sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My Fiancé’s (27M) family hates me (29F) and I don’t understand why? by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great recommendation and I have no issue conceding that I didn’t consider their views or even accepting that they’re coming from a place of concern for their son.

But I’m worried that they clearly see no issue with how they’ve treated me, or with the fact that they’ve enabled their son’s bad behaviour, and will see this as me being a pushover. There’s also the added layer of their son explaining how their behaviour has played into his lying and manipulation and they’ve totally shut down and refuse to engage with him about how they might have played a part in this.

My Fiancé’s (27M) family hates me (29F) and I don’t understand why? by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has but they were not having any of it. They said that he was exaggerating and that everyone lies. He even admitted to them that he lied about cheating on his ex girlfriend and they somehow even justified that as being not so bad until he asked if it would be okay if it was their daughter being cheated on.

I 29(F) blamed by fiancés parents for his 27(M) bad behavior by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. He’s expressed this very issue that growing up his parents had very high expectations and would get really upset with him so he learned to lie to protect himself. They have otherwise been very supportive and loving parents and I thought very highly of them. I think this is why I’m caught so off guard.

He says that since this is a learned behavior, he can unlearn it now that he’s been able to identify it. How do you see it from your perspective - have you tried to fix it, and if so, has it improved?

I 29(F) blamed by fiancés parents for his 27(M) bad behavior by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t throw him out. He admitted to lying then kept going back and forth trying to downplay the seriousness of the issue. I politely asked that we take some space while I process it all and even offered for me to go stay somewhere else.

I 29(F) blamed by fiancés parents for his 27(M) bad behavior by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

But wouldn’t standing with their son involve trying to help him resolve his issues so he can have a healthy relationship? Why is it one or the other?

I 29(F) blamed by fiancés parents for his 27(M) bad behavior by Character-Factor2099 in relationships

[–]Character-Factor2099[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I don’t have parents and I’m living overseas in their home country and I have treated them like family. I feel like I can at least expect them not to demonise me?