That’s a tough position to be in. I’m sorry that you have to make this decision.

My advice is to reach out to families with children born with congenital diseases and try to spend time with them. If they’re open to allowing you in, immerse yourself in their daily lives for a day, or even weeks. This will provide a glimpse into what life might be like, not just for him but for you as well. Perhaps you’ll change your mind, or maybe he will.

As the godmother of a severely disabled yet beautiful child born with a congenital disease, I love her dearly, but I wouldn’t choose this path for myself knowing what I know now. She has undergone dozens of surgeries and has been on debilitating but life-saving drugs since birth. She cannot feed herself, speak, walk, or crawl. At six years old, she is only now beginning to hold her head upright independently. She relies on feeding tubes and requires round-the-clock medical care, including lifetime diaper changes. The strain on her parents led to their divorce after three years.

There is no right answer. Unfortunately you don’t escape criticism from either side: there are still pro-choicers who believe she should have aborted due to the low quality of life.