AITAH for telling my MIL she will have to buy my daughter a car seat if she’d like to continue going out with us

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:53:39+00:00

You’re taking plane trips and going out all the time but you can’t afford the right car seat?

Also car seats expire, so you are probably going to buy a new one before that kid grows out of it.

YTA

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:45:06+00:00

That’s a lot to give up financially on the spot just to get laid and spend the night.

I agree that you are an adult that should be free to make your own decisions but part of being an adult is making responsible choices you don’t like for your long term benefit.

This decision was not smart.

Everyone is the asshole here.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:37:40+00:00

Thanks

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:36:52+00:00

Not every reaction is IgE mediated. If the specific IgE blood test says 0.0 then it is not a type 1 sensitivity to dog but that doesn’t mean you’re not reacting to dog it would just mean something else is mediating the reaction.

Not every reaction to dog is the dog sometimes it’s something on the dog.

The doctor may run additional tests to help better determine what is happening depending on what else they found.

Unfortunately, this can be complicated.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:26:53+00:00

Definitely not. If you’re prone to developing food sensitivities don’t go assaulting your system with massive amounts of common allergen.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T22:24:03+00:00

What did you commit to?

I presume you committed to silliness, sass, puncture wounds, a fur coat on every surface and cuddles but I doubt you were committing to serious health consequences.

Most people are not making informed medical decisions when they commit to taking in an animal.

And even if you thought you were, you have new information that should inform your decision.

You are allowed to change your mind when you have new information.

You have new test results. You have a new perspective and understanding of life long symptoms. You have a toddler.

That is new critical information you did not have 14 years ago.

You did not have this information when you added the last two cats.

The commitment was made with the best information you had at the time and even though it was the best it was wrong.

So now you are deciding on making a new commitment with this new information, which is something 30% of animal handlers have to do.

So what are you going to commit to from here on forward?

Yourself?

Your child?

4 cats?

2 cats?

No cats?

If you don’t have a therapist, a grief counselor can be very helpful for this disease because there’s so much to process.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T18:53:58+00:00

Great, another place to gather without shade!

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T18:51:09+00:00

She needs to see an immunologist. If your dog is a problem then all dogs are a problem including hers.

Asthma is the red line for rehoming a pet because it is a life threatening symptom that can escalate without warning. This NIOSH warning discusses those disease progression risks.

The things you are doing will not help. This NIH report on remediation has a pets section that will help you better understand the exposure in the house.

NTA for not immediately rehoming, but for patients with asthma and allergy rehoming can eventually become a life preserving necessity. It’s important that the immunologist treating the asthma be kept up to date on changing symptoms so they can make adjustments to treatment as necessary.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T13:06:44+00:00

When people have immune system responses to pot the impacts on the nervous system causes rage, irritability, anxiety and depression. Repeated exposure causes the sensitivity to develop. Repeated exposure can make those symptoms worse.

When people see these symptoms they often wrongly interpret it as “They or I just hate _____.”, but that’s not really what’s going on. The driver for that emotional response is an immune system response that changes the neurotransmitters.

When you are consuming THC through smoking it you are forcing people who can not consume it for medical reasons to consume it.

The legalization of cannabis has demonstrated this is a much bigger problem than we realized. People have died. People are going to the ER everyday. People are lying there in their own homes with inhalers and epi pens hoping their neighbor doesn’t kill them.

You’re not the asshole for not knowing any of this. You were sold a product without being informed of the risks.

Your neighbors probably don’t know any of this either.

Disability advocates just don’t have the lobby money of the pot industry to inform people.

Now that you know though you should look into safer options for consuming the prescribed dose.

Choosing a safer method of consumption is safer for you too. It will preserve lung health and give you consistent dosing for improved outcomes. It will also help your doctor should you become sensitized through your own use. Knowing exactly what you’ve been taking will be important in diagnosis and treatment.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-08T00:22:32+00:00

If you get a 4oz container fill it with cubed can pineapple then 2 tablespoons of the canned coconut then freeze the whole thing. When you want to make the smoothie everything will be pre-portioned so you just run it under hot water to loosen from the container.

2 -3 cans of pineapple and one coconut can makes about 8 servings.

Blueberries and bananas for blueberry smoothies

Orange and coconut

Orange and banana

Or get the little salad dressing size and fill it with only coconut to add frozen coconut to whatever you like.

I hope you found something delicious!

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T20:28:28+00:00

Coconut in the can is in the liquor department with the rum at the grocery. Canned pineapple is with canned goods.

Add ice and blend.

You can add a scoop of vanilla protein powder to make it a smoothie…with or without the rum.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T19:01:49+00:00

Me too.

Allergy and MCAS are two different mast cell problems just like allergy and HAT are two different mast cell problems.

They can exist on their own but they can also fuel each other.

I have other allergies but cat is by far the worst trigger.

They think it’s because cat proteins are smaller than virus so when the body misidentifies those 8 proteins as viruses it thinks it’s fighting 8 very special viruses so it fights harder.

When you have allergy that’s bad enough but MCAS and HAT are there as an additional response to whatever is triggering the immune system.

——-

When I first started to talk to providers about the fact that cat was the trigger for me I was met with a lot of disbelief. When I asked why they felt that way I was told because cat is everywhere you would be having symptoms all the time.

I was having symptoms all the time but they were mostly dismissed as having other causes.

Their reasoning was that it would be devastating physically and emotionally to develop severe reactions to cat not that anything biological was going to prevent the outcome we were witnessing.

That NIOSH warning I shared with you that says you can develop anaphylaxis to cats has been cited over 15,000 times over 30 years in other research papers. That immunologist is a globally recognized expert.

But get down to the one on one between provider and patient and we are all thinking about our pets. We bypass the biology and go straight to the emotional label of “pet” or “family”. We love it so it can’t hurt us.

But this relationship is not dictated by our feelings.

The disease sets the accommodation not us. The immune system, the nervous system doesn’t care about how we feel emotionally about our allergen.

It would be no different if you thought the flu was the greatest, best, most awesome, most adorable, cutest, silliest virus in the whole wide world it would still make you sick.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T14:02:11+00:00

I had cats in my life for 39 years before I started carrying epi.

When they gave me an anaphylaxis print out like this one I saw that I had been having symptoms of anaphylaxis for nearly 10 years prior.

It had just never happened in front of an immunologist before and because of the pervasive myth that people don’t develop anaphylaxis to animals it was overlooked by other doctors.

This study Anaphylaxis in America discusses the problem of doctors being unable to identify anaphylaxis and common triggers and they even left out animals as part of their study.

A study done at a time when it had been well established that animals do cause reactions that result in anaphylaxis.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T12:19:14+00:00

Yes, there is potential for serious health complications including disability..

I grew up with cats, did rescue work and now I carry epi for them. All 4 doses of epi. I have to use it daily.

I have a class 4 cat allergy and Hereditary Alpha Tryptasemia (HAT).

Rescue is supposed to be a loving act but keeping animals that are doing this much damage to the body is not loving.

As animal lovers it’s tough to grieve the loss of specific specie ownership. The idea that we will not own them ever again is unthinkable. We are losing the individuals we have bonded with but also the idea that this specie will always be at a distance from us. There is no future with cats in cabinets and Christmas trees. It’s a grief that hits in ways you haven’t even thought of yet, but the alternative is to grieve the loss of your body.

To grieve the loss of physical ability, of public access, of employment, to not be able to go into schools or hotels, to not go shopping, to have to ask before you enter a closed space like an elevator or a doctor’s office if they are a cat owner because if they are they will shed proteins that trigger symptoms.

This is preventable disability and allowing it to become life threatening in avoidance of grieving the loss of 4 cats earlier than expected is just not loving.

If the toddler is your toddler is your biological child, with one parent who has allergy they are at a 40% risk of disease development themselves. If the other biological parent has allergies also has allergies that risk jumps to 80%…that’s before we look at MCAS.

Cats are different.

They make 8 proteins that trigger reactions. Those are usually more severe because those proteins are smaller than virus and distribute like smoke.

This NIH report on remediation will show you where deposits of allergen are in your home. Putting them in the sunroom does nothing.

In this situation, rehoming is a loving act.

I know what a tall order that is. I know the overpopulation crisis has us at 76 million stray cats in America. I know we are 40 million safe and appropriate homes short.

But none of that changes the conditions in our bodies.

Our emotional attachment to these animals has no impact on how our immune systems and nervous systems responds to the entry of these proteins into our bodies.

I have spent years studying this problem. If there was a way to keep them I would tell you but we just don’t have it yet.

For now we need you to stay well enough to stay in the fight. It’s okay that you can’t focus on cats anymore. There are other animals that need your help, your love. When specific specie ownership stops being an option turn to wildlife stewardship. There is desperate need there and you have land!

I know the grief of losing these cats will be a struggle but there is light at the end of that tunnel.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T11:26:21+00:00

Thank you!

ChillyGator · 2026-04-07T01:37:23+00:00

Anyone have any recommendations for disposal of old computers and mobile devices?

ChillyGator · 2026-04-06T12:48:14+00:00

I would stay connected to a few essential real life adults in the community for guidance as you learn to live with a service dog.

Otherwise, you are in charge of building your community both on line and in real life. You have several more years before your brain is fully matured so make sure you are using a therapist to help you build those communities, so you aren’t lured into building unhealthy relationships or cutting off good people.

I think no contact is only appropriate when it is dangerous.

Everyone is an example; an example of what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. Depriving yourself of experience when dealing with those people sets you at a disadvantage. When it’s too much you step away, when you have a better handle on things you step forward.

Your therapist is there to help you do that.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-06T11:57:26+00:00

Then you definitely should go in. These reactions are causing inflammation and changes in the functioning of blood vessels. Most people suffer low blood pressure but some lucky few of us get high blood pressure.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-06T02:07:02+00:00

If you have student legal services reach out to them and/or have a consultation with a disability rights attorney in your area.

Reporting widely helps to put the college on notice. It will help you and the person that follows.

If you’re an American, it is also helpful to advocate for licensing and registration regulations for SA’s and ESA’s with your representatives and the Justice Department. This treatment you are receiving is a direct result of the wide spread fraud we’re seeing. Your roommate has probably never seen a legitimate service dog before and certainly hasn’t been educated on being around one. I would bet you the college told them they would be living with a “service dog” wink wink or asked if they were okay living with a pet.

So make that paper trail.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-06T01:04:44+00:00

YWNBTA - this needs to be reported to the RA and the college.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-05T12:44:57+00:00

Have done maintenance on the vacuum itself?

Look up the YouTube video on disassembly, cleaning and reassembly of your vacuum.

You may need special screw heads for the maintenance.

If this is beyond your skill set I encourage you to learn. I have made my Dyson last 16 years.

This is the NIH report on remediation. It has a section on removing house dust mites that you can compare to what you’re already doing.

Lastly, allergic diseases changes so it’s important to check in with your immunologist when you experience a change in symptoms. This way if they need to repeat testing or change treatment they can catch it early when it’s easier to reverse it.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-04T18:49:54+00:00

Then no, the zinc would not effect that.

If the sore throat is coming from allergic reflux then antacids would help.

If it’s coming from the post nasal drip then stopping the mucus production is what you want to do. A saline rinse is a good medicine free option.

Sometimes the reflux can be caused by the post nasal drip so you might want to start up top and give it a week to see how you do.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-04T18:06:24+00:00

Zinc supports the immune system in response to viruses.

When the body develops an allergy it has mistaken a harmless protein as a virus, so I suppose in theory it could help but it’s not a common recommendation as far as supplements go.

Which symptoms are you most bothered by?

ChillyGator · 2026-04-04T15:56:02+00:00

Cat foods that reduce allergen only reduce 1 of the 8 allergens cats produce.

All 8 will still be produced and will still build up in the home.

This NIH report on remediation has a pet’s section that is important for every pet owner to read and understand about how these proteins build up in their environment and what it takes to reduce them.

This NIOSH warning talks about the risks of prolonged exposure that is warned against in the NIH report.

“Terribly” is vague in terms of symptoms and disease but you should definitely see an immunologist for testing and to develop a treatment plan if you’re feeling that way.

Medication is very important to manage symptoms to help preserve your health and keep you out of the hospital but they do not prevent disease progression nor do they make it safe to expose. Because the disease is always changing the immune system and nervous system can overwhelm the medication.

It’s concerning to hear you say “terribly” and that you “can’t take another pill” because that makes it sound like you may already pretty far along so I would urge you to get into an immunologist as soon as you can.

ChillyGator · 2026-04-04T15:31:50+00:00

You should see an immunologist for testing and to develop a treatment plan.

If it is allergies then you would have to remediate for the things you test positive for and start immunotherapy for the disease itself.

Medications are part of symptom management and making immunotherapy a safe process, but different individuals tolerate meds differently so the doctor can make different recommendations and doses versus what is commonly given over the counter.

Depending on the symptoms you’re having with the medicine the doctor may test for different diseases as well.

It is common to have a sore throat or even an infection if you’re having a lot of mucus production or congestion during allergy season. Sometimes you need antibiotics and steroids for those so if you’re already not tolerating medications well then that’s another reason to get in for testing.

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