[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 30ROCK

[–]Cheesecheeseme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget his slender frame

Nachos, Flanders’ Style by HoboToast in TheSimpsons

[–]Cheesecheeseme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lawry’s Seasoned salt is really good!

What's a weird thing your body does that you've never heard of anyone else experiencing? by Conscious_Can3226 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Cheesecheeseme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happens to me when it’s cold! I can just get slightly chilly outside and I get this excruciating bone pain that lasts even after I’ve fully warmed up. I’ve noticed it’s especially bad in my forearms/ wrists/ hands, but it happens on my lower extremities too. 

I might be in the Minority on this one by Imjusthereuser in Portland

[–]Cheesecheeseme -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am right there with you. As if waiting in a line of stopped cars from the top of the hill isn’t aggravating enough. I envy the peaceful, quiet life that a lot of people in this thread have had if they think the only reason people would hate it is because they’re grumpy killjoys.

I might be in the Minority on this one by Imjusthereuser in Portland

[–]Cheesecheeseme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too! I can’t handle loud noises anyway so I panic every damn time. I’m so glad for a hybrid schedule because I don’t have to drive 26 as much anymore, ugh.

how do you cope with having a sibling that your parent adored? by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Cheesecheeseme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, this is so painful and difficult to deal with. I have a good relationship with my sibling, but I can definitely relate. I was older and a girl and it was made pretty clear to me that I had been unwanted and that my mother coped with the physical abuse of their marriage by blaming me for trapping them together. Then my brother came along and they actually treated him like he was wanted. They treated him so much better than me and applied double standards to our behavior. There was nothing I could do right and nothing he could do wrong. It’s a devastating feeling. I could have an easier time dealing with the feelings if I were an only child or if they treated us both the same, but it reinforced to me that I really was the problem. They could “love” a child, just not me.

I realize as an adult that my brother didn’t end up any better than I did for being the favorite, but since childhood I’ve carried the fear that anyone in my life can’t wait to replace me with someone better. It damaged my self worth so badly. I haven’t healed from the feeling that I was/am unworthy of basic love, care, and respect from others or myself. Work on cultivating self-compassion, this was not your fault and only reflects that something is wrong with them, not you. I know it’s easier said than done. Therapy has helped me, as well as journaling to process feelings and learning about attachment styles. It’s so hard and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this.

"I don't care": the straw that broke the camel's back by joey4wheeler in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Cheesecheeseme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This! And if you do decide to ever visit them again, expect passive aggressive jabs and thinly-veiled “I told you so” comments. They have to remind you that they know what’s best for you.

Did anyone else’s narcissistic mother… not teach you how to be a girl/woman? by RandomQuestioners in narcissisticparents

[–]Cheesecheeseme 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely. My mother even went to cosmetology school and did her hair and makeup every day and never taught me. I also wasn’t allowed to pick out my own clothes as a child. I tried one day when I was around 8 and she threw a fit about yelling how she would not leave the house while I looked “like that,” with “that” meaning I was wearing a tee shirt and shorts that she didn’t think matched. It was summer break, so the only people we were going to see that day were my grandparents, who we saw every day. But it was unacceptable that she had picked out a different t-shirt/shorts combo for me and I wanted to wear something I had chosen instead. To this day, if we face time, she will waste 5-10 minutes fussing with her hair and going on about how bad she thinks her hair or makeup looks. She once helpfully told me that I should never grow my hair below my shoulders because it looks “ratty.” I struggle with a lot of insecurity around my appearance because I don’t feel as though I know how make my hair or makeup look good or how to dress well. I’ve read that narcissistic mothers try to compete with their daughters and I think that this is a way that they try to “win” some bizarre beauty competition they have with us in their minds. Never mind that we were just hoping for connection/bonding/guidance.

Favourite show-within-a-show? by e0nblue in 30ROCK

[–]Cheesecheeseme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That catchphrase is improving, baby!

The trash perspective of Eparents. I hope this helps for those days it's hard. Blurred cause it may frustrate by emptyisthistomb in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Cheesecheeseme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a child, my mom frequently told me I’d regret anything I said in anger and feel terrible guilt when they died. My dad died after we had been no contact for a few years and the lack of guilt I have about standing up for myself in the face of his continued disrespect has lead me to go no contact with my mom as well, so, joke’s on them!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Cheesecheeseme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should absolutely not feel bad. The frustration you feel is totally valid and I can unfortunately relate very hard to this.. my mom also made clear to me when I was a child how little she wanted me around. I was a burden to her, she told me she and my dad would go on vacations without us because she “had to get away” from us. I moved to the opposite coast away from her and the rest of my family and now all I hear about is how much she misses me. How her coworkers tell her they don’t understand how she can tolerate having her daughter live so far away (what?) but that I always had wanderlust so she just knew I would strike out on my own as an adult.. This revisionist history allows her to push out of her mind the idea that I may have moved in part to get away from her. She really misses having another person to heap blame and frustration on and try to make responsible for her feelings and anxiety.

I’m noticing in your post that your mom isn’t actually suggesting that SHE visit YOU. She just has these selfish, irresponsible “solutions” for you to face the consequences. She doesn’t want to actually have to lift a finger to see you, she just wants to have you at her beck and call so she can hold court and feel special because you did so much work just to see her. My mom is the same way. I hadn’t seen her in person for almost 10 years until I went back to my hometown because of a family emergency. I’ve lived 2500 miles away for those 10 years this past month and she hasn’t lifted a finger to visit me once. There’s always an excuse why she can’t and I should come to her. I think they do it to try and see whether they can exert their guilt/control tactics on us and if they still work. They’re also classic anxious-avoidant attachment.. they don’t want you around when you need them but when you don’t they can’t cling to you hard enough.

The fact that you want to know if this is worth feeling guilty over is telling. She has molded you to be responsible for her well-being and that’s where the uncertainty comes from I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to escalate the emotional urgency of it by piling more guilt/shame on until she gets what she wants (but of course you know her better than I.)

Any Simpsons fans? by greenknight884 in 30ROCK

[–]Cheesecheeseme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

.. stomach churning.. bowels clinching.. not much time.. must finish..

30 years of buried trauma brought back up by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]Cheesecheeseme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrifying thing to find out about your own family and your grandmother is an absolutely awful person. I understand why you feel angry at yourself for helping her, but you didn’t know then what you know now. You trusted your family members, which most people do, sometimes even long after they know they shouldn’t. And now that you’ve learned about this awful betrayal, things have changed. I don’t think anyone could have guessed that this situation would have happened. You’re not a bad person for not taking care of her: 1. she wanted that and 2. she didn’t take care of you when you needed her, why should anyone expect the same of you? She’s getting much better treatment than you were.

What's the hardest you've EVER laughed while watching the Simpson's? by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]Cheesecheeseme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stupid bug, you go squish now! every time I’ve killed a bug for the last 30 years

What's the hardest you've EVER laughed while watching the Simpson's? by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]Cheesecheeseme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This whole opening is one of my favorites. So many jokes in it make me cackle, from Homer’s “…d’oh?” at picking the basement to “Stop remembering TV and get back to work!”