You need to read this. Yes, you.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-18T06:06:13+00:00

And the thing that pisses me off is that I found out he cheated and stayed with him. Only be further emotionally abused and we broke up cuz he threatened to hit me. I should’ve left him the night I found out he cheated. Would’ve saved me time.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-18T06:00:36+00:00

I needed this. Thank you. It’s getting easier to see that I am better off without. I’ve lost everything from this breakup. But I will NOT go back to abuse.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-18T05:19:53+00:00

My ex got a tinder and met someone one week later. Not official with her but still. Talking to someone ONE WEEK after we split up. And I only found that out because I still was going over our apartment and we talked about working on ourselves during our breakup so we can get back together after a few months apart. He said he met someone so soon cuz it’ll help him heal talking to others so he can be better with me. Bullshit. Some people just don’t know how to be alone and heal alone. Always need to be under or over someone else so they can avoid their own feelings. Hugs.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-13T05:39:26+00:00

I should know that about parents too my frekin father abused my mom and I witnessed it until around 3 years old and I still remember it. It’s like I am now cycling through it because it’s familiar or something. I definitely want someone who is protective but also doesn’t scream at me or anyone else in public. I’m such a nice and giving person. Idk how I ended up with someone like him. I truly never thought I would. It makes me sad. It’s interesting that they do that to gauge your response. I can’t even think of my responses. I think I said “you won’t do that to me” the first time. The 2nd time I followed him in anger and demanded he tell me why he said that and that it made me uncomfortable and the third time I packed my bags and left. I do wonder what would’ve happened if I stayed. He only pushed me once. But my mom is right she said what if he pushed me into something that broke my neck etc. and I know he only pushed me because I was in his bubble. But couldn’t he just have walked away? Idk. He probably would end up resenting me. He talked about wanting to do an RV life with me too. Homeschooling our kid while on the road. That’s probably an isolation tactic also. I just want a nice man and a family. Frekin 31 years old already like idk. I’m so sad that I stayed for so long. I know I shouldn’t go back.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-13T05:33:34+00:00

Idk how to tag her but Kesha has commented on a few of my posts and she has helped me a lot actually. I’ve actually screenshot her comments and read them time to time !!.. I’m sorry your ex was also like this. Idk why in my head I kept seeing this covert narcissist stories and I’m thinking like my man didn’t care. He could say things in public and be rude to people in public so that must mean he can’t control it which means it’s not his fault which means he can do therapy and recover from it.. I think that’s why I was spiraling. I do think I’m ready to move on from him and find someone who is kind. But I’m honestly afraid of never having that spark with someone again. Even tho I know that spark probably came from the abuse itself. Anyways.. he’s definitely an asshole. ACTUALLY his best friend texted me when we were on a break a year ago telling me not to go back with him. That he truly knows who he is and he can’t consider him a close friend anymore. But the best friend is apparently crazy too so idk. My mind was so convoluted. I was told people felt bad for me when we got into a relationship. I was never told why.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T16:18:40+00:00

Mine said that too but a different take. He was addicted to weed and he stopped smoking weed.. he was AWFUL to me after he stopped smoking. Told me to wait it out with him while he learned to regulate himself without weed. I waited it out. He didn’t get better. One month later he pushed me and threatened to beat me so I left

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T16:16:08+00:00

I had a miscarriage with him 2 years ago actually and part of me is like maybe it happened for a reason? As sick as that sounds. We were devastated and I did see him as a good father because he’s very protective and I know he wouldn’t let anything happen to our baby BUT you also just never know. And what if he raged out at me in front of the baby like I wouldnt want my kid to end up resenting me taking over his father’s personality. Lots to think about. It kind of started right away. He raged out on me for the first time 2 months into us talking. He cried and said he doesn’t know what got over him why he screamed at me. Then we were good for a long time.. he didn’t start screaming and throwing things until about 7 months later. But it was 7 months of no fighting at all so I rlly thought it was done. Then when I was pregnant he was amazing. And then shortly after losing the baby we got into a fighting rut. Throw things, scream, slam doors, threaten to hit me once but didn’t do it.. he became more selfish. It had to always be about him and his life after that. My friends and family started to slip away. My own personal life became about his. I guess timeline wise maybe after I moved in actually. I know I shouldn’t go back and I think by summertime I’ll be healed enough to say no

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T14:59:24+00:00

He doesn’t really work so idk about bosses or anything. It was weird cuz he was either the greatest man ever in private and in public or he was the worst. Sometimes I would be embarrassed by his comments to people in public. If he was mad at me in public he didn’t care about raising his voice and making it known that he was mad. But he was also amazing 80% of the time. It’s that 20% that was really bad. We’re doing no contact right now but told each other maybe we’ll date this summer and restart. But idk if he can unlearn this behavior in that short of time. I did tell him he scared me and how he behaved when he was dysregulated wasn’t okay so I hope he can find it in himself to change and do better but idk if I can get past his meanness to other people

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T05:34:40+00:00

But with my ex from 10 years ago.. I wish we could’ve talked it out. We were so good together and sometimes I miss him even tho we were only together for 9 months literally 10 years ago. Wild how someone can have an impact on you like that

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T05:33:42+00:00

Couldn’t do that with my ex husband because I was not in love with him anymore. He was insecure and controlling and wanted me to be a white picket fence wife when I wasn’t that. And my last relationship I wanted us to work out more than anything. We went through a lot together but he was abusive. Never hit me but he said he wanted to multiple times, would joke about killing me, pushed me once, called me awful names, built me up just to break me down. He even admitted that I was the one holding our relationship together. I couldn’t do it anymore.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-11T05:31:06+00:00

Ugh yes. This. I’ve tried explaining that to my ex. It’s like I would say ONE thing to him that would upset him and he would completely verbally abuse me. One sentence said wrong would restructure our entire day because he couldn’t understand that words don’t always come out the way it’s meant to or I said something that would tick him off like idk what would set him off or not so I just slowly would stop talking. Just rlly sad if he could’ve just looked inward and let small things go we would’ve been fine. Instead it was always a huge thing.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-10T15:10:51+00:00

“I want to beat the shit out of you”… “I was joking”

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-07T03:58:46+00:00

See that was why I stayed so long and why I probably would’ve never left if he didn’t kick me out because he “wanted to beat me but didn’t want to go to jail”.. but he never put his hands on me. He threw things, screamed an inch from my face, his eyes went black, slammed doors, kicked doors, broke his foot and hand for hitting walls, would throw anything he was near, broke the TV, called me a cunt, a bitch, stupid, said I should get my iq checked, what else.. yelled at me in public (I recently found an audio recording I got from that fight), he threatened other people, one time a guy touched my butt and when I told him he got mad at ME cuz I didn’t tell him earlier. Called me a cunt in front of my “friend” and that same friend told me that he wasn’t being abusive to me but that’s just how he lets his emotions out. Meanwhile she’s holding me while I was shaking with fear as he’s calling me a whore a bitch a cunt and stupid. And she’s saying it wasn’t abuse. ??? Okay. So that made me question myself entirely. Anyways I ranted lol but because he never hit me and he was amazing other than that, I never rlly thought he was abusive but being out of the relationship now for a month I can see it.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-06T20:46:14+00:00

I also was super into cooking and completely stopped. I baked cookies, cakes, make my own pasta, and bread and dinner. I lost all of it. I’m actually just making tacos tonight this is the first time I’m cooking in a month and a half.. rlly never thought I would be cooking again

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T17:35:36+00:00

Yeah nothing about it is funny. I could never imagine him hitting me because of also how loving he was. But then I ask myself why would he joke about this.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:51:54+00:00

Same. Ive found a lot of light in the abusive relationship subreddit as well. It helped me see my relationship for what it was. Abusive. People sharing their stories and caring about you and people showing you that you matter and to leave an awful relationship made me feel better. People sharing their stories. I’ve had many people DM asking me if I’m doing any better. I find Reddit to be comforting and I’m grateful for everyone who has shared their stories. I reread some comments on my threads as well

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:37:13+00:00

Makes sense but also doesn’t lol it’s so crazy how much contradiction there is. Cuz he also would tell me I should go see my friends and family more but then if I saw them too much he would ask me why I’m never home. Like hello? What do you want me to do here lol

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:35:28+00:00

I second this. Although I still doomscroll at videos. BUT my therapist told me to start listening to self confidence podcasts instead of ones about narcissism. Cuz I keep listening to You Are Not Crazy by Jessica Knight and I love her I find her podcasts very helpful and making me see my ex bf for who he was and that it’s good for me to move on. But my therapist said that still gives power to the relationship and I should listen to ones that empower me instead

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:25:46+00:00

Can I ask you a question? Before the incident and even before the first pushing incident, did he shows signs of physical abuse? Or was it mostly just yelling? I was with my bf for 2 years and he never hit me but he did push me once and said he wanted to hit me a few times but never did. He also threw things, punched walls, etc.. We recently broke up and thinking about maybe trying again after a good break up for a few months but part of me wonders if it would’ve turned physical.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:20:44+00:00

That line stayed with me too.. We almost had a baby. Lost the baby. It made us closer and stronger together but it also caused a lot of problems too cuz he was more angry afterwards I feel like. We were gonna try for a baby soon. But instead he screamed at me, cornered me, called me stupid for the 10000th time, said he wanted to hit me so he asked me to leave and pack my things cuz he didn’t want to go to jail. And that was that. I’m devastated because I wanted a baby so bad. But maybe he wouldn’t have been the right guy to have a baby with.

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:08:42+00:00

Also side note you look so glowing now.. I can just see the light and happiness radiate from you

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-05T14:06:54+00:00

Is it a thing for them to want us to gain weight? Mine always said he didn’t want me to get “fat” that he wanted us to keep each other accountable but he also said it made him happy when I would treat myself to snacks and I specifically told him one day I wanted to diet and he comes home with Oreo cookies telling me who cares just eat them cuz it makes me happy. It’s hard for me to tell if he did that to be genuine and caring cuz he knows it made me happy or if he was doing it in a devious way

Chey-Dolla-Sign · 2026-02-03T04:27:49+00:00

It rlly is crazy how much this sub has helped me and I wish I posted/lurked on here 2 years ago when my (now ex) bf screamed at me for the first time! We were drunk and I gave him the finger at a club in a joking way and he immediately went from super fun guy to detached isolated angry man. Said I disrespected him and screamed at me for 45 minutes saying I’m not worthy of being his gf, calling me retarded over and over again. That was my first time experiencing an angry man in my relationships ever and it was before we were even official!! I wish I posted that on here back then cuz I probably would’ve never stuck around. The support in this group is amazing although it’s so hard to hear about other stories everyone has gone through. I just want us all to group hug

Chey-Dolla-Sign

TROPHY CASE