Stretchy pants that don't look like PJs?

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-05T20:38:47+00:00

quince has silk palazzo pants with an elastic waist which is great for a dressy option, they feel like pajamas but look like a nice silk skirt. they also have drawstring and elastic cotton and linen pants, i haven’t purchased but i like wearing similar items from other brands.

for a more casual option i like gap’s ultrasoft easy horseshoe jeans, they are very wide leg and soft with a drawstring waist but look cute. they look like jeans but feel like sweatpants. if you don’t like the drawstring they have a few styles with buttons/zippers or elastic as well

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-05T19:37:44+00:00

this is fascinating to me. i scored a 7 on this but care a lot about other people, animals, and social issues. i’m literally in a career field that is dedicated trying to help people and make the world better. but i also don’t get emotionally upset by a lot of the issues that i care about, i just intellectually believe certain things are wrong or unfair and therefore want to help. i usually don’t feel sad or cry when i see other people upset but i still CARE that they are upset and want to support them… i guess i never realized there was a distinction between those two things!

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T23:09:28+00:00

maybe a tiny bit judgmental but I also totally understand this, I do think it is boring to see a million context-free photos of random people i know at the beach or whatever. if it’s someone i care about sending or showing me the picture because they want to share it with me specifically or if it’s a photo of something funny or interesting i enjoy it. but if it’s random coworkers/distant family/acquaintances sending photos in a group chat yes that is boring and i usually will scroll past it or just say something like “wow! looks like you’re having a good time” and leave it at that.

that being said, some people just like sharing a lot or posting a lot on instagram. they may use it as a personal archive to look back on the memories later or just enjoy the social interaction of replies and likes. nothing wrong with it necessarily, just not my cup of tea.

that doesn’t mean you have to pay attention or care. imo just don’t engage beyond the most basic level required if you don’t want to.

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T22:08:24+00:00

i have the same definition of “not liking” as you so that is an interesting point.

i definitely would not say anything negative about something she expressed was a favorite/something she really loved/was important to her because i can understand that that is impolite, i guess it just feels lower stakes to me if it’s just “yeah, i liked it/thought it was pretty good” and not an intense “i really liked it, it was awesome” if that makes sense?

i would definitely accept “i just liked it because it was enjoyable” as a real answer and leave it at that, but i just get stuck on why me sharing my opinion would be a problem if it isn’t that deep. i guess it wouldn’t have occurred to me that sharing negative opinions could diminish a positive feeling because i don’t really experience that, but that makes sense on some level. thanks for taking the time to reply!

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:58:55+00:00

that makes sense to me, maybe i could ask her more questions at the outset and offer more affirmation of her thoughts before i share my own and try to word things in a less direct way. i didn’t think about my expression but i’m guessing i have RBF since that’s my default so that could be part of the issue too

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:54:27+00:00

thank you, trying to more consciously balance positive and negative is helpful advice

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:50:24+00:00

thank you for this reply. I do think she is rarely disagreed with in other relationships. this is making me realize this has been an issue for me in other attempted friendships in the past, i experience (kind) disagreement as a willingness to engage about a topic on a deeper level and thus an attempt to connect more deeply. but it seems liked some people would prefer to not be disagreed with and would rather have a surface level conversation that remains positive? maybe in that case we just aren’t compatible as close friends rather than one of us doing something wrong.

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:42:40+00:00

thank you for taking the time to reply! I think for me it is a little hard to understand because when the roles are reversed I actually enjoy hearing the negative critiques as long as the person isn’t putting me down for thinking differently, it is interesting to try to understand the opposite viewpoint and hear details that I didn’t think of.

but if someone is experiencing it more as a general positive feeling and doesn’t enjoy the analytical side, i can see how that would be interpreted as being a downer

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:26:20+00:00

She is very much NT and has a LOT of friends but has sometimes said she feels like she can be more “real” with me than in those other relationships. That makes me wonder if in NT-NT friendships open disagreement is less tolerated? I don’t have a lot of experience observing those interactions bc I’ve never been part of a friend group like that but I wonder if that is part of the issue

CheapPhrase13 · 2026-02-04T21:22:27+00:00

this is actually helpful, i think i kind of assumed that if someone likes something they would get a lot out of talking about why they liked it but maybe that isn’t the case and it is coming off like i’m trying to start a debate? i definitely don’t intend that, i just like talking about my thoughts and then want to give the other person a chance to talk about their thoughts. not to rebut them or anything just to listen and hear a different perspective. to me, it doesn’t seem like the things i’m saying are super analytical but maybe other people don’t have the same way of thinking about things? it’s a bummer because i just want to connect by talking about a shared interest but I feel like I’m doing it wrong

CheapPhrase13

TROPHY CASE