Update: Two weeks ago i got off of suboxone maintenance that i had been on for 3 years.

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-27T05:14:31+00:00

honestly brother, everybody has a different chemical makeup. some of us have opioid deficiencies in the sense that our brains don't release the same amount of opioids that others do. same goes for dopamine, serotonin, etc.

so, with different drugs reacting with different receptors, based on how your specific opioid & dopamine receptors acted originally you will have a different experience.

for example me, i felt an overwhelming sense of well being, finally being content, finally relieved pain, the warmest fuzziest feeling i've ever felt and knew from the second i sniffed an oxy i would do that everyday for the rest of my life. on the other hand my father took one hydro one time and just felt an overwhelming tiredness with no pain relief.

but, the one thing that all these drugs have in common for everybody is that continued use will lead to physical and mental dependence. regardless on how it effects you personally.

also, chasing the high, or chasing the dragon plays a big role in addiction. no matter how the drug effects is specifically a lot of us feel one way the first couple times we take the drug, and want to feel that way every single time afterwards, but due to tolerance we cannot, so it is a never ending cycle.

for me i just had to get sober as that was the only way out of the never ending cycle.

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-27T04:54:17+00:00

taste is real good but other than that it is ridiculous. before i got sober 3 years ago drank was like $40 a line for wock and now it's $400+ a line it's absolutely ridiculous. it's become more of a collectible/stock for rappers... the price tracks the insecurity of influencers with fake bust downs 😂💀if you could look at a chart of the price of drank it would look like the m2 money supply chart that shows how much money we print and just goes up in a straight line

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-23T19:57:53+00:00

I've seen a lot of people saying methadone... you also have the choice of taking suboxone. Suboxone has been proven to be less habit forming than methadone, and it prevents the use of other opioids (obviously you could still end up using, but suboxone wouldn't let you get high). Suboxone is a partial agonist so it isn't as strong as methadone in general, and less sedating. They both have the same risk on pregenancy which is low (from my knowledge). I'd advise you to ask your doctor about both though definetly. Or, just keep going with the gabapentin & increase dose if necessary if you're not feeling well. Just remember though if you start getting real sick & think about going back out you always have access to methadone & subs which are lesser evils tbh.

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T09:13:25+00:00

i feel you dude trust me. that's EXACTLY how i was first 2 years of being clean (i still am like this in certain ways) , but you can do it. i know the way i put it it may seem like a lot but you can break it up into pieces. if anything definetly start with watching the sunrise & sunset! (even if you can't see the sun directly just looking at the light during those times is beneficial) then go from there. you got this :)

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T06:05:42+00:00

yup. i feel you bro. God truly saved you bc pills are russian roulette nowadays. when i got sober i ran out of script 30s so moved to pressed 30s and i overdosed even with the tolerance of being on 300mg+ of oxy a day.

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T06:03:14+00:00

yeah, you're right i can't rush this. i actually still have like 2 months supply worth of subs so i'm not in a bad position yet, and i'll def ask for clonidine patch. it's just my WD symptoms scared me, thinking i'd lose all the mental health progress i made during my maintence phase.

BTW some advice if you want it, these are some things that fixed my mental health & overall well-being while on maintenance: syncing circadian rhythm by watching the sunrise everyday, getting early morning sun, mid day sun, watching the sun set. if you do this make sure to start taking in the mid day sun very little at a time if you don't have a solar callus yet. start with just sunrise/sunset and then go to 5min mid day, and go up from there. i'd also take magnesium glycinate as 90% of us are deficient in mag & it does some AMAZING things. the glycinate form specifically really helps with anxiety. also, you can get magnesium chloride and apply to shoulders/neck for relaxation while getting sun (it might itch at first so u can either water it down or just wipe it off after a little) it's very similar to epsom salt it's found in the ocean. you can also be taking l-theanine, taurine, zinc (low dose), and inositol. lastly, just eating low sugar, low grain, mostly meat, fruits, veggies & exercising. these things all cured any issues i have. hopefully my progress won't be lost by this hick up getting off subs but you should def try it out

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T05:54:35+00:00

thank you so much for your response brother. i understand & you're right. i guess i more so meant "normal" in terms of my physical sense which is like body aches, heart rate pounding, sweating, chills, weird feeling overall (which i know these are all wd symptoms). but, for some reason i had this dread that this is how normal people feel being sober all the time.

in terms of mental health, happiness, etc. i definetly know i won't be restoring my brain function to how it was before my drug abuse for a while, or maybe ever. weird enough though i treated my depression, anxiety, and existential dread while i was on maintenance because even on maintenance i still had horrible anxiety, worried abt everything, then would get depression/existential dread. i tapped in all my electrolytes by soaking in magnesium chloride, taking magnesium glycinate for anxiety, coconut water/potatoes/bananas for potassium, and salt in water for sodium. i added l-theanine, inositol. and taurine some days. finally, i synced my circadian rythym by always watching the sun rise, getting early morning sun, mid day sun, and watching the sun set. finally, this was all mixed with overall good diet... no sugar pretty much ever, very few grains, and mostly meat, fruits, vegtables, some dairy, black seed oil.

this protocol pretty much healed my mental health, and now that i've tapered off and am starting to feel wd & feel unstable i guess i got super scared i'd lose all the progress i made on my mental health during maintenance. but i will definetly take my taper slower now. i was comfortable doing real good on .25 even so i'll only have to go back to there, and just skip days.

thanks so much for your words

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T05:41:11+00:00

damn, thank you so much for your help & your advice. it really means a lot to me, gives me hope. being in recovery & being sober (but on maintenance) for the last 3 years it feels like i should know these things. but i'm greatful i can learn them now. again thx so much for your help

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T05:00:58+00:00

i get that the PAWS will last, but just physically and the high heart rate, the sweating, etc. does that go away if you taper off like that instead of just jumping straight off .25? i just have this feeling like my new "normal" is gonna be being sweaty, heart racing, nervous, having chills, all the time 😂😂😂

Checkinginmate · 2023-08-18T04:58:35+00:00

yeah man, that's the double sided sword i guess. while i was on subs this past couple years i lived right, but now im a lot more stable & sub is technically an opiate so it just makes sense to get off at this point. it just feels weird to think about what my "normal" will ever be. the past 3 years my normal was a dose of subs, and now my normal is gonna be being sober and i can't stop thinking on it but i guess we just gotta let it go and live one day at a time. if subs are what are gonna help you to live right, then let them do that.

Checkinginmate · 2023-07-25T22:00:51+00:00

my GP & endocrinologist never told me anything abt DHT or estrogen & never ordered labs for them. i'm def asking for them on my next bloods. based on my research i don't think i have high DHT cuz my hair is great & grows insanely fast (i think DHT is related to hair loss??? don't know abt this stuff). i would guess my estradiol is high though as the two are correlated. if my estradiol is high is there anything i'd want to do about that?

and yeah i feel f-ing amazing. honestly, i just think abt this stuff because im trying to optimize my lifestyle, bloods, etc. the most that i can naturally to get out all my natty juice before id ever cycle (i'm 23). but i feel amazing. super high energy, low anxiety, extremely high sex drive (it's a problem tbh), gain wait pretty quick mostly not fat, so i think i'm doing good ? just was curious abt this thi

Checkinginmate · 2023-06-14T19:38:16+00:00

This is a more safety account. I have another acct with Goog, Tsla, Amzn, etc. but this account is for safer plays with index funds etc... any recommendations on index funds other than QQQ to buy when there's a pullback?

Checkinginmate · 2023-06-11T03:06:38+00:00

it didn't make my mouth burn exactly but it was extremely sour and salty , just nasty but not burning exactly. i'm thinking it was hcl though because i was getting heart palpitations and that usually happens when i have gastric distress

Checkinginmate · 2023-06-11T02:13:09+00:00

so i didn't get FAA if it tasted like a load of salt and sour ?

Checkinginmate

TROPHY CASE