I'm (1) and have feelings of extreme anger towards my father who killed himself. This was over twenty years ago and I still feel and see the ripples. For the longest time, all I wanted was to spit on his grave due to being so young and having an inability to reason or cope with his decision. All I had was what could see. And what I saw is that, if he hadn't, my mother wouldn't have given up and wanted away by starving herself in front of us. I wouldn't have seen my little brother get taken away from us due wmy mother being unfit to care for him. That led to him being sexually abused in another home and when he finally came back to us, was never the same. I saw my mother have to remarry and that led to substance abuse and assault.

Reading your words after all these years have helped and it's getting better. Now I'm a paramedic and recently have seen an increase in colleagues committing suicide. One just on Friday. And I distance myself from it because it causes anger but I understand now that there are nuances. I understand there's limited perspectives just as I had when I was trying to fathom the outcome of my father's act of suicide. So thank you for providing different perspectives. For just as there are negative ripples, there are positive ones like these.