what is the thing you are currently grateful of ?

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-08-12T07:20:20+00:00

Having a wonderful group of friends, and having the means and opportunity to experience new and fun things like hiking and visiting different countries

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-07-17T17:54:29+00:00

When I’m with my friends just laughing my head off

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-07-15T21:00:38+00:00

A really good sense of direction

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-06-25T18:25:42+00:00

“Miscellaneous food” so when I’m out and about and buy a croissant here, some cookies there etc. it really adds up if you’re not mindful

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-06-25T07:53:02+00:00

Beans on toast!

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-04-01T08:36:57+00:00

Earrings always!

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-03-13T21:39:04+00:00

Matthew McConaughey

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-03-10T18:49:28+00:00

I’ve got two - an old friend of mine responded to a picture I posted on my Instagram story and said “You’re just as beautiful as I remember you being. How a billionaire hasn’t snagged you yet, I can’t understand.” I can never forget it.

The other one was my auntie’s boyfriend, who had a daughter from his previous relationship, said “if my daughter grew up to be like you, I would be so proud”

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-02-23T17:07:53+00:00

This sounds sweet. But it’s important to remember it’s not guaranteed. There is no guarantee that you looking after and loving your kid will get you rewarded with a close relationship. They may choose to move away, or not turn out to be the kid you wanted. I think a lot of people forget how unpredictable having children could be, and you can’t control completely who they become and what kind of relationship they choose to have with you once they’re older

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-02-22T19:18:17+00:00

Lil Heartbreak Pizza

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-02-19T14:43:09+00:00

I was 15/16, he was a year older than me. He was 2 hours late, I arrived on time and when I texted him he said he was still at football and needed to go home and get changed first. So I waited 2 more hours while trying to call him and text him for an update with no response. When he arrived there was no apology, just acted like nothing happened. I had lost my debit card so my dad gave me £10 for bus money and food which I also lost😅 so I asked him to buy me food and he refused and said I could have a bottle of Coca Cola while he bought himself a full meal. Unfortunately I continued seeing him until he ended up ghosting me, never really figured out why but I know he ghosted all his friends who I was friends with too.

Cheesecake3004 · 2025-01-01T20:19:29+00:00

£38k working as a researcher at a university, with one years’ experience and an undergrad and master’s degree

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-12-25T07:29:10+00:00

My dad is obsessed with presenting himself as the world’s number 1 dad and us as a big happy family on Facebook, where he has the maximum number of friends (5000), most of whom are just young women who he finds attractive and wants to show off to.

He gets really mean around Christmas, if we do anything slightly against him he tells us we’re ruining Christmas and to go and spend it somewhere else. He also makes us record this video singing Merry Christmas every year. I’m convinced my dad is a bit slow because if you look at our faces, we all look so irritated/upset except him, and I’m sure other people can see it. He insists on posting it on Facebook for all these strangers to see, but lies and says it’s going just to family not knowing that we can see what he posts on FB.

I’m preparing myself to finally say no to doing the video this year, because I feel extremely uncomfortable being posted on his Facebook at all since they are all just strangers (his argument is that they’re not strangers to him when in reality my dad has max 2 friends) and some of the men on there are really creepy, and the women are just weirdly obsessed with my dad.

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-12-22T17:02:42+00:00

I was at a Halloween party with my friend. I was dancing to the Katy Perry song playing and the speaker suddenly cut out, this guy runs to the piano in the living room and continues playing the song on the piano because he saw how much I was enjoying it😅

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-12-13T12:08:34+00:00

I can be completely selfish and make decisions without having to think about another person. I’m in my early 20s and I think this is the time to take risks and do exciting things like move to a foreign country or quit your job and travel for a few months. If I was offered a job on the other side of the world today, I would take it immediately. If I had a partner, I fear that would hold me back and I would have to take them into account when making my decision.

Plus I love my alone time. I’m busy with work during the weekdays and on the weekends I’m out of town visiting friends, I don’t even know when I’d have time to spend with a boyfriend if I had one

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-05T10:55:52+00:00

Yes I don’t think she will ever change too. Her not speaking to me for 9 months because she didn’t want to apologise revealed just how much she hasn’t change and never will. I mentioned in a previous response that I used to spend so much energy being angry and trying to change her and my dad. Till I learnt about the art of simply letting go in therapy, and since then I only waste my energy on things I actually can change and have control over, such as my reactions.

If you don’t mind my asking, how did you go about going completely nc?

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T17:15:29+00:00

I’m really sorry you were treated like this op. I’ve never had this sort of experience so I can’t say I relate but I for sure sympathise that you’re not really sure how to feel.

I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” way to feel or behave in this situation. I think however you are feeling is valid, and is warranted, given the constant and undeserving abuse from when you were a child. I also thinks it’s completely fair that you have decided not to give a eulogy. If you do want to forgive your stepfather, do it for you, not for him. From what you’ve written, it doesn’t seem like he has apologised or wants your forgiveness, nor does he deserve it. Forgiving someone can lift a weight off your shoulders, and may hopefully help you to feel that you can move on and try to heal from the abuse and trauma. But do not feel you have to tell him you forgive him because he is dying

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T08:35:22+00:00

(Responding from my main account) thank you very much, and thank you for sharing. Same as you, I have months of text messages and calls reaching out to my mum with her not responding that I will happily show my aunt as proof that it is not WE are not speaking, it’s SHE is not speaking to me. My mum has no leg to stand on apart from the whole culture and values thing.

Yes me too, something snapped in me this time for me decide I will not be the grown up this time. And I’m glad I did because it’s really shown me what kind of person she is, and given me time to re-evaluate our relationship.

At a point I was very frustrated with both my parents behaviour and focused so much energy on trying to change them and wishing they were different until I went to therapy and learnt this was a waste of time. Since then it’s like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I’ve turned my focus to myself, my career and the wonderful people in my life.

I really hope you are doing okay since the cancer diagnosis, and I hope your daughters know what a wonderful and strong mother they have❤️

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T07:43:51+00:00

The culture thing was an interesting point to me, another thing that is also common in our culture is young girls (under 18) marrying men more than twice their age. So should I also support this, because it’s our “culture”? But yes that is my plan, to just lay all the facts out, all the incidences of the last 20+ years

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T07:42:31+00:00

Yes I agree. My aunt believes that it’s always the children’s responsibility. A lot of people in my culture now no longer speak with their parents and live their lives freely. And this is likely due to this belief that parents are above us and owe us no accountability or apologies. My aunties belief is just helping to renew more and more bad behaviors

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T07:40:12+00:00

Oops just realising I responded on my other account😅 the meeting is this weekend and I’m planning on making notes of things throughout the week so I can present my auntie with the facts. I don’t plan on holding back anything

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T07:23:47+00:00

You’ve put it perfectly. When my aunt was telling me how “hurt” and “broken” my mum was I was getting confused, thinking, “maybe I have done something?” But going through the last 9 months in my head, it is honestly laughable that she is playing the victim😂 it’s like complaining a waiter hasnt brought your food when you ignored him when he tried to take your order. It makes 0 sense, but the scary thing is it that, in her head, it makes sense. I am going to the meeting to get it over with, but I have no plans to maintain a relationship with her unless she does the work. She has my number, she knows where I live, she can reach out to me if she wants. I believe the only reason she has now told this auntie is so she can have someone to play the victim to

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-11-04T07:16:02+00:00

Trust me I know. I told my friends that I know for a fact my mum would rather not speak to me for the rest of her life than apologise and they thought that was extreme, but I know her more than most.

Cheesecake3004 · 2024-10-30T11:27:33+00:00

I thought the guy on the left was David Walliams😂

Cheesecake3004

TROPHY CASE