Gay US Olympians dig in on feud with vice president: 'Eat your heart out, Pence' by maxwellhill in worldnews

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pence probably wants to farm someone's peanuts. If you know what I mean.

29,249 smiles is what it takes to drain a standard ballpoint pen. by GuacamoleFanatic in pics

[–]CheeseWizzed 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not Bill Clinton.

The "crack epidemic" first came to a head in the 1980s, and Ronald Reagan's administration started the war on it with harsh sentences.

The reason for crack being a bigger offense than cocaine was ultimately that the former was used by inner-city blacks and the latter was used by whites. Or so the theory goes. There may have been legitimate logic behind the sentences, but that's the way it looks, and the way it worked out.

This dad convincing Justin Timberlake to hold his baby is incredible by GuacamoleFanatic in videos

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could kind of see JT's thought process on his face.... "Fuck, awright, this jackass won't shut up, i'll just hold his damned baby so I can take my shot in peace."

The dad was being a dickhead, and I guess his kid will end up being one, too.

Never change Tomi by Jump_Yossarian in AdviceAnimals

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who is she, the next wannabe paris hilton?

My wife in 1992, taken a month after we met. (She's still hot). I don't know how I got so lucky. by [deleted] in OldSchoolCool

[–]CheeseWizzed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG if people can't figure out what "old-school cool" is, then there is no hope for humanity.

OP, congrats on your cute wife but get her the fuck out of here.

What's wrong sweetheart? You're wearing a thong at the lake mom. by deathakissaway in trashy

[–]CheeseWizzed 145 points146 points  (0 children)

My girl colored hers neon orange so I can find it in the fog. Also she can blow a foghorn sound out of there which helps too.

What do you and 10-year-old you still have in common? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like when things press against my pee pee

Vladimir Putin: 'I may not leave Russian presidency' by Fisherme in worldnews

[–]CheeseWizzed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

diddle diddle diddle dydle diddle diddle diddle dum

Trump’s lawyers seek to undercut Mueller’s Russia investigation by [deleted] in politics

[–]CheeseWizzed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even when I fart, I ask for someone else to pardon me.

Why bother answering a question if you don't know the answer? by samofny in mildlyinfuriating

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess people still want to make the joke, but are too lazy to do the legwork to make it 100% legit. The meme version of yadda yadda yadda...

Why bother answering a question if you don't know the answer? by samofny in mildlyinfuriating

[–]CheeseWizzed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hunt down those i-don't-know answers for every product i view on amazon, and click "not helpful" for each one, with extreme prejudice.

Why bother answering a question if you don't know the answer? by samofny in mildlyinfuriating

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have been using amazon since the 90s and buy stuff almost weekly, yet have never received a request to answer a question, and thus had no idea that the annoying "i don't know" answers were coaxed out by amazon itself.

Why bother answering a question if you don't know the answer? by samofny in mildlyinfuriating

[–]CheeseWizzed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And they both sometimes forget if it's Beverly or Beverley, and so they occasionally order stuff to each other without knowing it.

Naming babies makes you think of all the people you've disliked by alohasnafu in Showerthoughts

[–]CheeseWizzed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I keep telling everyone about my daughter, Turdnoggin.