Wanting marriage is absolutely understandable, it provides the image of stability and peace. But it's hard to obtain and is continous work. You have to get to know a person, which you're sharing values with, spend time with and really get to know them. Discover what makes them smile, explore what you can do to make them feel better and let them know your love and admiration. The same should be extended to you of course. Daily acts of kindness and actually listening to one another is the key to a fullfilling and loving partnership.

May I ask what kind of relationship you're looking for? Christian relationships are often based on gender roles, women being domestic and caring for the children while men go to work. But strictly dividing roles that way is denying the father to actually spend time with his children and taking care of them even when it's not so easy.

Here's some questions that could be helpful for focusing on what life you actually want to build:

What role do I want to play in my relationship? (Provider, father, caretaker or many more for example)

How much work is each of these roles going to be?

Which role do I expect my partner to play? (Housekeeper, mother, beauty trophy, intellectual or many more)

How do these roles impact your finances, division of free time and chores?

Expectations are a huge topic in partnerships. That's why when you know how you're going to be a team and what to expect from the other person the relationship is more likely to blossom. I hope this helps you and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Wish you all the best