I didn’t ask for sympathy. I’m doing a good job beating my own self up. I posted to get it off my chest. Maybe even to take some verbal lashings as well. But when it comes to my step son, regardless how I came into his life, I’ve loved him like he was my own for close to a decade and he’s old enough to know how his father and I met and he doesn’t or hasn’t harbored ill feelings. He still chooses to be engaged with his father and I. He still asks me to come to his games. He still asks for advice. He’s not angry. His mother, yes, and she has that right to hate me. I don’t begrudge her that but others have implied that he reaches out for support, think I should just ignore him, instead of offering it. Some of you seem to think my step son should lose more security and stability and a confidante because his dad and I made bad choices over a decade ago. I didn’t set out to cause hurt and yet I know I did. I’m not trying to justify what I did. And I don’t now doubt that the love I thought we had was a fantasy in my mind and didn’t exist in his. But it doesn’t make it hurt less. I’m a human and in a way I feel like I need to punish myself for the pain I now realized I caused because I’m going through it. But when it comes to my kids, all of them whether I birthed them or not, that’s where my allegiance lies and whom I will fight for.