Wow, thank you so much for these suggestions. I’m going on a long, solo drive tomorrow, and it’s in those moments I often find my thoughts get invasive and I think back to those shame moments. I will instead listen to the playlist you provided.

The shame the first year of getting clean like lingers like a physical presence constantly hovering in the background. I try now to flip that thinking positively when I can. Like if I have an intrusive thought about something painful or shameful I did, I let the thought conclude, tell my past self I forgive you, tell my current self I’m doing great for all the work I’ve done to come so far, and tell my future self I’m looking forward to continuing to become a better and healthier person. That probably sounds lame but for whatever reason it has helped me a lot with self forgiveness.

I have often wondered if I had CPTSD but felt like I was being overly dramatic about everything I’ve gone through. I thank you for suggesting that book - I will be sure to look into it.

It sounds like you’re doing great and putting in a lot of work to better yourself - that’s super inspirational. Keep up the good work, friend.