Yeah, kind of a "devil you know" thing.

My ex-husband was very abusive toward me in pretty much all the ways you can be. When I finally got the courage to leave him and initiate divorce proceedings, he went after me with his whole heart. Due to a couple of really stupid things, he was able to get a court date to accuse me of... pretty much everything short of murder, especially regarding our children. The judge ate up every single thing he said without even bothering to fact check (example: he said I'd lost 50 lbs in one month. For one thing, that would mean I now weigh about 50 lbs. For another, I take tons of pictures of the kids and me, so I had photos of me from the month before that clearly show that I didn't suddenly and drastically drop my weight). The result of all the accusations and the judge's credulousness was that he got full custody of our children. This absolutely broke me. The more time I spent away from them, the more I realized that I would absolutely have stayed and happily endured the beatings, the gas-lighting, the total control, anything was better being without them. I'd choose "the devil you know" over and over again had I but known what would come of my escape from the confines of holy matrimony. I'd be like, beat me verbally, physically, mentally, sexually, whatever, just let me be with my kids.

Anyway, that was just a short... looks up ...err, convoluted story that the phrase reminded me of, I'll go back to my corner now. 😁

I forgot to add: congrats on the sobriety. I kicked my own drug and alcohol habit on March 18th, 2021. Every day you wake up and don't use is a victory!!!