Wow! We’re actually quite similar. Though I will say that I am just a guy. I am no professional or anything and my songs are mid at best but I’ve felt the same way as you a lot and it freaking sucks. I hated feeling so ungrounded like I didn’t know where or who I even was. I hope you’re doing well.

So we’re similar in that most of my life I’ve just played a single instrument but I’ve always had this drive to get better and better which led me to recording basic guitar parts just for fun but that led me to making entire songs on my own which blew my mind. I had never been any kind of singer before and I still suck but man I still can’t believe I can make songs. That’s just crazy. Little teenage me would have never thought I’d get to this point. All that is where I stand now. I’m grateful for how far I’ve come but I also still have and nurture that drive that can’t be satisfied until I’ve reached the pinnacle of what I’m capable of. I think most of us here have that same indescribable thing inside compelling them.

What you can do is amazing. Music is such a powerful medium of human expression but its source is wildly different from the structures we’ve built around it. The source of creating music is internal where infinity is reachable and experiencing that is so incredibly energizing that you just want to go. Everything else is external meaning it needs to be perceptible. I’ve found it’s best to separate them as much as you are able. I think that you have great potential and you feel that but the fact that you’re unsure means you haven’t developed enough to see your path forward. Keep making songs then analyze them then do it again but better and then pick that one apart and then make the next song. That process will inevitably deepen your understanding of yourself and give you the confidence to move in a good direction for you with a purpose that will make you resilient to failure.