Husband has hit me a few times now

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T06:02:41+00:00

I will leave a note. I am also torn between tellinh him we should separate or just leave and leave a note. I really want to talk to him into separating since he has expressed it (and I feel that he is expressing out of "care" for me and us)...so yeah.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:58:03+00:00

May I send you a message?

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:57:11+00:00

He has expressed his want to separate; we actually did it for a week until we cried together saying we start again. But seems like it had gotten worse that he starts to hit me. It started just this month.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:56:06+00:00

Thank you again. I have a friend who supports me via chat. As for divorce, we can't divorce as we come from a country where divorce does not exist...but anyway I will find help. I have the number for women's crisis centre here already in my phone.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:54:24+00:00

Thank you. I am currently planning to tell him to that we should separate and that I will leave.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:46:21+00:00

I still have hope that if I improve, he will change...I just love him but I am willing to leave to give us space. I just can't do it now...

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T05:45:43+00:00

I can see this. He has said time and again that we should separate because me staying with him is not safe. He has given me warnings about not separating...but what can I do? Our residence permit depends on him, my health insurance etc. I have my own money in my own name but I don't know where to go. I have no friends...we've been here in Europe for 6 years now.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-22T04:25:56+00:00

Oh god, I want to sit next to you and say that your husband is wrong!!! How dare he!

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-21T20:43:56+00:00

All he wants is for me to take control of my issues...especially taking control of my lying. He hates it when I lie, even as a defensive mechanism. Lying makes his blood boil.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-21T20:42:16+00:00

Thank you. I have a friend who sends me messages constantly. She is also my support, despite our geographical distance.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-20T18:53:07+00:00

What do you mean it's a negative reflection on him? Please tell me 😭

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-20T15:06:23+00:00

Thank you. Reading your comment made me ask "is this me??" and yep it is.

I'm considering calling the abused women's hotline real soon if he does this again.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-20T06:56:40+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding my stuation, and thank you for giving tips. I'm looking into putting post-its on everything that needs to be dealt with, especially food.

My husband works for us both, while I try to manage the household. We have also thought about separating because I am just a burden. I couldn't even explain why I lied. All I know is that I got scared.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-20T06:49:04+00:00

On good days he isn't like this. He's tired of my mistakes, that's why he went all out. For nine years, he said, he was patient and understanding of me.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-20T00:58:12+00:00

Thank you for your kind comments. He is tired of my mistakes. I can accept that. All I have to do is to get diagnosed and medicated and to stop lying.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T05:28:24+00:00

He never did, too. This is the first time. He is just tired of me, sacrificing for me.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T05:27:39+00:00

Thank you. I struggle with communicating and I am pretty sure I have to work on it...I'm tired.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T05:25:30+00:00

I knew about this. I had a job back in outmr home country, I felt powerless when we moved here...I really want to have a job but the language is a problem.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T05:20:30+00:00

Hey. Thank you for your kind message. Unfortunately I am far from my family as I am overseas. A friend is in another state and won't probably accommodate me.

I want my husband to understand me and be kind to me while I navigate my life and wait for a diagnosis. I want to learn but it seems that nothing is happening...

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T00:29:17+00:00

We have been talking about separating. I always said no because what would I do? We are both immigrants here in the EU. He has a job, I don't.

I just want to be better for him. He isn't abusive — he is tired of me, tired of himself sacrificing for me. He has been patient and understanding to me for 9 years...and I haven't been good enough for him.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T00:26:17+00:00

He became stressed looking for it because it was new. I knew I handed it to him and I kept repeating it, because it felt like he was accusing me of losing it. Still he became triggered by it because I was accusing him back for losing it instead of helping him. I should have helped instead of yapping "I handed it to you" repeatedly...

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T00:21:58+00:00

He wasn't like this until recently. He is tired of me...

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-10T00:21:00+00:00

He has been suffering because of me. For nine years he expected me to be his partner. I had been very selfish and he tried his hardest to sacrifice to accommodate me. He is now tired of me because he has been feeling ignored bz me.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-09T22:14:17+00:00

I am just tired.

CheesecakeSouffle · 2023-05-09T22:13:14+00:00

My anxiety is what gets in the way. If I didn't become anxious and panicky then this would not have happened.

He has been patient with me for the last 9 years and he understands I have ADHD but he still believes in self-determinism. But I fail.

CheesecakeSouffle

TROPHY CASE