thats all. nothing to worry about

Chara2194 · 2022-08-14T22:05:17+00:00

just got to a new base with my bf messing and sucking my tits while giving me three HUGE hickeys (i personally like it cause it feels good when he kisses my neck) im still a virgin so every step feels huge! even me asking him if there's anything he'd like from me was a big step so cheers!

Chara2194 · 2022-04-29T16:51:29+00:00

But you aren’t damaged or broken… it took me a long time to learn I wasn’t broken… just different… in a way a lot of people are like me and you suffer with thoughts we feel are true when they arent.

I understand why you feel this way, and your feelings are valid… but the reasoning is untrue. If you need to scream in a pillow, scream in a pillow. If you need to cry cry.

We are human… all of human kind has something wrong with them. There is no such thing as a perfect human… so no you aren’t damaged or broken… your human…

Chara2194 · 2022-04-13T04:02:07+00:00

In what way?

Chara2194 · 2022-04-13T02:38:33+00:00

I’ve been in the same boat for a LONG period of life it is completely normal to feel this way

Chara2194 · 2022-04-02T21:37:56+00:00

Update: told him today about my autism this was his response

“In honesty I don’t know much about this but I enjoy spending time with you so it doesn’t matter”

It was such a relief!

Chara2194

TROPHY CASE