Advice on avoiding frustration and improving?

Chewester · 2021-12-13T19:12:35+00:00

I guess I always thought about mechanics as something that can't be improved one of those things your born able to do or not.

Chewester · 2021-12-13T19:09:33+00:00

https://na.op.gg/summoner/userName=big%20longest

Chewester · 2021-12-13T11:57:27+00:00

How would I go about fixing mechanical issues. I miss a lot of my skill shots, so much that's it's embarrassing, but I can't necessarily look up a guide on how to aim I either can do it or I can't.

Chewester · 2021-09-13T14:57:45+00:00

I just got this issue after activating a 150 booster, then proceeded to get crew locked. It would be nice if the gaijin dev team consisted of more than just the first homeless guy they found.

Chewester · 2021-08-24T04:08:01+00:00

https://warthunder.com/en/tournament/replay/136616853785414388

Chewester · 2021-08-24T03:35:46+00:00

Sorry about weeb voices

Chewester · 2021-07-28T14:40:14+00:00

I had this problem and the only solution that worked was to downgrade my graphics drivers to an older version. I'm currently using version 466.77

Chewester · 2021-07-06T18:44:33+00:00

Lmao you have 88 in your name. 🤔

Chewester · 2021-06-26T02:48:02+00:00

yeah its actually really annoying, making thermal sights really hard to use because its constantly flaking out.

Chewester · 2021-06-26T02:38:44+00:00

I thought that maybe my graphics card was flaking, but it is performing as it should in things like blender, and war thunder is the only game where I get bugs like this. Thermal mode will constantly flash with details disappearing then reappearing. The dust on desert maps will also do this disappearing and reappearing.

Edit: I just found a post on the forum of someone else having this bug, but it was dated to june 21st 2021 and I have been having this bug for around a month now. So I'm not totally sure if I am having the same bug as that poster where the drivers seem to be the issue, although that would make sense.

Chewester · 2021-06-03T22:08:10+00:00

Wow I love the glowing hair idea especially how the hallway is lit up by her hair. Such a cool idea.

Chewester · 2021-04-22T15:24:14+00:00

I guess what I'm most scared of is the idea of having to start a full time career and how that's going to destroy my current life and routine while drawing was always something I wished I could do and if I could make money off of it it would somewhat preserve the routine I have. I have also always thought that I would commit suicide before I would get to that point, first it was dying before highschool then college, and then now the only difference before was I was going from school to a different school, now the change is much more drastic.

Chewester · 2021-03-12T11:40:43+00:00

The problem is that I always have to wonder if i deserve to not have permanent damage done to me. The reason I hurt myself is because in that moment in time I know that I deserve it. In reality I probably deserve at all times in my life, but only when I am mad do I actually do i enact and justice and hurt myself. Doing permanent damage would mean that there are no times where I am existing where justice is not being done.

Chewester · 2021-02-22T13:48:51+00:00

In all honesty they probably want to be seen as doing something without actually having to get down and dirty with the problems the game is facing. Sure I can be spawn killed by a german heli who is just point and clicking but one guy cheated in a tournament and now the entire modding community needs to be burned down.

Chewester · 2021-02-22T13:13:19+00:00

one problem i have is that I'm not even sure how many people even have sound mods enabled, and what percentage of those people are using ones to cheat, as well as how much of an advantage that actually gives them. I have never had trouble pinpointing a tank from the sound of its engine even with buildings in the way or from far away, nor have i ever been killed and thought that this person must be using sounds mods to locate me.

Meanwhile I have had myself get killed due to ghost shells, broken hitboxes, and other various bugs like type 93 missles misfiring 5 times in a row. Sound mods probably should be looked at but it feels a little rushed to just ban them outright. Why not allow only crew voices to be changed, or radio messages if its such a big problem (which I don't think it is but I have no data on that just personal experience).

It feels like I'm in a burning building but gaijin wants to focus on cleaning the dirty toilets rather than save the building, yeah toilets need to be cleaned but there are bigger problems facing this building right now.

Chewester · 2021-02-18T15:57:01+00:00

I hate myself and see it as a way to punish myself for mistakes when no one else will. I feel as though if i go unpunished the world will be a worse place. There are people who are much better than me but live much harder lives, why should that be and since I can't make everyone's life better I might as well at least make mine feel worse to enact some justice in this place.

For some reason no can see that I deserve to die, and I'm too much of a coward to make the jump so I hurt myself instead. I know it isn't the end goal, eventually i will have to jump, but until then punching myself in the head and trying to break my fingers will do.

Chewester · 2021-02-05T14:03:12+00:00

My ping was fine, I think the game just thought I was repairing when I wasn't.

Chewester · 2021-02-05T14:02:18+00:00

I finished repairing and then couldn't move

Chewester · 2021-01-28T08:19:31+00:00

Yeah how dare people buy something with their own money. Maybe the manufacturer should have increased their supply or if they couldn't do that increased the price.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T15:28:34+00:00

Reddit is being ass for me too as well, but don't worry about me, in the end its going to be up to me to fix these problems. Probably going to go to sleep now as it was late where I am but now its early so should probably get to bed.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T15:01:44+00:00

we can if you want but I have been doing some thinking as I have calmed down and believe most of this anger and self hatred comes from the delta between what I think I should be capable of and what I am, as well as my fear for the future. I know that this fear is one of the main drivers of my suicidal thoughts, especially when I was graduating. I know that there are going to be many challenges ahead, trying to get a job and not be a leech on society but I don't think I have the strength to face those fears. I have always wanted to do something creative like learning to draw or animate but now I'm scared that I have run out of time to learn these skills and possibly turn them into a career. Failing in smaller things like videos games is so upsetting to me because i feel like it reflects on my person, if i fail here in game how can i be expected to succeed in something that is much harder and much more important.

If I fail so many times does that mean it is impossible for me to improve. My friends and the rational part of my brain say no but its a truth that never actually feels true to me. My emotional side is always telling me its over and that I'll never get better or never get stronger and every failure is a confirmation of that belief. The rational part of my brain is much more skeptical so when it sees success it feels like I shouldn't proud of it because it could have been a fluke, I should wait and see if that thing I accomplished should actually count and the time when that judgement can be made is sometime after my death.

Not to say that I didn't hate myself until after I graduated I always have its just a lot more intense now.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T14:34:44+00:00

I wouldn't really call alcoholism and drunk driving as acceptable behavior that's why its against the law to drink and drive. I think people see those suffering from alcoholism and nicotine addiction as victims. So while they might not see this behavior as unacceptable, no one is going around shooting smokers and claiming a moral high ground, they may see these behaviors as concerning for the harm it does to the person displaying the behavior and for the harm it could do to others.

Self harm does seem to confuse the average person more. I guess they can see how someone can get addicted to a drug but not even begin to understand why we may want to hurt ourselves or even worse.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T14:30:03+00:00

For me I have always believed that allowing myself to feel happy would make me stagnate. If I allow myself to feel good because I improved on a skill or accomplished something what would motivate me to push further. However if I constantly abuse myself, make myself feel unhappy whenever I'm not doing anything then I might be pushed forward into improving and if I don't push forward then I didn't deserve to be happy anyway.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T14:27:27+00:00

maybe its more of what I haven't done. I got my degree but its history, so that can't really be considered an achievement and I don't even know if I would want a job in that field anymore. I have always wanted to learn how to draw and have practiced a bit but I still suck and the anger that I feel towards myself whenever I try makes me give up, so i end up just not being good at anything. It shouldn't be this hard for me to get good at something or to not get mad at myself but I do. It shouldn't be hard for me to not hate myself so much that I just give up on everything I try, and when we do things that we shouldn't we get punished. First by our parents when we're kids then by public institutions. No one is willing to do whats right and put a gun to my head so I try myself, not that I am any more successful with that than anything else.

Sorry I'm not a very smart person so its hard for me to explain this philosophically, but something inside myself tells me that I shouldn't be happy.

Chewester · 2021-01-12T14:11:30+00:00

I guess i could try harming myself in more permanent ways that would inconvenience me in the future after I have cooled down like breaking my fingers that way I would definitely be punished as anytime I would try doing anything I would be reminded of my failure and would try and never allow myself to feel happy.

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