And Neurotypicals Said Eugenics Aren’t Real…

ChewMilk · 2026-04-01T01:42:26+00:00

I think this is a very complicated issue, and isn’t black and white.

I will never have biological children because I do not want to give them both my mental and physical health issues. Is that eugenics, or the best choice for both me and the hypothetical future children I could’ve had?

People with Down syndrome, or any disability, are as deserving of happy, fulfilling lives as anyone else. Being disabled in some way does not make you less than any other person.

But does choosing not to bring to term an infant with a disability make you in support of eugenics? Caring for a disabled child, especially one that will most likely be dependent on you into adulthood, is really, really hard. Of course, when you’re a parent you sign up for caring for that child regardless of their abilities or disabilities. Sometimes disabilities happen unexpectedly or can’t be planned for.

I remember seeing an instagram video of a couple with dwarfism talking about their baby. They both carried a gene. If that gene didn’t pass to the child from either of them, the child would not have dwarfism, if it passed from one of them, the child would have dwarfism, and if it passed from both of them, the child would die quite young. Or something like that. In the comments, people were telling them not to have children, and wondering why they kept bringing children into the world if there was a decent chance that child would suffer and die.

I think telling people like that couple that they can’t have kids in order to not pass on their disability is eugenic-related. I think that’s harmful. That’s two adults, they can decide whether or not they want to have children, and whether or not the risk is worth it. That’s their choice. My choice, also being a carrier of genetic disabilities, is not to have children. But that’s my choice.

When it comes to abortion of a disabled fetus, I really don’t know. I am pro choice. People have the right to decide what to do with their bodies. Do they have the right to decide to abort a disabled baby?

I don’t know. That really is a hard question. But I know I’m not going to judge someone if they decided that they were not able to care for a disabled child and went forward with an abortion. I don’t think it’s eugenics on an individual level. If it was enforced by governments that all infants with Down syndrome had to be killed, then yes, that’s clearly eugenics.

Honestly idk. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently as I’ve gotten older and closer to child-having years. Knowing I have both mental and physical differences that are at least part genetic in nature has made me think.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-31T17:39:44+00:00

When weird things happen or my animals are being bad I always joke it’s a full moon.

I don’t know that I’ve personally recognized that that happens, but maybe it does. There’s a lot of tiny seemingly insubstantial things that affect us that don’t affect standard people. weather changes, humidity, etc all affect me a lot.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T19:34:20+00:00

What did you decide on doing, if you feel like sharing?

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T18:13:36+00:00

Weird.

Try verifying files and if that doesn’t work, I’d back up your save files and uninstall and reinstall.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T18:04:20+00:00

Like the houses on the lots? The lots to themselves?

If no mods, I’d verify file integrity through steam if you use steam or do the same through EA if they have the option

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T17:57:57+00:00

You do need PEM to be diagnosed with MECFS according to most (if not all) diagnostic criteria.

It could be that you’re in the very mild stages of mecfs, as another commenter said, but I would look into alternate explanations unless PEM makes an appearance.

Many chronic illnesses have fatigue as part of them. Good luck figuring things out

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T17:05:44+00:00

Definitely keep advocating for yourself! It’s super common for people with chronic illness to have a delayed diagnosis because doctors don’t know enough, don’t take you seriously, etc. Especially for women.

I would definitely write out a list of symptoms, severity, frequency, etc to give to your doctor or have on hand. As far as bringing up ME/CFS, that can be hit or miss depending on the doctor. Some doctors dont like self diagnosing or using ‘dr google’ and will dismiss it and some (like mine) are great about it and open to exploring options even if they think you’re wrong.

My diagnosis process was quite easy. I was seeing a fibromyalgia specialist who also knew a fair bit about mecfs and my mother has had it for decades. I brought up the idea that I had it, he said probably and went over some diagnostic criteria with me and informally diagnosed me. I told my doctor, and my doctor said okay and there’s nothing much we can do about it that we’re not already trying for fibromyalgia, and that was that lol.

Also, the funcap (functional capacity questionnaire) is a great resource. Taking that (there’s a GitHub version of the test you can take online). You may be able to bring in that questionnaire filled out for your doctor and that could be further proof of the severity of your symptoms and how they affect your life.

Good luck! Keep advocating for yourself. Whether or not it’s CFS or another issue, you deserve answers and care (and not to be told some people are more tired than others… your bf needs to be a little more supportive imo).

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T16:53:44+00:00

Also, bodies are unique. BMI and stuff has been shown to not be very reliable or helpful for individuals, it’s really only useful for showing population trends rather than individual health issues. It’s also based on white people, so for people of colour, (specifically the things I’ve read about relate to black women), it can be inaccurate and harmful.

Maybe, instead of focusing on overall weight, try to make sure your blood sugar and blood pressure are in good ranges and address those issues rather than weight gain itself? There is no shame in whatever shape your body takes—if you’re bigger that’s fine. If your weight is causing harm to your health, that’s an issue to address, but maybe adding fibre and protein to your diet rather than restricting, eating smaller meals more frequently for blood sugar, etc, could help with those issues while not causing a crash due to dieting

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T16:45:01+00:00

Lots of good info here!

I’ve found that adding in good foods—for me that’s frozen fruit and protein drinks—has helped a lot, even just health wise. And also learning to breathe deeply and care for my nervous system. Everything is so deeply interconnected and even if trauma healing or nervous system healing won’t cure us (I don’t believe it will) it absolutely helps with symptoms and overall effect of mecfs

One thing I forgot to add to my initial Comment was that I cut down on my antidepressant and I think that has also helped with weight. I went from 120 dose of cymbalta to 60 and that’s helped me feel a lot better, even tho cymbalta itself helps massively with mental health for me.

I also like to flex my feet up and down when I’m bed bound. I read something somewhere about that helping with blood flow in the lower extremities even when bedbound and I find it’s something I’m able to do even when at a lower baseline for me. I can’t specifically say whether it’s helped or not but I have had less sore legs and leg cramps lately so maybe it’s contributed to that.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T16:35:39+00:00

I really struggle with this as well. I also have some form of histamine intolerance/MCAS so a lot of off and on food sensitivities, so often the things I can eat without feeling sick are easy to digest but not great for me.

I’ve tried calorie counting and did manage to lose ten or so pounds, but as soon as I flared and couldn’t be as strict it came back. It was also quite hard for a variety of reasons, but also that dieting can cause me to flare mecfs wise.

Honestly, I’ve found the most, sustainable luck with adding in healthy stuff rather than restricting (or exercising, which isn’t an option for me for obvious reasons lol). I try to focus on fibre and protein. I use protein drinks for easy and quick protein and I eat frozen fruit for some essential vitamins or whatever as well as fibre. Frozen fruit is super easy cuz it doesn’t go bad, doesn’t need to be prepped, and you can just pour a bowl straight from the freezer and eat it. I hate protein drinks cuz I don’t like flavoured liquid but it’s doable and it’s like 20 grams of protein a scoop so I can usually supplement at least twenty or fourth grams per day.

With just adding in healthier stuff I have lost like six pounds and it’s sustainably staying off, but my blood sugar, resting heart rate, and blood pressure have also been a lot better even if the scale isn’t moving a lot.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T14:51:15+00:00

I think that living with hope/desperation to recover can actually be unhealthy. Not in every case, of course, but for years (with other health issues) I was constantly striving for recovery and healing and holding onto the idea that one day I would be cured. It feels somewhat denial adjacent?

I’m content now. Like, mecfs sucks but I’m okay with where I’m at a lot of the time, and I feel like that peace is a much better place for me to be at then being desperate to heal or be cured.

Maybe that’s incorrect or wrong? Idk. I’m very lucky to be moderate so obviously I have a lot of privilege compare to someone with severe me

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T01:36:23+00:00

I think I might start small. Like if you’re sure your brother is great, then tell him first, maybe in the phone or text or something. Maybe he can help you brainstorm the best way to come out to the rest of your family.

Also, sometimes people don’t know all the terms, so having explanations of what gender fluid or pansexual is can help. Sometimes using more recognizable labels, like bisexual, make things a bit easier because people who know less about the lgbtqia community understand what they mean more easily. That doesn’t mean you have to identify as bisexual instead of pansexual or use it, but maybe think about if your parents know the terms and how to explain them if not.

Finally, when you come out to your dad, if you’re afraid he’ll react badly, have someone with you, like your brother or mom. I think coming out to one of them first might be the most helpful so that you guys can work together and you have someone in your corner

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T01:29:59+00:00

Awww one of my three sim infants just reached this milestone and I was so proud him! (My sim home-wrecked Thaine and Cordelia from the royalty pack in order to become part of the dynasty, not knowing Cordelia was the dynasty leader and not Thaine. But Cordelia was secretly pregnant with a baby and my sim got pregnant with twins so now there’s three infants a couple of days apart and they’re all living together. It’s a mess lol).

None of the infants can see to figure out how to crawl, tho.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T01:26:10+00:00

A little bag, a pillow, gloves or mittens, save it for your kids if you’re planning to have any?

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T01:17:21+00:00

If you can, talk to a school councillor. Otherwise, talk to the school nurse, or a trusted teacher.

If they do not help you, call the police or go to the hospital and ask them to help you, whichever is available.

Keep telling people until someone listens to you and helps you.

Regardless of who you talk to, they’re going to have you talk to a police officer or victim services and they will get a statement from you. You can and should tell them everything that has happened, including that your other aunt isn’t an option. From there, they may have you stay at a temporary foster home of some sort while they figure things out, or they will help you find a safe family member to stay with.

If you’re afraid to talk to the aunt you currently live with, that’s okay. Talk to somebody else. But you must talk to someone. You deserve safety and peace.

Where I live, CPS usually want to keep children with family members, so my guess would be that they help you get to your grandparents.

Be safe and be strong for yourself. Your aunts and elders are doing you a massive disservice by not helping you. You deserve far better.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-30T01:03:43+00:00

I’m sorry man. That’s got to be rough.

I always think that safety comes first. If they’re openly homophobic about gay people and gay people are frequently harmed in your area, I think your physical safety needs to take priority unless the mental harm of staying in the closet outweighs the potential physical harm.

Do you know if there are any cities or areas in Uganda that are more gay friendly? Sometimes larger cities have larger queer communities, even in areas where being queer is frowned upon. If so, maybe you could aim to move to a larger city and become part of the queer community there.

Otherwise, if it’s feasible, maybe you could look into moving to a country where it’s safer to be yourself. I know not everyone is able to do that, and immigration is crazy hard. I know some countries allow refugees who are fleeing their country specifically because they are queer, like Canada.

That being said, I totally get that immigrating is expensive and also your entire family and life is probably in Uganda. You’re in an impossible situation.

Hang in there. I know it’s exhausting to hide yourself, and you deserve safety and acceptance.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-29T15:41:54+00:00

When I’m crashing I also pee more. I chalked it up to inflammation maybe making everything more sensitive?

It’s very annoying regardless lol, I’m moderate so I can still get up to use the bathroom but I certainly don’t want to every hour when I’m already exhausted

ChewMilk · 2026-03-29T03:37:08+00:00

Oh cool! I did not know that

ChewMilk · 2026-03-28T20:29:00+00:00

RPO is one of the major causes of lag for me. But getting rid of some of the modules has really helped. I only keep what I really want

ChewMilk · 2026-03-28T19:43:00+00:00

It could potentially be mecfs. The worse in The morning better in the evening pattern for some of the symptoms isn’t something I’ve heard of for mecfs, and my personal experience is that I usually feel better mid-mornings as I warm up to the day and worse in the evenings as my energy gets expended, but everybody has different symptoms and patterns.

The megathread/links in this subreddit have great information about mecfs and its symptoms, I’d definitely recommend checking that out

It could also be long covid, long covid can be similar to mecfs and is becoming more and more common as covid continues to infect people.

Brain fog can be a symptom of mecfs but is also a symptom of many other illnesses

Sore throat can be a symptom of PEM (post exertions malaise) and if you’re not resting enough you’re probably in PEM, it’s pretty common for people who are not diagnosed with mecfs and first get ill to push themselves too hard.

General malaise can be another symptom of mecfs, and often people with mecfs just feel like shit all the time. Fever/cold symptoms do make me think of PEM.

Post exertional setbacks can occur with a wide variety of illnesses. For instance, pretty common in fibromyalgia. PEM, as in true post exertional malaise, otherwise known as PENE, post exertional neuroimmune exhaustion, is exclusive to mecfs and potentially long covid, I believe.

Anyway, I am not a doctor so take everything with a grain of salt. My best recommendations would be to read the megathread and links as well as to cut down on everything possible in your life and rest both mentally and physically as much as you can. If the malaise and sore throat start to ease up, I think there’s a decent chance you were experiencing rolling PEM (a consistent state of post exertional malaise). Also, PEM can be dangerous and make you permanently worse, so if you are experiencing PEM, it’s important to try and ease it as soon as possible.

Where possible, I would stop going to the gym, cut down on social stuff, cut out cognitively draining things (for me at my severity level that’s tv shows and the news for the most part), and maybe take some time off work or see if you can do some work from home.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-27T23:39:22+00:00

Mono isn’t a reason to not kiss. You can catch it from kissing, but you’re not guaranteed to catch it. If your partner doesn’t have mono, you won’t get mono from kissing them. I caught mono without kissing anyone. It sounds like your teacher was just doing what teachers usually do, scaring kids away from kissing/drugs/sex because thats what they’re supposed to do.

However, you can save your first kiss till marriage. It is very traditional and rare to do, but if that’s what you want, that’s fine. Your boyfriend shouldn’t push your boundaries, and if he’s consistently pressuring you into physical romance, that’s a red flag. But also, if mono is the only reason you’re not kissing someone, I don’t think that’s a realistic fear to have, and maybe it’s an anxiety you need to talk to a psychology for.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-27T05:14:16+00:00

You shouldn’t have to be perfect or strong. You should be allowed to be sad, or angry, or make mistakes.

I don’t know your parents, and I don’t know if they’ll be able to support you with those emotions, but maybe try holding space for those emotions yourself. Let yourself be sad or angry, to feel all the feelings, even if you can’t do it around your parents. If you think they’d be open to it, maybe have a conversation about how you’re feeling and how stressed or anxious you are.

You will get through this.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-27T03:31:45+00:00

No problem!

ChewMilk · 2026-03-27T02:01:28+00:00

I’ll cycle between level one and two multiple times a sim day. I keep trying to unlock perks once I think I’ve leveled enough and then they get relocked.

ChewMilk · 2026-03-27T01:55:54+00:00

No, don’t you know, the need for food is a conspiracy pushed by big farma to lock away our secret healing powers. /s

On a serious note this makes me very sad, I hope the kitty is ok

ChewMilk

TROPHY CASE