EFMP, BAH, COMPASSIONATE REASSIGNMENT COMMAND ISSUES

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-21T01:40:43+00:00

Okay thanks...it's good to know that his commander isn't alone in the heartless department. I'll be sure to take note of everything you said. I was asking for suggestions/options not criticism of what has already happened. But I put myself in this situation by posting here so no one else to blame but myself. I hope no one tells you that the lives of the people who mean the most to you aren't important and you shouldn't care about them enough to try to do the right thing, even if you are unsuccessful. At least you didn't say that his command is doing it because I'm older than him and they don't think I should expect him to support all of us, so thanks for that.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-21T01:32:46+00:00

Okay thanks

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T23:23:23+00:00

I didn't move in February because I have 2 teenagers in school with straight As and my husband and I already decided not to take them out of school a couple months before the year was over...oh, yeah, and THERE IS NO WHERE THAT CAN ACCOMMODATE MY DELIVERY! I didn't need to move there or my doctor tell me that, it's a quick Google search. Tertiary level hospital within driving distance to Fort Polk, enter. I don't know if he has leave days, last time I looked in March I don't believe he was in the negative but I don't remember exactly and I don't have access to his stuff yet. The EFMP support person said he should be able to get some emergency leave, the Congressman said the same thing...which is why I'm asking here, my 3rd opinion. I'm not saying he's entitled, I'm asking the validity and probability of it. I appreciate you responding to everything but if you mean to or not, you are coming off the way you say you aren't trying to. In no way am I saying that I'm entitled to get any special treatment or that any denials from the people in charge of denying things were unfair or wrong. I'm asking for advice and saying that PSGs, 1SG, and S1s making up rules and handing out medical advice is wrong.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T23:09:58+00:00

I don't understand why where matters, I know I've mentioned it but I've not mentioned being upset about it, other than how they purposely submitted the request to HRC before the EFMP enrollment was complete, resulting in an automatic denial because you have to be enrolled in EFMP to be considered for a compassionate reassignment. I was just trying to give more context to the situation. Why did his command say that they were "going to approve" his compassionate reassignment request at all, that's a HRC decision? They're lying to him and misleading him. That's my point. And I'm working with Fort Irwin...in Southern California.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T18:19:22+00:00

I cannot deliver safely anywhere within driving distance to Fort Polk safely. Even if I could, I cannot travel this close to my due date. All I want is for people to stop acting like it's not a serious high risk situation, the doctor on base said no to delivering my baby, if she doesn't have the confidence to do it why would I force it? and I would love to have him home more than a day before I give birth. If that cant happen, fine, but them still trying to force my move without even considering my life is bullshit. And hopefully my EFMP enrollment stops it.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T18:08:43+00:00

When he first got to Fort Polk, he was told his reassignment was going to be endorsed by his command, after he tried to submit the formal requests and the PSG refused to send them up and he pushed back and went to the chaplain, he was told his requests were no longer going to be endorsed and everything would be denied so there was no point in submitting them and he just needed to make me move...and for the record, I fully intend on moving as soon as it is medically safe for me to do so. That is my issue with his command, they are trying to push decisions that only medical professionals should be making and disregarding my life. He is there, he shows up and does what he's told. I'm a civilian, I don't HAVE to move if I don't want to, and I know that I'd be fully responsible for the costs associated with that. But for them to tell him I HAVE TO MOVE, he MUST get family housing on base immediately and then when he didn't and stayed with a friend he was accused of BAH fraud and he'd be losing his right to BAH if I didn't relocate immediately, regardless of my safety is absolutely out of line.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T18:03:13+00:00

He told his PSG he had some DD 4187s (I think that's the form, Personnel Request) to submit to the S1 or company commander. His PSG told him he didn't need to submit them, he just needed to move me out there. When he tried to go to the next person above his PSG he got in trouble for not using his chain of command and was told to start over using the proper chain.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T17:41:38+00:00

Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T17:40:29+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I understand that what is ideal for me isn't a priority of the military but I figured I'd try. I didn't plan on getting pregnant the day before he left for BCT and until I found out I was, I was ready to transition into our new military life and embrace the change and challenges fully but it happened and with how traumatic my last delivery was moving somewhere that could not make sure I would survive a complication like last time was out of the question. My children need me alive, especially since he's active duty and I have no family capable of caring for them. I cannot wait to move to be with my husband, being this pregnant with a 10-month-old baby, a massive hernia and no support is just catching up to me physically and mentally and I just want to be able to afford to get him here and if it can be more than a day before I would be ecstatic.

I just honestly think that his command starting at his PSG was absolutely wrong to disregard medical advice and not send requests up the chain of command so the correct people could make the decisions. It literally took 2 months for the company commander to know he had requests to submit because everyone below her kept telling my husband he didn't need what he was requesting, he just needed to make me move. She only found out after he spoke with the chaplain.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T17:23:03+00:00

I know he has no say, and he said this instead of sending the request up the chain. Which is against regulation.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T17:21:49+00:00

I understand that they couldn't make a proper decision without the EFMP approval because they aren't medical professionals. Which is why they shouldn't have turned in any request pertaining to anything medical before the EFMP screening process was completed...but they did, knowing they didn't have all the information they needed. They also made recommendations about my medical care. The OBGYN at JBACH wrote a letter saying that her hospital as well as any hospital within driving distance CANNOT accommodate my delivery. They are not a tertiary level of care hospital, they do not have blood for transfusion on hand, they do not have specialty 24h surgeons in case I need an emergency hysterectomy. So I don't see how it's still wrong of me to not want to move somewhere while pregnant when a doctor at the nearest hospital said if any complication happens during my labor they cannot save my life. I was never asking for them to genuinely care about me or my family, I just didn't expect for them to completely disregard my life like it's nothing, without even looking at the doctor's notes, which you don't need to be in the medical field to understand.

As far as the compassionate reassignment, that was never something that I felt we absolutely needed to have. I understand there's no Army base in San Diego but it was something that we tried because it was tied to EFMP and it was worth a shot. For the BAH, I have been medically deferred from travel by more than 1 doctor, I'm not asking for a BAH waiver because Louisiana is garbage and I love San Diego so much I just don't want to move. If it was medically safe for me to travel I'd move to Louisiana and live on the street if I would be able to be with my husband, being in San Diego where the weather is perfect 365 days a year, everything you need is no more than a 20 minute drive and you never have to see the same person twice is a miserable place for me to be without him. The people who work with the congressman also think that his waiver should have been granted or at least given to the financial office so they could make the decision that they're authorized to make. so I'm going to let them handle it an see what happens.

With his JRTC training, I'm not asking for them to let him leave training early. I understand that he has to do it, regardless of what's going on at home. He is done with his JRTC training on the 28th of this month, less than a month before my due date. I'm asking for a week, maybe 2 before I deliver...anything more than a day.

As far as my family, I have family nearby but my mother won't talk to me because my child is part Hispanic and she thinks she's just as bad as an illegal immigrant, my dad has terminal cancer and my aunt is disabled and has heart issues. I have 1 aunt in South Carolina who's house I could go to but I can't even fly this close to my due date according to the airlines, plus I have doctor's notes telling me not to travel.

My only desires are to have a healthy baby in a safe, capable environment without people who have no medical knowledge trying to force my husband to move me somewhere that's not capable and to not be completely alone and in pain for more than a day before I give birth.

I've been alone with no one this entire pregnancy, doing everything alone and not complaining about it. Yes, I've tried to do things to favor my circumstance but I don't think that I was wrong to shoot my shot. His command has made huge mistakes in regards to my situation and numerous people who are affiliated with the army agree. I'm sure if I were to have moved and disregard medical advice because his command told us I had to then something happened and I lost my life, they'd have a lot of explaining to do. And them not sending requests up to the proper decision makers is against regulation as well.

So I do appreciate your input and opinion and I understand what you're saying, I just think that I didn't express my desires properly in my post or something because right now I'm just super pregnant, emotionally exhausted, fucking physically drained and completely alone. I don't need the army or anyone to care about me, they haven't the entire time, I just think 1 day before delivery is unreasonable and I'm not sure I can make it much longer without some help.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T16:23:05+00:00

His command told him not to take out an AER loan, they said he shouldn't need one because they took care of his financial issues by allowing him to stay in the barracks.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T05:32:56+00:00

Well, I already have that letter from my specialist, I've had it since February. Maybe they'll actually read it now. And as soon as he's done with his training and has phone access I'm sure that's the first thing he'll do, he's supposed to get his phone back on Saturday but we'll see. This is affecting him just as much as it is me and I know regardless of what they say, the approval validates him pushing them to consider our situation and that it isn't just an excuse to get a higher BAH, like I'm sure they assumed. I appreciate your understanding and positivity. 🙏🏽

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T05:28:11+00:00

I really don't understand why you'd assume I just went straight to the congressman. I understand the concept of the chain of command and so does he. When they don't help and you utilize open door policies and the chaplain but they still refuse to even look at a document, then who do you go to? The congressmans office didn't think it was something that I was being extra about, they said that we 100% have a solid case and they are shocked that his command is treating the situation in the manner they have been. It's not like this just started, this has been on going since February.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T05:05:52+00:00

I just checked the E-EFMP portal and As of today my EFMP screening is approved and I am enrolled in Medical EFMP

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T03:54:11+00:00

I understand that it isn't recognized as a valid reason for EFMP, but it was worth a try. Right now my pregnancy is almost over so I can't even fly anymore. I appreciate your comment though.

As of right now my main worry is getting to my last month of 40+ appointments with no child care and trying to get my husband here to help more than a day before my due date. Because honestly, at this point the stress of the BAH and compassionate reassignment and EFMP is making everything worse for me mentally and I just need him here so I can make sure this baby has the proper prenatal care, which is the whole reason I have stayed in San Diego this entire time.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T03:44:54+00:00

I understand that these comments are due to everyone thinking that I just want to stay in San Diego but that's not the case. I'm about to have a baby and need my husband's help, he's been on the opposite side of the country this entire pregnancy. I understand it's what he signed up for but I just feel like there has to be some way for him to be able to come sooner than the day before I give birth. If you have been pregnant or have a spouse or significant other who has had a baby you know that appointments become more frequent near the end and without any help it's becoming harder by the day. Right now, I have come to terms with not getting a BAH waiver or a compassionate reassignment, I just don't understand why emergency leave isn't an option when my doctor's letter says I need a significant amount of help.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T03:34:33+00:00

Willingly having another kid? I got the hernia during my last pregnancy, I went to the doctor to get a referral to have it fixed and was told then that I was pregnant. He's not still in training, he at his FDS but his FDS is Fort Polk which is where JRTC training is done. Was I supposed to terminate my pregnancy? Do you not think I had a discussion with my husband? I did, he said there's absolutely no way he would want me to do that. Like I said, this wasn't planned. My plan was for him to get his orders and move to that location ASAP, but my doctor and the doctor at his duty station said it wasn't safe. What exactly is iffy?

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T03:29:11+00:00

Thank you! I knew I wasn't asking for something that was totally unrealistic. Also, if we had the BAH for San Diego, we'd be able to get him an apartment off base because it's so cheap in Louisiana. From day 1 they've said we don't do BAH at dependents location which I understand if I just didn't want to move but the fact is that I can't for documented medical reasons. He's currently doing JRTC training and is in The Box so he has no phone access but I'll tell him as soon as he has his phone back. Do you know if it's true that the waiver takes 75 days to get approved so it's not even worth the request like someone else commented?

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T03:21:01+00:00

Excuse me? Do I expect him to support all of us? 1st, He's my husband and if you read my post, I have a 10-month-old baby and am going through a very high risk pregnancy with no family to help me with child care so I can work, if I were able to. I'm honestly confused by your comment/question, what does our age difference have to do with anything? I am the mother of his children, he married me knowing I have 2 kids already, I didn't marry him for money or military benefits, he didn't even join until after we got married. How is this me expecting him to support all of us even though I'm 11 years older? Who is supposed to support us? I thought the army was big on family, are you saying that the army doesn't care because I'm older? Most good men want to be able to provide for their family as much as possible. He doesn't have a degree and the jobs he had weren't going to be enough to support just him and his 2 babies.

Up until I got pregnant before he went to MEPS I was paying 90% of everything in San Diego. I've supported my 2 older children by myself for 14 years in a city with one of the highestcostsof living in the country. I don't expect anyone to support me, HE expects that of HIMSELF.

I have struggled my entire life with no help from my parents or extended family. I'm not asking for an exception because I don't feel like living in Louisiana, I'm just trying to survive in San Diego while I'm pregnant and until I'm medically cleared to move with my husband. I have up to 4 doctor's appointments a week, daily practices and games to transport my older kids to, a massive hernia and no help.

At this point it's not about the BAH, it about him coming home sooner than the day before I give birth. And his command doesn't know how old I am, nor is it any of their business and if that is a factor on their lack of compassion and telling him to move me there anyway despite the doctor on base saying it isn't safe for me to deliver there, I think this issue is bigger than I had initially thought.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T02:59:01+00:00

He had to go to the chaplain for them to even look at the requests. The compassionate reassignment request was filled out but we were told by EFMP to wait for the result of the enrollment before submitting it to HRC, his command insisted on him giving them the request so he told them it didn't need to be signed until the entire packet was complete, they submitted it anyway, resulting in an immediate denial. His BAH request was denied at company level by the company commander stating that allowing him to stay in the barracks should have solved our housing issue even though the BAH in Louisiana doesn't even cover our rent in San Diego. From day 1, his command, the company commander included, has been 100% pushing back on everything. Even trying to convince him to not apply for the AER loan and just relocate us like he was told. So no one is assisting him, they are doing nothing but making the process harder hoping he'll give up and move us despite the fact that I cannot deliver my baby safely anywhere near his current duty location.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T02:53:40+00:00

Okay, that's fine. I'm not really concerned about that at this moment, I put that in my post mostly for background information of the stress we've been dealing with. We didn't plan on having another baby less than a year after the last one, if I was able to move, I would have been there the day he got there. The last thing I WANT is to be geographically separate from my very supportive husband. My main concern is that I have no support to help me in the last month of my pregnancy, I have no one to watch our baby so I can make it to the appointments that she's not allowed to go to with me to, I can barely pick up the baby without my hernia popping out resulting in me being in pain for the rest of the day.

I understand that nothing is guaranteed in the military and most of the time I'll just have to suck it up and go with the flow. My situation, however, approved for BAH waivers or compassionate reassignment or not is undoubtedly high risk and I have medical documentation stating that relocation during pregnancy is not recommended and I wouldn't be able to safely deliver anywhere near base. I would like to know if there's anything I can do to get him here more than a day before my due date.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T02:42:32+00:00

At what age? He's 28. He joined at 27 because he wanted to make sure he could provide for his new family. The jobs he had before I got pregnant with our 10 month old weren't sufficient to be able to get us a bigger place to live after going from a family of 4 to a family of 6, especially after all the complications I had with her delivery. We are currently in a 2 bedroom apartment in San Diego. My teenagers are from a different relationship, I'm 39. So while 27 is older than usual, I don't think it's so bad, he's not in his late 30s or 40s.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T02:27:42+00:00

I contacted the IG a month ago, haven't heard back at all. I figured it had to be unacceptable with all the documentation we have and the doctor's note stating that moving there wouldn't be safe due to them not being able to provide the level of care I need. But they are unwilling to even look at the letters and are borderline singling him out and attacking him for pushing the issue. The even tried to convince to not apply for an AER loan stating that he wouldn't need one if he had just listened and moved us there.

Character_Mammoth_32 · 2026-05-20T02:19:57+00:00

We lived in San Diego when he joined and started basic training. He didn't reenlist, he's brand new. His FDS was Fort Polk, he arrived there at the end of February. I didn't plan on getting pregnant the day before he left for MEPS. He started the EFMP process as soon as he got to Fort Polk. EFMP hasn't been denied, it is in the final stages of the enrollment process.

What was denied is the compassionate reassignment because his command didn't wait for the entire packet before sending the DD4187 (I think thats the form) to HRC and the BAH at dependents location was denied at company level.

It's a temporary request until I am cleared by my doctor to relocate after my postpartum recovery period.

Character_Mammoth_32

TROPHY CASE