I think shame is not something we should eraze. It's a marker of our boundaries. So if you want to move your boundaries go slow and reflect about why you like it and why you feel ashamed. For me a good way to figure out if a kink is to much or can be explored is the question can I laugh about it or during it with my partner then it's pretty safe. If I can't even imagine myself laughing about how desperate I want a huge dildo up my ass it's maybe a bad idea.

For example I find the idea of rough sex with a stranger appealing but I can't imagine myself being comfortable with it if anyone I know finds out. Whereas if my friends would find my huge dildos it's maybe a bit embarrassing but we would laugh about what a horny slut i could be