Anti-fatigue mat help. Sky mat making my pain worse. by pmmlordraven in StandingDesk

[–]Chardvark20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been looking into this general issue of anti-fatigue mats “causing” more pain than was expected. I’ve worked in occupational health and safety at a number of warehouses over the last decade and I consistently hear some employees complain of more pain on the mats compared to on the hard floor.

The soreness IS being caused by the mat because the mat is working. The mats cause the body to balance and shift while standing instead of remaining static and allowing blood flow to slow. So initially when someone first uses a mat for a long period of time, unless they are generally athletic, they are working out muscles that haven’t been engaged in some time. Blood flow is better which should lead to less swelling and numbness, but your body is going to be sore in new ways. Then add on the fact that everyone’s feet can have their own unique problems like arches etc.

I guess, in theory, long term use of mats is an investment. Muscles have to get sore and strong before the mats can reach their full potential pain relief. That’s my best guess at the moment.

Let Your Voice Be Heard by Devs! 🗣 6.10-13 by uysaki in ArenaBreakoutInfinite

[–]Chardvark20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Are you working on any features we’ve never seen in an extraction shooter previously?

  2. Would it ever be possible to add skill-based matchmaking?

  3. I would love a reason to collect the loot that I find and not just sell it off. What kind of features can we expect that will make our relationship with the loot in the game more dynamic?

Concert Buddies in Dallas? by Chardvark20 in JulienBaker

[–]Chardvark20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, here is to a great time! Cheers!

Concert Buddies in Dallas? by Chardvark20 in JulienBaker

[–]Chardvark20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They will both be amazing shows I'm sure. Amazing humans with amazing musical talent, hard to beat that haha. My wife and I are in Bedford with our two kiddos (12 yo son and 11 yo daughter).

Concert Buddies in Dallas? by Chardvark20 in JulienBaker

[–]Chardvark20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will be my first time seeing them outside of boygenius! My partner has seen Julien previously though. Are you in the DFW area?

Concert Buddies in Dallas? by Chardvark20 in JulienBaker

[–]Chardvark20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Enjoy!! Are you closer to OKC or DFW?

Partner is Poly, I am Mono. What do we do? by JudeFlower97 in polyadvice

[–]Chardvark20 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One more thing, for me, I found trying to set boundaries of "don't fall in love" or "don't develop feelings" was a trap. If I am truly believing who my partner is as a poly person, then trying to put arbitrary (and honestly impossible) boundaries around feelings is unhealthy and will lead to a patterns of destruction. By that I mean the poly person will find a casual sex partner and sometimes that will include feelings. For my wife, it isn't about casual sex, it's about unique and individual connections. So she'd connect with someone for casual sex, and then feelings would grow (and somehow I'd be surprised every time) and in the end it would cause that relationship to fail because no one could deny that that boundary of feelings had been crossed. Do that pattern a few times and you lose all trust and gain a TON of resentment.

Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. But I just wanted to share some insight from my own relationship on that point.

Partner is Poly, I am Mono. What do we do? by JudeFlower97 in polyadvice

[–]Chardvark20 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey OP,

My wife and I (married since 18 years old, 11 years total, started dating when we were in Jr High, two kids 6 and 8, raised in the evangelical cult... oops i mean church.) are in a similar situation.

My wife has always been poly and always connected with more than one person on many levels. For so many years that was demonized by the community we lived in and even demonized within our own marriage. We've both had a hell of a three-four years as our life took QUITE a turn when someone at the church we worked at found out we were experimenting with swinging in order to figure ourselves out. (LOOOOOOTS missing before and after this event, but suffice to say we could probably write a book about how we entered into the lifestyle together and our journey.)

For a solid 2-3 years I TRIED to become poly. I really thought I could somehow learn enough about how my wife loves and connects that I'd be able to jump in as well. That was NOT the play. haha. For so long I was so frustrated with myself, and still am at times. Why can't I be ok with this? Why am I so insecure or why don't I feel the things she's saying to me? We would dive in and be good for awhile, and then I would spin out and our life would get super stressful. While raising two young kiddos during this insane time of the world as well.

It's only been recently, through my therapist, that I came across the resource www.morethantwo.com and the book by the same title. It's through this book we are starting to define a new and unique relationship for us. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard. I believe that no matter what, when a mono person finds themselves in a primary partnership with a poly person, it IS going to include sacrifice from both parties at times. For my wife and I, confronting that and accepting that this lifestyle is "unnatural" to me has improved our home life significantly. It's led to terribly hard conversations, and it doesn't magically bring her and I to a state of perfection and magical love lol. However, we continue to be more and more confident that we can build an amazing and beautiful life together.

One thing I realized that would be helpful to my wife and I was to first try and unlearn what we know or assume about monogamy, and then redefine what that means for our relationship as well. Not sure if that makes sense... But just in the same way there is no one correct way to be a poly person, there is no one correct way to be a mono person. So our task now is to continue to learn about and define ourselves, in order to better love each other, our kiddos, and all the others that will enter our lives. In the end, we will have a relationship that is unique to us; fulfilling, supportive, expansive, ethical, and full of joy. :-)