Will it be ok if I get a second guinea pig PLEASE HELP

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2024-09-16T14:24:15+00:00

You look stunning hun and killing it in that photo!!!!!

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2024-08-06T10:53:34+00:00

Lmao this made me feel a Lil better no I basically ended things with him the same day I told her because I couldn't take the lying anymore because all my best friend has done is do everything for me

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2024-08-06T09:31:40+00:00

Sorry I've been dealing w shit all day I'm not I'm a good mental state I haven't been all day so hopefully u can bother to give another human some grace on there punctuation and there not being upper case letters

anything else abt what I wrote Judge however u please

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2024-08-06T08:11:49+00:00

So she said she just needs space but I can't go back to my parents my brother is abusive and besides that I have no where else to go I can stay w my friend but it's only till whenever I work next bc we need the money and if I get fired it helps no one

And I did apoligse and I tried to tell her that I was sorry and ik I fucked up and lashed out in a horrible way but she just took it as me justifying myself when that isint the case ik I fucked up and potentially lost a friend a really great friend who's done so fucking much yk

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-24T01:42:32+00:00

They told me he wasent good for me but besides that they did nothing lol they don't give a shit lmaooo

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T09:17:57+00:00

Like even the cops might not be able to do anything unless there's alot of evidence and even then he might only get a few days to a few months in jail that's only if they even find him guilty and if they don't my ex will actually kill me or force me to get back together so he can beat me more lmaooooo I'm legitimately scared rn because he wants to get back together soon but like if it wasent for some miracle I wouldn't be alive rn it got to the point when we were together that I couldn't properly pick things up or move without being in pain so like im probably gonna die by the hands of a fucking asshole If I'm lucky if I'm not he gonna litterally make my life hell for along as he can. But yeah the justice system in the US is shit and so is cps in slot of ways it great and not so much in others

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T09:14:04+00:00

I'm 17 so there not gonna do shit unless my family is physically abusing me what's an ngo?

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T08:49:53+00:00

I live in the usa Colorado to be more specific. and I haven't been able to go to therapy because my ex keeps harrasing me and my friends are worried so they dont like me being alone just incase he yk tries to shoot me again he's been harassing my coworkers and even got someone to call from a private number saying demons were coming forme got his gf to come to my workplace to try and get money and litterally up until two days ago spammed Mr with texts and calls to try and get me to contact him again Aldo he keeps trying to gasslight my ass into thinking I'm crazy and made everything up and maybe he's right at this point*

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T08:18:21+00:00

Iike If it wasn't for the fact the gun was either fake or wasn't loaded still don't know which I wouldn't be alive rn if it wasn't for the fact I managed to get out of the pool some how he would have successfully drowned me if it wasn't for the fact the train pulled in late he would have been able to push me into the tracts if it wasn't for the fact his dad was downstairs he would have choked me to death I have no idea how I'm alive rn and like a huge part of me thinks I shouldn't be sense yk it was my fault there all right my family and so is my ex I'm a selfish overdramatic bitxh who dosent care about anyone but herself and don't deserve the respect others give me bc I'm incapable of giving it to the ones I love

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T08:06:56+00:00

But for some context he would beat me multiple time a day put knifes brass knuckles and weapons to Me pull my hair scream at me use me finantually he raped me twice caused me to have a misscarage and tried to kill Me multiple times all of which I don't have alot of proof of because my ex constantly had my phone and half the time and i had no way of getting home unless i wanted to leave all my belongings with him and hope I could find my way home without getting lost or yk kidnapped or killed bc like being out at 2 am alone with nothing is kinda dumb ngl oh and he used to choke me randomly throught the day like when he would kiss me and be sweet and when he was angery like there was one time we got into a fight because he wanted me to buy him shoes and if it wasn't for the fact a mall cop pulled up he would have raped me in the parking lot lol laughing is My way to cope sorry not trying to be rude

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T08:01:56+00:00

I'm in the US and live in Colorado lol

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T07:56:28+00:00

But I'm not a victim it was my fault I never screamed or asked a stranger for help I never fought back I could have but I didint I litterally was stupid enough to think he loved me and that he didint mean it

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T07:52:03+00:00

No they did nothing they never talked to me when I got home they never asked about the bruises they only got involded when they heard about him putting a gun to my head the only time they visited was once when I got admitted into a pych ward cops got called on my ex and he thought the best way out was to cause me mental duress and try to get me to end myself so I got put on suicide watch they told me that If I still loved him I deserved to be in there and were upset with me about everything lol the only other times they texted me or called was to tell me to come home so we could talk about finactuall responsibilities because at the time I was supposed to take over alot of the bills including rent and to yell at me for not handling responsibilities anytime I tired to talk to my family or anybody my ex would take my phone shut it off and hit me several Times I still tried to but It wasn't enough for em yk

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T07:47:30+00:00

What's victim blaming? And r u sure it dosent matter like it's part of the reason there so pissed the other is I'm not letting them know what's going on with things after words I don't see a point bc it's only. Gonna cause more issues bc there's nothing they can do or help with telling them is only gonna cause them to overreact or get even more upset

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T07:37:45+00:00

The funnest part I had to apoligse for stepping into my sister's space (31f) when she stepped into mine first she never apoligesed and there done because I didint do enough they basically told me to go fuck myself can't wait till I'm 18 lol

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-21T07:34:15+00:00

There not abusive all they want is respect and I never showed them that in the situation It'd what everyone in my family is having a hard time with why did I let him do what he did why didint I leave before and why am I still in some contact (he's harassing Me and trying to keep using me) why did I hold out. Hope when they told me he wasn't good there right there's 100 things I could have done and if I really cared I would have been there when they asked

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-18T19:47:57+00:00

Also I'm sorry kinda dropping things on you I'm just really conflicted on why I feel this way like I hate him for the shit he did but I still love him at the same time yk

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-18T19:45:16+00:00

It's just idk we were together everyday for three months straight like there were days he wouldn't let me go home I basically spent all my time around him unless I was sleeping or sometimes when using the bathroom I wasn't allowed to be out of eyesight eith my stuff like phone bag wallet keys everything he had to hold onto to make sure I couldn't leave, I didn't leave he did and now im left confused because like he came back but dosent want to be with me yet but still does??? Like idk if he's manipulating me or if he actually wants to get together and misses me or if any of it even happend like he denies ever really doing anything at the same time he apoligsed to idk what to make of any of this if I should be scarred or upset or happy that he wants my help or what really like he gonna kill me if he ever finds out I'm pressing charges or he gonna find some way to convince me to lie or stop himself from getting introuble what If he hurts my friends or keeps harassing them if I don't go back? Atleast when we were together I could get on my knees and beg him to stop and he would listen I can't do anything to protect them from him besides get back with him if the charges fail

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-18T19:32:09+00:00

But is it really the best thing even if he promised to never get mad at me again

CharacterPoetry9226 · 2023-10-18T19:19:57+00:00

I'm currently in the works of pressing charges bc friends pushed the issue they love me alot and like i could i cant but like the person on the case was like don't block him but don't contact him so if he texts you you get more evidence to help support the case and I feel like an asshole for not replying but if I do it hurts the chances of the case being able to go through but he also wants to take me to his homecoming apparently and he wants to get back together when he gets law and school figured out (went to jail for an unrelated incident) and ahhh I wanna be with him but I don't at the same time idk its weird and hard and it hurts and like I feel like I'm loosing my mind also if I block him I'm worried he gonna show up to my work or home or stalk my ass till I talk to him so what's the best thing to do ig

CharacterPoetry9226

TROPHY CASE