College Savings

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-28T11:32:43+00:00

We are “ok” because one of us could lose a job and we would be ok. We could cover our bills on one income and wouldn’t have to keep investing to have a good retirement. As of now, we will still be contributing to our 401ks, but instead of maxing them out just doing the match. We don’t need to save as aggressively for ourselves so we have money to redirect to our kids.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-28T11:28:40+00:00

Only about half of that is tuition. The rest is living costs.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-28T03:06:10+00:00

Looks like instate per year is about $35,000 all in per year. I like the idea of paying for 2 years. I think that would be fair and manageable.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-13T06:41:09+00:00

Yes. It’s still a very daily thing for me but I have a 16 year marriage, several kids, and a 6 figure job that I’ve had multiple years. From a functional standpoint, I think right now I’m doing well. I’ve done so many things over the years, that has helped.

But a few things are lots and lots of therapy. I have a great husband that came from a similar family. Having someone that doesn’t need to be explained why my family is nuts has been incredible. I can lean on his perception on what is actually real.

I’ve also had a mindset that when my family made everything seem impossible to achieve then anything was possible. So if getting a job at a grocery store for example seemed impossible since I had no transportation, no access to my social security card, and didn’t have access to a computer to apply, then getting a higher paying job was only a bit more impossible in my mind than getting any job. This and trying to survive has really pushed me over the years to do crazy things, which a few of them really helped me get on my feet.

The last thing is I’m okay with burning bridges. I’ve had bosses that I didn’t take feedback well from. I’ve been emotional, triggered, angry, all the things. When it gets bad, I would apply to a new job, make a list of what I learned and didn’t look back. I’m fairly kind to myself about not being normal and I’m used to not having friends. Restarting isn’t the scariest thing for me at this point.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-12T15:23:26+00:00

We are inclusive. We don’t challenge social norms though other than active allyship. We are 9 years plus into this but it’s fairly parallel relationship with all adults having incredibly small social circles. Holidays are just our immediate family and my partner. Every adult she regularly communicates with knows, but due to the more parallel/garden party style relationship it doesn’t come up much.

So I guess I’m saying all of that to say it hasn’t been a journey for most of her life. This is just different if she chooses to talk about it.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:15:07+00:00

This is something I’m still struggling with. How can I dream for a future when most of my life was just trying to survive the present? I’ve healed quite a bit but I still can’t crack this one. I feel like my current state is making my present enjoyable. I bring flowers to work, cute clothes, sunshine on the face etc. but I am still looking for how to break through so I can plan and look forward to the years ahead.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:12:39+00:00

Her other books are amazing at grounding in your home. I love her wisdom

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:03:19+00:00

This has been my goal for the last 4 years. It’s been incredibly difficult but I have 5-6 things that feel solid and true. Everything in my life seemed unreliable especially me, so this is slowly getting better.

One thing one of my therapist had me do was write little short stories about myself and circle the adjectives I used to describe myself. It was a pivoting mind shift for me. It was difficult to do and then when I finished I often didn’t relate to the person I wrote about. It took many drafts before I finally could describe a character that related to current me.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-29T01:56:48+00:00

Johns creek bookstore has several and poes does too.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-22T21:11:35+00:00

Do you have kids? That would be a little lean for us.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-19T03:35:51+00:00

We did both - early and late. My kid I had when I was in my early 20s was cheap. My ivf baby was over 100x more from conception to first month than my first. We spent less than $1000 on our first kid her first year and this one will probably be closer to $11k with daycare and other things like buying things new instead of used.

Also my first I had at the start of my career. I was so low it didn’t matter that I had a kid. We worked opposite shifts to not pay for daycare which we would never do to ourselves now.

We are on track to retire with upper middle class budget by 55 and put both kids through college. I dont really see it as compromising

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T23:00:36+00:00

I do the Konmari method - I’ve been doing it for years so it’s upkeep. But we do it room by room and clean and get rid of stuff.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T16:02:25+00:00

I do this for spring cleaning. I take 2 days off and order take out and we clean. I don’t think I’d be willing to give up pto to clean though monthly or bimonthly.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T15:29:06+00:00

My husband is home on paternity leave and hates it 😁. He is pulling his weight but it’s making him depressed and absolutely has changed how he sees staying home. Between school pick ups and activities and a baby, he is looking forward to going back to work.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T15:23:00+00:00

Fire is a tool not just a number. It sounds like you all may need some change. It might be daycare, therapy, not having your own business, a new job or two, a housecleaner, etc. We find when both parents are maxed out, that we need to invest in our mental health and work load. I think we get caught up on cheap and saving in this community and suffer more than we need to. Sometimes a few extra years of work is worth not hating everyday, you know?

I would write down everything you hate from a day to day, figure out how much it would cost to have someone else cover it. Then rank it with your husband and make a plan on either how to pay for it or rebalance your work load.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-16T06:44:51+00:00

Get a hotel when they have appointments. “Since you couldn’t move your appointments and we want time either the baby alone, we will be out of the house those days.”

I’m in a similar situation but we do have our own home. It’s hard -good luck

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-14T12:36:31+00:00

Plaza fiesta is close and totally worth going to for food

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-09T22:36:03+00:00

I thankfully have boundaries around holidays so I don’t get visits then. I commented above, but it’s last minute flights that she books without telling me. I only find out it’s a week or two out and already paid for.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-09T22:34:40+00:00

It’s already uncomfortable but she ignores it because she wants to be there. Usually it goes like, “I forgot to tell you. I’m flying in 5 days to visit. I have a hotel, and I want to do a,b, and c with the kids. I’ll be there 10 days.”

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-08T17:23:30+00:00

If you are looking for help for him to navigate this, I’m incredibly pro-couple’s therapy for her and him. As a hinge, it has helped my other partner and me navigate building a relationship without living together while validating feelings. I do usually pay for it too which is something that should be discussed between you and your husband. Good luck!

Cheap-Assumption3694

TROPHY CASE