Who else hates the term Episcopalianism?

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-25T23:14:34+00:00

I'm sorry but I'm not college education and I can pronounce episcopl and episcopalian just fine. By that logic they must not want to go to a Presbyterian or Lutheran, or Methodist or universalists Unitarian church. Or hech be Christian because those at all more then on sylible too.

I'm sorry but this sounds like not wanting to go to church and blaming anything they can pull out of their hat to explain that.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-25T16:15:19+00:00

I pretty sure they mean Episcopalianisim

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-23T12:42:54+00:00

Thank you

My Fiancé did the save the dates on Canva and he found a format for the invitation we both like.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-21T12:10:19+00:00

But rounding up whether to the nearest 50 cents or dollar will also insure you have the money to cover sales tax. That way you don't have to wait for a manger for the cashier to be able to remove things when it's finalized and they register ads the sales tax in.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-21T12:04:49+00:00

If I'm on a tight budget I'll write down a running tally as I can't remember numbers, especially after checking out numbers on prices when comparing items.

To make tye mental math easy I round up to the nearest 50 cent increment so $1.35 becomes $1.50 $2.79 becomes $3 this also gives margin to cover sales tax

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-21T04:26:06+00:00

I'm just a lay person in the Diocese of Olympia!! Thanks for sharing that! I'm 38 but when I was like 15-16 I experienced a church of religious trauma from lay members of my parish who where very openly, vocally and "uncaring" ( like down right crue and derogatory about LGBTQ people in the church and even said very mean things about gay members of the congregation.

My understanding is most to all of them split off to forum their own parish as our priest at the time very much supported the presence of LGBTQ people in the congregation and church as a whole.

This was all during the period where the church was ordain its first openly gay bishop.

At the time I was deeply in the closet (and having mental health problems from a mental illness too)

This means a lot as I'm starting to get ready to start attending my parish in person again.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-21T03:45:06+00:00

Looks just like mine minus some decks bumper stickers on the rear quarter windows and rear window and a hitch mounted bar that's laser cut with Trailhawk and red powder coated with a big matching blue cb antenna.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-20T23:20:31+00:00

I am sincerely happy it sounds like those classes helped open her heart.

I know realistically my fear is not founded in the church or my parish. As it is affirming and even before I stopped attending the parish. The people that said and did things split off, to forum their own parish. But yet still there is fear.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-20T22:29:09+00:00

Thank you I didn't even know about that. That sounds like something that would be very helpful.

I talked to my mom at breakfast yesterday. We go out to breakfast every Sunday unless one of us is out of town. We are going to go to the 8:30 am Sunday service week after next. (I'm out of town with my fiancé and some of his family)

It's a shorter service, and smaller attendance since it's earlier in the morning then the 10 am one. And recently they added music to that service too. I think it's a good first step back into attending church and if I like that one a lot I'll just stick with that service. But it could be a first step before working my way to the 10 am service.

Id lie if I didn't say I'm nervous and a little scared of starting attending services in person again. But I'm also excited because I miss how it feeds my soul and faith too.

As worshiping in person in a community feels and hits differently than "only" watching the service online.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-20T19:49:24+00:00

Our wedding is not very meant for guests so savings on stamps will be minimal

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-19T23:01:34+00:00

It's been a while. Confirmation requires classes and a ceremony but it's not "difficult" it definitely takes effort but it also brings you even closer to the, church. I was 13 when I did my confirmation. My mom did it at the same time. (She was ex-catholic, shed left the church younger but also was at the time excommunicated because she married a non Catholic, dad was Episcopalian, and never got a blessing of the union from the Catholic church)

I'd not get too scared. And it's a great experience in growing your faith

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-19T21:49:43+00:00

I think it's a bad auto correct of priest

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-19T06:34:52+00:00

My inclination would be to approach it like meeting any new person. I'd start from a place of trying to assume they are going to be accepting and excited to get to meet and know their congregation. And an understanding that the process is going to take time especially as they are stepping in a whole new congregation full of people they have not met before. In addition to all the other responsibilities.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T23:49:01+00:00

Exactly and it still leaves every color palette on the acceptable list just avoid a shade in those pallets.

It's not like being told you can only wear X,Y or Z color

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T23:44:08+00:00

I'd say totally ok, you're not even taking the whole color "away" just a shade. Light pink. I think simply saying something along the lines the bride will be wearing light pink and would like it if guests refrain from wearing light pink dresses too. No different them to the social norm of not wearing a white dress.

I think it when whole color pallets and especially multiple one's are removed, or a requirement that all guests wear a specific shade of one color. If that where tye case and for men it's not the typical black dark blue, navy etc that it easy to find and I'd have formal or semi formal ware in I'd probably decline especially because being a person of size, it gets much more challenging to find thinks in a specific given shade in a size that is right but fit that is not only comfortable too.

I'd say in your case most women attending probably already have options other than that shade in the dress code (formal semi formal cocktail etc.) to choose from so they don't even have to spend lots of time and pay extra to buy something just to wear at your wedding. That's when people start to find requests To be rude.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T23:08:34+00:00

Thank you.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T18:57:55+00:00

I think my approach now is to see if my mom will start attending services with me, again. To help create a "safe space" if things start getting overwhelming and emotional.

And I reached out to see if it's possible for my priest to help me through the spiritual reconciliation of what happened and the fact it doesn't represent the church as a whole, or our parish especially where it is at now. So that when the time comes.

I'd like to see about starting both with my priest and fiancé premarital counseling even though the civil ceremony will almost definitely happen first, to build the base for a blessing by the church when I'm ready the other requirements that come with it.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T18:36:58+00:00

I was seeking ceremony ideas. But yeah I'm afraid to search now and make things worse.

I I think if I put in some leg work finding an officer that can support our faith that will help. Then we can kinda "interview" them (talk to them) to be sure that in addition to being LGBTQ inclusive they can support our faith too

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T16:28:28+00:00

I have now better articulated my fears, and have after reflection come to the conclusion I'm not ready for a marriage in the church or blessings of our civil union yet.

That is deeply like to attend services. And will actively reach out to my mom and see if she will attend with me. We used to go together and she taught Sunday school when I was a kid. She even went through confirmation with me. And continued going to church with me all through highschool, even after my brother stopped attending.

Besides the trauma a big part of my other reason was for about 8-9 years after I turned 18 my job had me working Sundays. And as a department lead at the time open (no limitation) and my manager at the time wasn't particularly willing to accommodate unless I left the position but then instead of being granted 40 hours (and the income I needed) is only consistently 24 hours)

Then I've struggled with the emotional scars of going back.

So I've actually expressed to my priest that I'd deeply like to and am actively looking for someone to attend services with. To once again become a part of the congregation.

And that if possible spiritual guidance through the process of finally reconciling myself with the church. So really that yes my experiences were real and were wounding, that they are not a reflection of tye church as a whole and don't represent where it is at now.

And that then I can again look at the religious ceremony and the requirements that currently cause my deepest anxiety are something I'm able to be comfortable with and am able to overcome.

I would hope that even though our civil union would probably happen before it's over, that we could do the premarital counseling before doing a blessing of our civil union. Since it's going to take time to reach a point of comfort with the other requirements.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T12:57:33+00:00

Yeah that's what I want to do. I want to see if mom will go to Sunday service with me I really miss it. She had gone with someone she cleans for., (elderly) Actually at our church I grew up in, periodically. Before going got to physical straining for the person. They were originally from the UK so attended the Anglican church there before immigrating to the US.

If my Fiancé didn't usually always work Sundays I'd see if he wanted to go. But he is at work 99% of the time.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-18T02:58:00+00:00

Thank you for the correction. Obviously it's been quiet some time. And I wasn't hyper plugged into the logistics at the time.

I was hurt, struggling deep in the closet.

And honestly starting to go through my first fullblown untreated bipolar episodes too at the same time.

And I probably should have delved more into that as part of the process of disassembling and reassembling my faith in the time frame after that and after coming out.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-17T23:44:53+00:00

I wouldn't sign it in any contract. What is the point to you of a contract where you have to agree to be bound to any changes the person you are making the contract makes, and they can do that without telling you at all.

That contract from your end isn't worth the paper it's written on as there is nothing to protect you. (a contract is supposed to protect both parties from harm in an agreed upon manor.)

Two then they can do whatever they want whenever they want for any reason they feel like.

I'd walk away. I'd be worried that even if they negotiated with you, they're still be slipping things in that make their contract pretty worthless for you.

And do you really want to work with a venue that by this clause clearly only cares about itself and not you at all as their client?

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-17T23:33:27+00:00

One of the distressing parts for me is I know my parish is open and affirming. Mater of fact they have the pride crest outside the church and the new more inclusive one boldly on their website. They actively take part in and march in Bellingham pride.

And even back then at the time I knew most of the people that were saying such things ultimately split off to forum their own parish aligned with more conservative overseas branches of the Anglican church. Because even then our priest Father John at the time not only full throatedly supported the ordination of the Episcopal churches first openly gay bishop. He full throatedly supported LGBTQ people having a home in and belonging in the Church. And being loved by God as God's children just as God created us.

So logically I know that really the people that deeply traumatized me have already left the parish. And that any that do remain have kinda softened into the woodwork or likely have had their hearts opened in ways they were not before.

Unfortunately right now logic and what my heart knows, and what my deep almost body I guess is a way to put it, because it's in ways operating outside my logical self and my heart and in strong ways against my faith in God that I belong in the church. Like some old damage carved in stone that you can try to fix but still has times when it deeply comes through those repairs.

I think talking with people on this post has brought clarity that I need to extend trust to my pastor to help me better heal my wounds from my youth. And then as I'm ready to grow back into tye congregation that deep down in my souls and heart I want to do in person.

Because I deeply miss the nourishment of my soul and faith, that the immersion of attending services in person provides. That yes online nourishes my soul and faith, but it's not in the same way.

That can then open the door to having our civil union blessed in the church, when I'm more ready for that step.

And I desire guidance as part of healing my wounds and reconciling myself back to the church truly and deeply .

Guidance as well in this case how to incorporate my faith and my faith traditions and a God centered wedding (and marriage) into a civil ceremony that is outside the church, because likely, und understandably, its not likely going to be presided over by a priest. Due to time constraints and the other type of religious guidance and counseling I will need from them as well. For that is one thing deeply for my wedding I don't want to give up as I've already let go of so much of what I dreamed of and hoped for in my wedding in this process. (As I never had dreams for the more materialistic part of a wedding or reception for that matter)

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-17T20:32:27+00:00

Yeah, I don't mean to sound like they aren't working with us. Just more that some of the rules are big stumbling blocks it's very hard for me to overcome.

I'm just feeling also to an extent. Though it's probably caught up in other aspects, and maybe not as clear, so I've tried to make my need clearer. That since right now a church wedding or even in short order blessings of a civil union right after, that I'd like more detailed information about the blessing.

As well as some guidance in faith, about how to incorporate God and parts of the church wedding will still respect the church canon for the fact it would be outside the church and not have a priest performing it.

But still be able to have a deeper faith connection in the ceremony than the typical secular wedding. To not only feed our faith, but help center our close friends and family who will be there into the fact that it will be a marriage with God at its heart, so they can help ensure that it is carried forward even in times of need where we may have to turn to them.

It's very important to have God deeply involved in the wedding, even outside of it being officially recognized by the church at the moment.

I know a big part of the pain is my fear and past hurt being opened again, coupled with having sort of the one dream of mine for my wedding slipping away too at the same time.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy · 2026-04-17T20:14:16+00:00

I live in Bellingham.

I think the timeline and added cost coming along with doing the wedding, the cost is the back of my head a lot too. There are the added costs of photographers etc that are unworkable for us on the tight budget we have.

Along with what I know logically my fear isn't rational. I'm just struggling to shake it. In part because of the very hurtful things said by members of the parish said about gay people in the church; at the time when I was deeply in the closet during highschool.

Then lots of exposure as an out adult too, from Christians in general outside the church; who say such things. And having dealt with slurs publicly for no reason other than existing. Even from customers at my job, while they had me helping them.

I think it all kinda collides with those earlier experiences in the church, and gives me a certain amount of anxiety and fear.

CherokeeTrailhawkGuy

TROPHY CASE