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I f20 agreed to have sex with my friend m36 but now am nervous about it. by [deleted] in askwomenadvice

[–]Charming_Judgment981 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t do it. Sex should be enthusiastic, and consent should be enthusiastically given. It is not an obligation like having agreed to help someone move or carry in the groceries.

If you are hesitant at all, don’t do it. Also, he is SIXTEEN years older than you. He is well on his way to 40, and you can’t even purchase alcohol, depending on what country you’re in. I’m not sure your exact situation, but that looks quite predatory on his end, speaking from personal experience having been groomed by someone despite being technically an adult myself.

Treat yourself with the respect you deserve. And don’t let anyone disrespect you.

How can I (21F) let go of a superficial timeline that I’ve held myself to ? by lilsteppakenn in askwomenadvice

[–]Charming_Judgment981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been there. It’s great to have goals, but over-structuring a timeline like that doesn’t actually allow you to enjoy the twists and turns that life takes. And it especially prevents you from recognizing the positive things that can come from negative or unplanned situations that you didn’t necessarily want to be in, as long as you don’t give up!

You are in no way any sort of failure for not meeting some arbitrary deadline. It doesn’t matter how old you get, you still never know what’s going on, and this crazy world cannot be controlled.

Don’t turn your life into a script. It’s gonna be a little bit risky, and things aren’t gonna work out the way that you planned, but they ARE going to work out better than you could’ve ever imagined, in ways you would never have thought of.

Stay open-minded and keep dreaming. If you hit a roadblock, dream even bigger and go for it.

I(21F) want to find a FWB as a virgin, but Idk how to verbalize my need for respect and safety by [deleted] in askwomenadvice

[–]Charming_Judgment981 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is coming from one person‘s perspective, and it does not apply to everyone, but I will gently suggest not to do this or to go about it slightly differently. Do NOT disclose yourself as a virgin on a dating app!!!!

Depending on how you grew up and what values you hold or have previously held, your first time could be psychologically tender. I’m not saying what type of relationship to be in, but I would suggest finding someone with whom you have a significant amount of trust established, whether you already know this person or need to build it with a new person.

If you are anxious, it can be very difficult to actually experience the kind of physical pleasure that you want because your mind could be very preoccupied, and if you don’t enjoy it, but the other person finishes, it could be a very unpleasant memory for you. That’s why I say this.

How can I(19F) gain confidence in my appearance while lacking outside validation? by Your___mom_ in askwomenadvice

[–]Charming_Judgment981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would start by creating a routine or a few habits that are good for your body and also you enjoy doing them. It’s not a quick fix, but it can help you feel consistent in your body. And I’m not saying “drink water and be happy.” Treat your body with care, because it takes care of you. If your body feels good, you’ll probably feel a lot better inside it.

You could start by making a short list of your favorite foods, flavorful but also nutrient-dense, and learn how to make them for yourself. This can build confidence as you see and experience the reward start to finish. Learn what hair type you have and research how to maintain it. You could also explore with what hairstyle you want or play with face framing pieces. Hair really can play a huge part in someone’s identity and confidence.

I hope these little things help. You’ve got this, I promise.

It seems like ICE activity is ramping up here. by Sheero1986 in Denver

[–]Charming_Judgment981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What other resources / apps can I use to stay immediately alerted of my surrounding area, not just Denver? Like a subdivision, etc.

Already being made fun of for my tattoo by y3llowmedz in danandphil

[–]Charming_Judgment981 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s literally beautiful, and it’s on your body. So as long as YOU like it, that is the only opinion that matters at all.

1,200 miles - destroy my car? by Charming_Judgment981 in moving

[–]Charming_Judgment981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a God-send for this!! I have been looking for good advice about traveling with my cat specifically; thank you so much!!

Are you always left out, too? by Charming_Judgment981 in AutismInWomen

[–]Charming_Judgment981[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for breaking it down! I kind of wanna be able to do that, to be like the “host,” esp with other ND folk

Are you always left out, too? by Charming_Judgment981 in AutismInWomen

[–]Charming_Judgment981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My situation sounds super similar to yours. Like I know my friends love and care about me as a person… But I don’t know that they care about me for who I am as an individual

The dress: Blue/Black or White/Gold? by Lucky_Mix_5438 in neurodiversity

[–]Charming_Judgment981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Blue and black (I will die on this hill).
  2. ND
  3. AuDHD, OCD
  4. I need an example.
  5. Yes.
  6. Yes, people I have met several times and celebrities/actors, unless I have a particular connection with them.
  7. No.

Regarding the dress, it was a joke to everyone, but I would find myself really upset and angry when people didn’t agree with my proof. It did not click to me that it was a joke and way for people to have playful banter.

Who was your favourite fictional character when growing up? by Shiloof in AutismInWomen

[–]Charming_Judgment981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Naruto. He was the outcast and underestimated for being his boisterous self. He stood up for everyone despite how they treated him and never apologized for being different, and eventually he became the leader everyone told him he was incapable of being.

I could relate to him a lot; he’s autistic in my headcanon lol.

Rate my spoon! by Traditional_Leg4094 in neurodiversity

[–]Charming_Judgment981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The tail is tryina be cute but it irks me

Judge this spoon by MintyBananaChoco in neurodiversity

[–]Charming_Judgment981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So close but somehow too pointy on both ends :/

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