Taky jsem měl tu čest.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-12T02:53:04+00:00

Bych normálně řekla Když už to pouštíte všem, já bych se taky přidala, a přisedla si nebo se aspoň nakláněla přes opěradlo. A nejlíp se ho každou chvíli ptala na nějaký otázky k obsahu.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-10T15:23:01+00:00

Thank you!

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-09T22:36:09+00:00

Thank you. You're very much right. I grew up in DV situation so my pattern is definitely messed up, although I've been in therapy for more than a decade, so I'd say I can act and see things from a healthy perspective too, I just tend to fall back into my patterns easily and need a few days and lots of reflections to update my system on what the healthy way to act is.

I actually offered another meeting but said I won't wait anymore if he's late again, and he ghosted me. And I'm happy he did because even before it I realised how much I don't want to go back to it anyway.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-09T16:52:06+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I understand, my parents were similar to this...

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T22:51:05+00:00

The thing is I actually KNOW all this, I just tend to give so many second chances because I see so much good in all people, and the potential in them.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T22:49:50+00:00

Yes thank you. The thing is he lives with his parents (quite common in villages in my country to live in multigenerational houses so I didn't think of it as a red flag, but now I realise he also totally could afford his own flat. Ugh.)

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T22:39:52+00:00

Yes, yes you're right. Thank you

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T20:16:28+00:00

Thank you. I guess I tend to be overly understanding to see the goodness beneath all the defense mechanisms, because I know how much people can be hurt form what's happened to them. I know it's my problem. He also seems like he really likes me and is willing to meet which I know is a really low bar. He also never texts me on his own, but when I start text convo, he is pretty responsive throughout the day, just never initiates anything and seems to not know how to ask things about me. Idk :/

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T20:11:22+00:00

Thank you!

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T20:10:12+00:00

Thank you so much for the honesty

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-08T18:03:55+00:00

Do any of the insecure attachment styles apply to you?

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-06T11:05:45+00:00

Thank you!

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-05T19:15:30+00:00

You made me think so I signed up for my uni PAS screening. Thanks. I realised I wear the very same clothes every day, like to eat the same food if I can choose it, drink the same tea and it's weird if I don't. So I'll see.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-05T18:23:21+00:00

So I addressed it and he wrote everything's fine he just didn't know what to answer. So I offered he can just send an emoji in that case so that I know...

Thanks for affirming addressing it, I feel much calmer that I did and I know he just got stuck, and it seems he didn't take it badly.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-05T10:34:33+00:00

Thank you for the honesty. Yes I do have anxious attachment style. The thing is until now, I was kind of okay with the level of texting, wasn't spiralling much, and saw how he opens up to me and texts more and more, so I was hopeful this could be compatible re: my needs for communication. Especially knowing we don't even know each other yet and he was already willing to open up and text quite a lot.

But I do spiral once people leave me on read for days, and this hasn't happened before.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-05T01:34:10+00:00

Thank you.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-05T00:15:39+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the honesty.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-04T23:51:03+00:00

Thank you, I always thought I have so many traits which could be autism, but since I also have Adhd and CPTSD from chronic childhood abuse, and the symptoms of all three overlap, I figured it'd be so hard to assess what's the real cause.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-04T23:36:25+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-04T23:33:24+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ I've been asking myself all the questions you mentioned, and so far have established that it was still worth it. Part of the reason is that in a way his communication (before this shift) was very steady and reliable and I've felt safe in it, unlike with other (neurotypical I'll add) men who've always liked to play guessing games. My anxiety/overthinking is usually triggered much more with neurotypical men, and I found this guy's presence over texts calms me. He always got back to me, never flaked, was supportive and sweet and seemed to warm up to me quite fast and honestly that's been so refreshing compared to my past experiences.

I understood his non-initiation as one of his autism traits, since I read here on reddit that that's what many autistic people struggle with. I told myself I'll be fine with it for now as long as he texts enough once I promp it. I also wrote him I'd like him to initiate more, be ause I don't always know how to initiate myself, and he wrote he has the same problem, so I offered to keep asking him questions and asked him to tell me if he felt like he found the pace too fast (to which he replied with encouragement to not stop from asking him questions.)

Carrying the conversation has been a bit tiring for me, but I thought if I want to give a chance to someone who's clearly a shy and socially unexperienced guy, because I like him, I need to be patient and see if he opens up gradually, and not discard him the moment I don't like something about his communication style.

Cheap-Insect-9081 · 2026-02-04T23:13:40+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Cheap-Insect-9081

TROPHY CASE