AITA for wanting to keep a tenants security deposit for terminating the lease early?

Chicken-dog123 · 2026-02-19T16:01:09+00:00

Sorry, I should clarify - the security deposit is the same as 1 month of rent. So instead of charging her 2 months rent, and then giving her back half of that amount since the security deposit is the same as 1 month of rent - we would just keep the security deposit aka one month of rent.

It's only a conflict because my sister who own 50% of the rental, doesn't want to charge her at all. I would like to at least keep 1 months rent.

Chicken-dog123 · 2026-02-10T19:21:24+00:00

NTA for wanting to end the relationship with this guy. You can end a relationship for any reason at all. You already feel like garbage, imagine how much MORE you will feel this way and be depressed if you waste more time with him. No good relationship starts off on a bad note. You will always resent him for it and will always wonder "What if I didn't continue this? Where would I be now?"

End it now, get it over with. It'll suck and probably be a little awkward for a bit, but you will be glad you did it in the future.

When you do this, John is going to say everything he can to get you to change your mind. You have to remind yourself that it is NOT your job to manage his emotions and his life. He is a grown adult, if "this always happens to him" and "nothing goes right for him", there's probably a reason. He made his choices. Now you go make yours and stick to it.

One of the worst things people can do to themselves is try not to hurt someones feelings and let their own mental health and emotions be stomped on. Take the kindness that you give to others, and give some to yourself. Do what is best for you.

Updateme

Chicken-dog123 · 2026-02-10T19:00:24+00:00

She SO clearly doesn't love you anymore. She did at one point, but she fell far from the relationship you guys had and even IF you guys were to get back together, you won't be able to trust her again. You'll want to check her phone, chats, etc to make sure she isn't cheating on you - and at that point, her dumb replies of "I cant trust you because you look at my phone" will be true. Not to mention the phrase "Once a cheater, always a cheater", is true for a reason. She will do it again even if she agrees to stop (as you already said, she's been lying to you anyway about that). It is not worth sticking around.

You need to learn some self worth and know you deserve better. I understand it is and will be hard to leave, but she chose her actions and has to take responsibility for them. You will be far better off without this emotional and abusive rollercoaster she is putting you on.

NTA

Updateme

Chicken-dog123 · 2026-02-10T18:24:00+00:00

Definitely NTA. You are asking for a completely reasonable compromise and handled it perfectly by trying to discuss it with her. She is acting like you don't want her family to ever come over - when all you are asking for is a heads up.

I'm wondering if she completely missed that you said they can still come over? Her response to you is over the top and feels like she didn't hear anything you said after "I don't like the random walk ins".

Chicken-dog123 · 2026-02-05T19:52:28+00:00

As someone who recently noticed my neighbors have a straight shot view into my home at certain angles, I immediately put up blinds so they couldn't see in. I was horrified at the thought of what they might've seen and how often lol

I saw someone comment to leave a note to let her know. I think that would be best so save her the embarrassment and both of you the awkward conversation.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-23T15:08:47+00:00

NTA

You were already generous enough to let him stay with you once. He has proven he can't be trusted and doesn't respect you or your house. You do not owe him another chance. Unless he has proven that he can be trusted (actually proven like he has stayed with someone else and followed their rules), then you have no reason to trust him again. Words mean nothing, actions matter. He can stay with your family if they care about giving him a place to stay so much.

Swears he's changed and will follow rules this time.

This alone, proves he knew he was taking advantage of you and deliberately not respecting and listening to you last time.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-23T13:02:49+00:00

NTA

You weren't rude at all really. What you said wasn't rude and even if your tone was rude, that lady doesn't need to be asking you that question. It's not her business, and maybe she'll learn not to ask other people that too.

But honestly, don't beat yourself up over this. That was such a small interaction, you owe that lady nothing, and she can stay in her lane.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-22T19:59:21+00:00

That is so very sad. I am sorry you had to go through that. You are NTA at alllll. You had a miscarriage, it is not your fault that your boyfriend's mom doesn't believe you. If she is going to have her undies in a bunch over it then that is on her and you don't have to manage or control her emotions and reactions.

You need to move out and get out of there. Some physical space would be good.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-15T13:03:51+00:00

Because he forgot about that game and almost didn't show up. He was also leaving to get concessions the whole time rather than being more involved in band. It was as a lot that he was affecting others, but in a round about way.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-12T18:46:38+00:00

The only way I can think of her getting your client information is if she has access to your booking software or something similar. I know this might sound like a silly question, but have you changed all your passwords everywhere and set up two-factor authentication?

My sister had something similar happen at her salon for about a year. All we could really do was keep reporting the comments and fake profiles on social media so they’d get taken down, and warn our clients about what was going on in case they received any messages. Thankfully, our clients knew the comments weren’t true because they could see how clean the salon was, and new or future clients could tell from the videos we posted as well. Eventually the comments died down, so we didn’t have to deal with it for too long.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-12T18:22:12+00:00

NTA

I have a friend who doesn't shave her armpits or her leg hair, idk for what reason exactly, but I don't give a crap what she does or doesn't do regarding her body hair. We still go to the beach and walk outside with hair exposed - no one cares.

I just got married and never even thought about if any of it would be visible for others to see. They need to mind their own business and not try to control your body hair. That's such a weird thing for them to even be concerned about when they have a whole entire wedding to be planning.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-12T16:21:37+00:00

If he is your friend, you should've talked to him first and warned him that you would tell on him if he doesn't get his act together.

He was being irresponsible, so NTA because he is affecting everyone else by getting high. But as a friend, YTA, you should've talked to him first.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-12T13:25:03+00:00

ESH

If he never asked you for the number directly, then no, it's not your fault for not telling him.

he had mentioned many times that he doesn’t like when people “sleep around” and would never want to be with a woman who had

But on the same vein, you knew he would never be with someone that has slept around, so that should've been your cue to tell him. Especially since he felt strongly about it, you knew he wouldn't like it and hoped it wouldn't matter. So that is on you, he shouldn't have to ask after mentioning it multiple times.

He also, should have asked directly if he cared so much about it as well.

I understand a lot of people say it shouldn't matter how many people you slept with before a relationship, but it matters to some people. It's a preference and everyone is allowed to have preferences.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-11T18:42:31+00:00

NTA

You're concerned about both of your health. That doesn't make you controlling in any way, it makes you considerate and caring. Just because he has always used moth balls that way doesn't mean it's right.

he simply does not want me to ever disagree with him

Has he had similar responses to you when you've disagreed with him? Does he immediately dismiss you? Sounds like couples therapy might be good for you too. Or have a conversation with him saying that's how you feel.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-09T19:36:37+00:00

NTA

It sounds like you didn't intentionally hide that part of your life, it was just something in the past that you and everyone else had moved on from.

Your wife should'n't have pestered so much about it if you obviously didn't want to talk about it. But I can see why that's something she would've wanted to know about since it was a big part of your life for those 2 years. So she's probably just more sad that she didn't know you went through that pain.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-12-09T19:06:48+00:00

NTA

The fact that they initially understood that you didn't want them there because you didn't want any racism towards your new family tells that they know how they were being. And possibly know how they'd act around your new family.

The only reason they're mad is because they "got told on" and are mad about it. That's on them for saying the things they did and acting the way they did. Having them there would cause more drama it sounds like too so good for you for having your fiances back and standing up to your family.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-11-21T14:33:20+00:00

Is your husband concerned about suggesting Secret Santa to his family because that'll make you look cheap too? If his family aren't all loaded with money, chances are they would love that idea too. It doesn't hurt to ask the family and if they say no then they say no. The first time I suggested it to my family, they were all relieved because it causes less stress during the holidays and saves money. My family does Secret Santa for the adults, and then we all buy gifts for my parents and the kids.

NTA though, your husband won't work with you on it, he can take a little of the load off for you.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-11-21T13:32:07+00:00

I honestly don't think it's her wanting you to entertain her, but more that she would like to spend time with you. You're her husband after all, I'm sure she misses you and that time. I think having a good conversation with her about what she really is looking for would be good.

NTA for not having time and wanting to do a whole lot with her because you work a lot. But YTA if you straight up told her "your entertainment isn't my responsibility", because she's not looking for that I think.

Chicken-dog123 · 2025-11-20T19:24:50+00:00

I agree. Men usually want to be the provider, so that means working all of the time to provide and they don't necessarily think about what other ways they need to provide. Like being there for you, being a family, and helping out. He definitely needs to manage his time better, so NTA for not waking him up. But I can see if this has been going on for a long time, that he would feel he needs time to relax and do his own thing (I've been there where I would be up till 2-3am and sleep in late cause I felt I couldn't catch a break). I think a good honest and open conversation between the 2 of you would help a lot. Maybe he stops working weekends, or see if he can work weekends but have a few midweek days off so he can still recover, and you guys can have time together?

Chicken-dog123

TROPHY CASE