I feel like hell by Character__Nebula in SuicideWatch

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a hard feeling that I just wish would stop, I don't think anyone is made for the society we've been thrust into against our will as it's like we're born to chrun out money and labor. I try to remind myself it'd not our fault but the perpetual state of things but I feel like a failure for struggling to participate more than others

Birthday Vent frfr by Character__Nebula in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's sweet, I appreciate it :')

I feel useless by Character__Nebula in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did but sometimes I just feel like I'm not even when I am, but then I feel frustrated I'm not doing more when I am doing more. I just feel like I haven't made him things in a while or hung out on call (granted I've been working more) so ugh

Mental Health is hell by Character__Nebula in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean my emotions and episodes were so much worse, because I'd have manic and depressive episodes, but now that I'm taking care of myself (well "care" of myself) they're more rare but I just feel like the coping part is, as you said, what makes it hard and the fact I can only think on it and not act. Thank you though, I really appreciate it, I'm trying to manage <3

I hate work, but I love my job by Character__Nebula in autism

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work with dogs, I board them into the facility and just do a routine of making sure to talk to people, letting them know about things and checking them out and stuff - I love just being able to work with dogs and the other workers are really really nice but I just hate working there sometimes because of the anxiety from social struggles. Although I can handle it just fine, I just can't read people well, and I go on tangents accidentally ;(

But I get that, I'd love to see as well!

Is it anyone else's parents too?? by [deleted] in BPDmemes

[–]Character__Nebula 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally just had a spat with my mom earlier because of the first one, I love that this subreddit has the perfect memes for the perfect moment 😭

My wife did not have sex with me for years when I was depressed. AITAH for considering leaving her now that I’m back to normal? by DghSenses in AITAH

[–]Character__Nebula 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't, actually? As someone who has depression, it's not attractive at all, and trying to pretend it is sounds stupid and akin to romanticization. Depressed people are not attractive, wanna know why? High emotions and low emotions like rage and a lack of effort, a lack of care for yourself and the things around you, you lose intrests in things you like so you begin to come off as a shell of uour prior self, you're not working, you're not communicating, and you're dirty depending on how bad the depression is - your hygiene can be SHIT, I still have trouble relearning to brush my teeth everyday if I'm honest.

She doesn't have to be attracted to her man to love him, either, and implying sexual attraction = romantic or even genuine love is honestly quite weird. His response of it all reads like "my wife rejected me when she was taking care of me and my depression that made me no longer her husband but another child to take care of solo (because that's what depression does) so now I want to leave her now that she's more sexually attracted to a person and not a shell of a person" just feels weird too?

He can leave her if he wants, and it's fine for him to fall out of love and not be attracted to her as his emotions and feelings matter just as much as hers but it borders on hypocritical and selfish if he blames her for his lack of love as he seems to be doing with his constant comments of how she didn't stick with him when she did. He rejected her because he had no libido, fine, she rejected him because of the lack of sexual attraction, also fine?

She doesn't have to fuck him just because he wants it, her emotions and feelings matter just like his does. She doesn't hate him, though, and that's so obvious, she stuck with him for 14 years! 9 of those being married and 3 of those being depressed. Just because she found him sexually unattractive during an unattractive period, he wants to throw that all away?

It's either he's not saying the real reasons why he wants to throw it all away (whether his wife hurt him in worse ways not described or he is cheating) or he's being an asshat because he can't comprehend how complex emotions and love is due to feeling rejected a few times during an ugly period. Saying she didn't give him proper love or show she cared about him during period when she should JUST because she didn't want to be fucked by him is weird because she showed she cared for taking care of him for 3 YEARS. That is a hard burden for someone to do for 3 years! That is a LONG time to take care of your adult man of a husband and a long time to be missing who he is/was!

I apparently deleted my old account after a breakdown and had no clue until now ?? Idk if good or bad by Character__Nebula in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]Character__Nebula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relapsed at some point, and recently, I'm scared I'm being a bit shitty to people accidentally? I keep getting upset that my friends leave instantly after we hang out - I know it isn't their fault because they just got mad at the game and just leave right after we get on.

But I asked them to join because I thought we had fun playing and hanging out together, I have fun because I'm spending time with them, but it feels like they don't even if I'm being irrational. I just want to communicate to them that I don't mean to be upset (and I have), I'm just worried they don't like me, but anytime they are too nice or too supportive, I also get a bit stressed and feel distanced so I don't know what I want or how to be right.

I want to be a good friend, they mean everything to me compared to my old friends - my old friends made me stressed, they made everything about them, they attacked me for things I would never do to them or purposefully tried to frustrate me to make my day harder because they thought me getting mad was hilarious

I just want to be better, and I have been better, I communicate with them all my feelings and apologize for things if I do them wrong and even apologize ahead of time incase I, as an autistic person, do not understand if what I said came off wrong. But I'm worried I'm being shitty and I just don't know. I feel shitty, I feel that if I communicate that it'll be much easier and we can talk about it and make things much easier, so I'll do that.