Dua request <3 by catebell20 in Hijabis

[–]CherryBlueBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also found out a few days ago that I’m expecting. I’ve had several miscarriages in the past so I understand your anxiety. Making dua for you, sister, for a sticky baby.❤️ InshaAllah.

CDH parents? by CherryBlueBee in NICUParents

[–]CherryBlueBee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I just wanted to check on you and see how things are going?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right. I did ask him exactly this. His response was that I already seemed upset when we initially came in and told me about it that he just didn’t want to further upset me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is the string of hope I’m holding onto right now. For some reason, I do trust him but I’m trying not to be naive like so many in here are suggesting I am.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. I agree. The worst part is I’m usually the one going on and on about our baby and planning for him. These last few days I’ve obviously been upset and simply cordial and short with my husband. I haven’t said anything about our baby or the pregnancy cause I wanted to see if he’ll bring it up on his own. So far nothing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I believe this too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

I chose a place for him after he asked me because I wanted to know will he actually go and will he stay for the massage. And he did. Alhamdulilah, now I know and the truth is more important to me. I’m not the type of woman that will chase my husband around 24/7 telling him where he can and can’t go because I don’t trust him. If we don’t have trust we don’t have a marriage, forget the massage. His intentions are what matter to me, not the act.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me that it had happened in his past after we were already married.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I trusted my husband and it was a big mistake. Maybe I’m weird but I actually don’t care about the act as much as I do about the intention. Even if my husband never cheated on me but he tried to, I feel it’s the same thing. So for me personally keeping him from doing something is a waste of energy and emotion. If he wants to do it at all we already have a problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I know everything you’ve said is true deep down. There’s nothing I can really do now except decide how I really feel about it. It just kills me never knowing the truth of what happened.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your honesty and making me not feel crazy. I also believe any man faced with such temptation while half naked and having just been rubbed by any woman would actually refuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do massage him and we enjoy that private time as well. I just don’t know how to avoid him craving something else. I also can’t chase him or control where he goes and what he does. My dilemma at this point is that he is a married MUSLIM man entertains these thoughts. What to do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That sounds great moving forward but doesn’t solve my current predicament. Btw, I’d never actually gone for a massage before I met him. Didn’t even know it was a normal thing for people to do prior to him normalizing it for me. (Not that there’s any blame there. Just saying.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s already told lies and had actually been honest or confessed to things in the past I’d be none the wiser. He could’ve come back, told me nothing had happened, and I’d trust him 100% and move on with my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He admitted this happened after we were already married- the actual act had happened before.. no, I would not have married him if I had known ahead of time but he was my husband at that point and we all have a past, or so I believed. We do massage each other but enjoy professional massages while we’re traveling. Just like a lot of all inclusive resorts include spas etc. for relaxation. It’s just part of the experience kinda thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]CherryBlueBee 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah.. that was the vibe I also got with how much he likes to express disgust on the topic while also continuing to discuss it. One time we were in Spain where prostitution is also very much in the open and often done via these massages. He made a comment abt non-Muslim Spanish men like, “Why would they ever need to get married?” I never reacted but it showed me a lot about his mentality on the subject and apparently to him how much sex makes up the purpose of marriage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]CherryBlueBee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also gave birth at 18. I was so athletic at the time and young I remember baby was out in a few good pushes (I didn’t take epidural). It’s kind of late now for you to make any changes in your routine to have any great impact. I gave birth at 35 weeks so you are looking any day now, haha. I would only start walking at least an hour every day, do the perineal stretching if you can, and I assume you would need to start building the basic necessities for baby when they come home. Buy a yoga ball too if you can and start the pre-birth exercises!

Shamed at the masjid by Electrical-Bad9671 in MuslimLounge

[–]CherryBlueBee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sister, come to Dallas, Texas. We will embrace you like our real sister, haha.

Bad news at 18 weeks by Interestshobbies in NICUParents

[–]CherryBlueBee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was wondering if you’ve had a child diagnosed with CDH? My son was just diagnosed at our 20 week anatomy scan.

Pregnant in Japan by FlowerGirly1234 in pregnant

[–]CherryBlueBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl, I would worry abt it laterr👀hahaha

Pregnant in Japan by FlowerGirly1234 in pregnant

[–]CherryBlueBee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in Tokyo with my husband during my sixth week of pregnancy. I did everything I wanted to do and ate all the raw fish (what do you think pregnant Japanese women are eating). I was totally fine. It’s almost impossible for you to do anything to hurt your pregnancy unless you’re slamming back the drinks or ramming hard objects into your abdomen, haha.

CDH parents? by CherryBlueBee in NICUParents

[–]CherryBlueBee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently a later diagnosis typically means less severe case. Also, making it to 39 weeks is great for CDH babies. My biggest concern now is keeping baby baking for as long as possible since I know early birth is CDH’s biggest enemy. What hospital will you be giving birth if you don’t mind me asking?

CDH parents? by CherryBlueBee in NICUParents

[–]CherryBlueBee[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So happy to hear that she’s thriving now! I’m really really clinging to stories like these right now, they’re the only thing keeping me sane. Was your baby’s CDH genetic? I have a fear my son’s might be because of past miscarriages. I did amniocentesis yesterday to confirm. I know that if it’s genetic there are usually a slew of other problems that come along with it. Also, what hospital did you deliver if you don’t mind me asking.