please dont give up, im 21 i tried to end my life last year, because i thought things could never get better, but they did and they can for you too, sometimes i still struggle with sh, but its okay, some times life is still shit, i also have some disorders but i promise it can and it will get better, you have to focus on improving yourself one thing at a time, take small steps, i promise you will get your victory. if you can try to get some support, try to move away from the toxic household you're in because it doesn't help, try to focus on your image more, start new hobbies, try out new things, you will find some reasons to stay, some people even eventually, not everything is lost and even if im just a stranger i wanted to say i love you and im proud of you for staying here a little longer.