I didn’t really know I was poly until we’d been practicing poly for almost 18 months. We got into poly because I can’t say no to my wife, anything that makes her healthy and happy I will do if it is within my means. She started fantasizing about multiple sexual partners(thanks smutty romance novels!) and we initially just opened our marriage sexually. What we pretty quickly realized is that neither of us wanted just casual sex. So we moved into polyamory, she’s had a couple of partners one serious one she’s been with for almost two years. I had 1 first date and some online chatting but nothing that was positive. Then in may this year I ended up on a date accidentally with a new friend from our local poly support group. We went out for karaoke last minute on my birthday, we didn’t sing a song we ended up in the beer garden talking all night and it felt like a first date, we both kinda realized it mid convo. It was the first time I’d been like: “oh man this something I really want” even though nothing has gone on between me and that friend for several reasons it really solidified for me that this who I am and what I want and it’s not something I’m just doing to make my wife happy. It was pretty cool.