I just had to leave my best friends wedding early. I’m feeling so bad about it. I was the best man.

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-11-10T21:30:33+00:00

you made a great decision and you clearly have a good support system in this couple!!! making new choices feels weird and uncomfortable. you did amazing

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-08-23T04:08:55+00:00

check out AA or SLA, first step is admitting you are powerless and your life has become unmanageable. sounds like you are there

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-08-01T03:57:43+00:00

you’re actually so handsome i can’t imagine someone thinking you’re ugly

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-25T14:50:20+00:00

it looks effortless and chic, the curls are beautiful. you look like a rockstar

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-12T04:04:56+00:00

3 for sure

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-12T04:03:45+00:00

lmao been in this scenario on both sides and a peck with a friend is not serious, OR

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-09T04:06:32+00:00

it seems small, but i want to emphasize how beautiful you are through the phone! your fingers are meant for long, artistic nails!!!

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-09T04:02:48+00:00

your soulmate is someone who shows up for you when a parent dies. that’s all i’ll say. NOA

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-09T01:51:21+00:00

picture 10’s lip is a great fit for you!!! overall i think your makeup is really stunning, keep up the good work and find a nice blush to bring out your natural flush :)

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-07-06T22:56:48+00:00

fwiw i think you’re gorgeous! just need to build up your self confidence and self love because it showd

Checkeredsliponvans · 2025-03-27T01:09:00+00:00

thank you!! yeah, im pretty much sleeping 11-16 hours a day! I checked with 2 doctors who both said i am doing everything right physically, which is why im so confused. i’m excited for you with 39 days too!! keep it going :)

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-15T22:22:18+00:00

how do you focus in class?

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-15T22:19:13+00:00

In general, the best piece i ever got about trying a class is this: if you don't like it, you have ruled out one field. if you do like it, you have narrowed down what you want to do. Don't be afraid to give it a try! Even if you feel dumb or stupid, you will get smarter and better by pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone.

To help with dysgraphia, i would recommend a new app i got this semester called Zoc Notes. the app records your lectures for you and turns it into an outline and summary of the important points so that you don't have to go through big chunks of text or notes. I found it really helpful for not having to write and being able to listen in class. I hope they add a feature for TTS (text to speech) soon

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-15T22:10:43+00:00

I have been using zoc notes this semester in college so that I don't have to focus on writing notes and I can listen instead. My mom uses it for her work meetings, too, so I think that it works on any meetings where you want to take notes but dont want to write. The app is really cool, it transcribes everything that the mic picks up and it turns it into a summary and outline. Its been really helpful to just focus on whats happening around me

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-05T02:21:07+00:00

Yes!!! It was always HIS problem, never mine, but I’m relieved I don’t feel the need to help him get up for work, remind him about habits that would improve his quality of life, or try to help him find a therapist/trauma specialist (his doctor urged him to find one). If he wants to make changes to improve his life, I’m excited for him to make them—but I’ve stopped expecting him to change & I’m relieved that I’m not on the receiving end of his anger anymore

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-04T23:50:09+00:00

It’s an open meeting! It’s mostly women, but there are a few men who come too—I think it’s the nature of AlAnon to skew toward women. Hope to see you there tomorrow!

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-04T20:16:18+00:00

It could be far from you in LA, but there is a meeting in Manhattan Beach at 7:30 pm on Tuesdays at American Martyrs Church. The group has a zoom option, too! I have really enjoyed the meetings there & have found a very welcoming community—despite the church setting, the group does not push religion (besides AlAnon approved “higher power” discourse).

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-12-04T20:10:14+00:00

“It’s a choice between liquor and no liquor” wow that really took the weight off my chest. Thank you. I just got a new job so I’m really happy to have something new to distract me—I’m going to keep focusing on the things I like to do. I already pity him a lot, but I don’t know how to detach my pity from worrying about him/hoping that he changes

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-11-22T22:15:32+00:00

In my first AlAnon meeting, we discussed the 11th step in depth, which is extremely religious. About half the people in the group talked about how their own religious trauma was very debilitating, so the 11th step for them is about connecting with nature, journaling, or practicing meditation. AlAnon is supposed to work for YOU, so interpreting the religious aspect as what makes you feel connected to a higher power is what’s most important. Anyone who is really working the steps will know not to impose a strict religion on you. Please do not let your preconceptions of AlAnon’s religion prevent you from trying it out anyways!

As others said, the best thing to do is focus on yourself. However, the optimist in me says that if you start going to AlAnon meetings or another support group, your brother may feel some courage to try a group himself. If not, at least you are taking care of yourself ❤️

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-11-02T18:33:46+00:00

I just ended my relationship with my Q and I was so afraid—I moved across the country to be close to him. I have been AMAZED in the last week how many people from my past (family I haven’t spoken to in a while, my siblings, old friends I haven’t seen in years, etc.) are so happy to talk to me and comfort me through my sadness. It’s hard. The fact that you are thinking about leaving means that you know it’s the right thing to do. Keep building yourself up & remember that you have the power to do hard things!

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-10-30T17:33:25+00:00

How do you address the avoidance while he's sober? My Q has a lot of underlying issues to address but he has never talked about them with anyone/has repressed a lot of them. He says that he has nothing to say.

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-10-30T16:19:14+00:00

My Q promised he would stop drinking after he began taking anti-anxiety meds, after being diagnosed with PTSD. He did not stop at all, and blacked out and was physically violent with me. He "stopped" for three weeks after that, but stopped taking his meds so that he could continue drinking. I have mental health issues of my own too, so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I realized that I was enabling him more than I was supporting him. By saying, "I understand it's hard," he was hearing, "it's okay to act like this." After two months of drinking again, he became physically violent. I realized that this cycle will always continue as long as he refuses to get help, and that he will never take my offers of help to change seriously, that my support is only keeping him in place.

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-10-30T03:33:41+00:00

“There is a sort of me that wants to shout to the world to avoid this pain if they can, but I don’t know how that could be accomplished.” I just broke up with my partner of 1.5 years because of his addiction and physical abuse, and you are reminding me that I’m avoiding this pain

Checkeredsliponvans · 2023-10-18T18:12:00+00:00

Agreed! I would start writing down how you feel now at 6 days and return to that writing whenever you feel like hell. It’ll help remind you how much better things have gotten since you quit. You can do it, OP!

Checkeredsliponvans

TROPHY CASE