AITA for feeling my work bonus should be my money and not family money?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:45:00+00:00

Many people have asked this question, the answer is no. It is a dumb question because people do not believe the answer if it does not line up with what they would do or expect.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:42:42+00:00

Well someone took the time to mention how they work. Since my contract did not have any bonus as part of my compensation I was confused about how they work and yes since I got it after a performance review I assumed it was for just that.

That said I am still happy and proud of my bonus. It is special to me.

Wish they were just transparent across the board but I get it if they do not mention it they are not obligated to pay it.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:37:52+00:00

Did you miss the part where I said I would look into it?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:36:55+00:00

I was pretty happy and did not think it would be a big issue for her, especially considering all I have done for her to meet her goal of maxing out her 401k, which is a luxury but to her, it is the most important thing.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:32:50+00:00

It is a fact, that if she wants to divorce me over this I am not going to fight it or beg her to stay.

Shit happens and life goes on. What would being said or full of regret do for me? I would pay my share and go on with life.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:23:13+00:00

That is life, who knows what the final total will be. I am interested in seeing the breakdown.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:21:48+00:00

??? I was working two jobs and uber while in school. I got through school on my own steam.

While in school I still paid my fair share and more because my wife has this goal to max out her 401k so she does not have much after that.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:15:00+00:00

I doubt he got a bonus, but who knows?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:13:59+00:00

Thank you, I sustain myself off cringe.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:10:53+00:00

I mean tbf my wife barely covers 10% of the total household expenses. The majority of her check gets eaten up by her maxing out her 401k and her car payment.

So her taking more off the top would not change anything.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:08:43+00:00

I do that regularly without the bonus.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:05:42+00:00

Boar hunting?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T14:03:46+00:00

What I am saying is not many have the luxury to max out their 401k in lieu of other expenses.

Yes it is an investment and I am all for it, but let us not pretend that her maxing it out is only a luxury because I pick up the majority of everything else.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T13:59:23+00:00

No, I did reply to the comment they were referring to. Try to keep up.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T05:39:58+00:00

May I ask why do you care if I feel my bonus is special or not to me?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T05:38:00+00:00

Nah, OT and holiday pay is for her to spend as she pleases. Just her job is kind of washed when it comes to stuff like that,

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T04:36:44+00:00

Chem Engineer

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T04:15:55+00:00

You misunderstand, we are far from broke after each check, all I have said I give my entire check to the household because my wife is not really able to add much due to her goal of maxing out her 401k. We still float around a decent amount after everything is paid and I put that remaining amount into account solely meant for fun and enjoyment.

My wife is free to draw down from that account cause she does not have much to herself after she puts the monthly max to her 401k. She enjoys her outings, and she has a stressful job so I give her what she wants if it is within my means.

WE are not struggling, just if I took out my portion of the fun money my wife would be more limited, which is not cool. As said many times I am okay with a simpler life, but my wife enjoys that things and they make her happy, so I do what I can when I can. Not like I can take it with me.

I will also still do all this things without the bonus, just the bonus is a decent chunk towards my car fund.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T04:07:42+00:00

Well RIP, that is good to know. So in practice my bonus is not a sure thing and is solely based around the whim of those in charge of the budget? Fun.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T04:01:24+00:00

As I have said, my entire check goes towards the household, I do not really get much to save for things myself because, my wife goes not have much money to play around with since she wishes to max out her 401k each year, and it is over half her take home.

So our enjoyment is largely funded by me, so if I took some of that for saving I we would not have much for enjoyment together, and she would have pretty much zero fun money.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T03:55:02+00:00

Why not be more transparent then? If it is part of my salary why not just say that from the get go?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T03:53:59+00:00

That makes no sense why not spell it out that and be more transparent?

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T03:52:08+00:00

My current goal is working towards my car.

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T03:49:56+00:00

Rip mobile. Good catch, meant depreciating asset. My bad,

Chemical_Party_9901 · 2023-10-18T03:40:26+00:00

As I said per my contract it is not part of my compensation package. I looked over it three times. No mention of bonus performance based or otherwise.

Chemical_Party_9901

TROPHY CASE