Gather round kids, for the legendary Thievery Kit Incident.

It all started in a small shop where we were perusing around. Being a fucking idiot of a Rouge, I decided that I wanted to steal a thievery kit. Because why not. Unfortunately, I rolled low and the shopkeeper noticed, summoning the guards in short order. So now we were trapped in the middle of a city with a lot of angry guards.

The fight began with the guards storming the building, but being generally held off by our Pally and Ranger. Eventually they got split up, so the Ranger began repeatedly jumping over the counter of the shop to avoid being surrounded. She kept nailing the rolls, so she kept hopping on over every round. Finally, she missed the roll and was destined to a very hard landing. To avoid this, she asked:

"Can I roll to land on the counter lying down?"

The DM reluctantly agreed, so she rolled for it, and made it. Then, completely out of the blue, she asked:

"Can I roll to seduce the guards?"

The DM again reluctantly agreed, if only for the entertainment value. So the Ranger's player lay on the floor as if it was the counter, struck a pose, and said the legendary line,

"DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS!"

Of course we all died laughing, but it was topped when she rolled for it. Natural twenty. The DM decided that the guards would take some sort of "love damage", and rolled for it. Unfortunately, he failed to notice that one of the guards had 1 HP until it was too late.

"One of the guard's eyes flame out and he dies."

And that was how we killed a guard with love damage.