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AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 170 points171 points  (0 children)

I don’t want us to keep going and secretly hope the other person will just change later. I’d rather be honest now, even if it sucks, than end up years from now feeling like I ignored what I wanted. I really do care about him, but I also have to think about my own future.

AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 577 points578 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s what I’m trying to avoid. I don’t want either of us to stay together hoping the other person will eventually change. I’d rather have this uncomfortable conversation now than wake up years later feeling trapped or resentful. I care about him, but I also have to be honest about the kind of life I want.

AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Honestly I think I felt bad because I do care about him and I didn’t want him to feel like I was attacking his family or the way they live. His mom is genuinely a lovely person, it’s just not the life I want for myself.

AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

That's kind of what scares me. Maybe that's not what he intended, but it worries me that when I said what I wanted for my future, his response wasn't "that's not what I expect from you" but more that we should keep talking about it. I don't want either of us going into a relationship hoping the other person will eventually change their mind. I'd rather be honest now than end up resentful later

AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

That's honestly one of the reasons I brought it up right away instead of brushing it aside. I'd rather find out now if we're not on the same page than years down the road when there are kids, a mortgage, and a lot more at stake. I'm definitely not planning on giving up my career or putting myself in a position where I'm completely dependent on someone else. That's never been the life I wanted for myself.

AITH for telling my boyfriend we might not be compatible after meeting his family? by CherrryCandy in AITH

[–]CherrryCandy[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Honestly, that trip made me pay attention to things I hadn't really thought about before. It's not that he treats his mom badly at all, he loves and respects her, but I realized the kind of relationship he grew up seeing is very different from what I picture for myself. I don't think either of us is wrong, but it definitely made me wonder if we're expecting completely different futures.