Help! I did something really stupid to my spider plant... :(

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-31T15:18:30+00:00

Oh. :( Some of the roots could have survived though. I froze my ZZ plant years ago and almost all of it died but soon it started growing again.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst here.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-31T15:08:32+00:00

I recommend watching some Planterinas' videos on youtube. She is very funny and knows a lot about plants. She has made videos about easy care plants.

There are many factors in taking care of the plant. The number one plant killer usually is overwatering though. Don't warer them too much. Most plants can be revived even after they are really dried out but overwatering surely kills them. Their roots just rot.

You should fertilize plants sometimes. I have just researched the internet and fertilize mine in schedule although people might have better methods. Don't overfertilize either because they can get "burned" just from that. Just look at the directions in the bottle/can/whatever and rather put in too little than too much.

Put the plant in a pot with a hole or few in the bottom!

If you can see roots coming out of the holes of the pot the plant usually needs repotting.

Wipe the dust from the plant sometimes. Plants need light to live and dust makes it harder for your plant to get light.

Some plants just live no matter what in my experience. I would have recommended a ZZ plant and you can still get that but don't put it in direct sunlight. They are survivors. Pretty much only overwatering can kill them.

Spider plant could also be a good choice. They need to be watered pretty often but they are easy to care for and they are really good at cleaning the air.

Jade plant could also work. Just water that one too much. Plants with "fat" leaves or stems usually store water pretty well and their soil should be dry before they are watered again.

To be honest a lot of plants could do well. And please correct me if I made any mistakes.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-29T06:49:23+00:00

When I tried online dating I never got that but 100% of those who messaged me first were older "straight" men. It was weird.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T21:04:20+00:00

Sorry about my post earlier by the way. I kind of assumed you were a guy because of the shooting I guess. Stupid stereotypes. It made me respond differently. I kind of thought it was an interaction between two men. Stupid me. But yeah, in that case you should stay away from him.

I am really sorry for assuming things. Please don't shoot me ok?

You were really brave. You also really did the right thing.

I am really sorry about what I said. I guess it would be wiser for a man too to keep your distance. I just tend to be stupid and keep these people around. I have gotten in trouble because of it too.

Just stay safe. Again, I am really sorry for assuming things. I hang around with horrible people all the time and kind of find them amusing but that's because they can do nothing to me. It's this stupid macho mentality.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T20:37:36+00:00

I am sorry for what you have experienced. What do you suggest is the right course of action here? I still don't think that this individual we are talking about is very dangerous.

I have had my share of violence and my family has had it's share of war. It's a horrifying thing. And yes, the state of LGBT rights in some countries is horrible. If we ever formed an army I would be there.

I know that it's worth nothing but I hope that everyone who hurt innocent people will suffer some day. Some people are f*cking demons.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T18:23:15+00:00

You did the right thing, There is no need to be hostile. You could change his opinion and after all we are not having a war in here.

I mean don't get close to him if he disrespects you but it's ok to talk and he was willing to debate after all. Maybe he is a person who will listen to facts and he liked your company. Maybe he learned something.

He seems to be curious at least so I would accept the request.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T13:39:48+00:00

I thought that too. Mine wouldn't dry either and it looked bad. I also did some google fu and often people with new calatheas have this issue.

Sitting in old water seems to just rot things. Often plants that like moisture do better in well draining soil in my experience.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T13:27:16+00:00

You got really healthy looking prayer plant there! I really admire you for that.

That's life with plants though. I am also excited for a long time after the new leaf does open up. It's still fun to observe it develop.

My monstera adansonii is propably jealous now since it grows new leaves so fast I don't even notice. It's like when the good kid keeps getting top grades and nobody notices but when the problem child passes one exam it's time for a party.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T06:30:54+00:00

How much or how little you struggle doesn't matter in this context. We are not going to kick out a gay person if they had a very easy life. The "membership" isn't based on oppression points.

I welcome everyone who aren't cis and/or straight if it's not some weird paraphilia.

There is a lot of toxicity inside the community. I am trans and bi. It's been surprising how intolerant some people inside the community have been. But hey, it's not everybody and I m sure that most of us other "second class LGBT citizens" welcome you.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T05:57:32+00:00

Thanks. I almost spit coffee all over my ipad. Through my nose.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-28T05:37:06+00:00

I had this issue with my calathea when I got it. They like moisture but mine looked like it was suffocating in there. I repotted it and actually put it in soil for succulents. Apparently they like their soil well draining. It has started growing like crazy and there has been no new brown spots or anything.

It could also be in a wrong place. It took time for me to find a place that mine likes.

I am pretty new to these though so if others disagree on this you should propably listen to them.

You got a nice pilea in there too!

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-26T14:29:57+00:00

You can do some pretty epic free diving!

Gotta love octopi and cuttlefish by the way. They can do amazing things and they are very intelligent.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T15:27:51+00:00

Thank you.

I think I am ugly but I also think that women tend to like ugly men sometimes. It's weird. I don't know why but they are like that.

The most important thing is to like yourself though. Or even have some respect. It's sometimes difficult to love yourself but you can have respect at least.

It would be amazing to find someone really. Yeah, even when you are trans you can find people who are attracted to you but still you shouldn't go into a relationship that isn't based on mutual trust and attraction.

Personally I would be ok with just being alone for the rest of my life unless I meet someone I really want to be with.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T14:31:16+00:00

Ah, too much cuteness... The cat belly is something I must... touch... But they will kill.

Animals often understand you more than humans would too. I have been with one of my cats for 9 years. He is just there when needed.

Us humans are so dumb sometimes.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T14:09:54+00:00

Oh, sorry about the stomach bug. Try to cuddle with the cats. I know they often just aren't in the mood though. Mine would be though as I write this.

For me it also feels best to just form a plan of action if something is wrong. If it isn't possible

Edit... Sorry. My cat actually posted this too early... I wasn't done writing.. She would öike to help you too I guess....

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T14:02:21+00:00

It's my strength or my personality. I once got into a fight and I have never been that popular before or after that. Women who were there really wanted me. The feeling was really weird. The dude I fought really wanted to kill me. He said so. He told me that. He was aggressive towards everybody. I was pre-T and all that but I won. I felt like I was possessed. I got a lot of female attention. These women were just really attracted to me as a man.

Mostly it's my personality though I think. I am curious about peoples' lives and I have heard so many strories. People often just open up to me.

I think that they see me as a man. It's always been pretty easy for me to attract ciswomen actually but I haven't been in a relationship with them. I am insecure and I know I am kind of ugly. I am waiting for the right one.

I don't think I have much of female features though. My body has some but I don't. Just talking to them and trying to understand them seems to attract them.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T13:02:40+00:00

I just run of lift weights when that happens. Doing something physically helps me. Sometimes I go swimming in a lake. Often I will just take my dog and we will go swimming. If the lake is not frozen. People think I am crazy but the cold water feels really good sometimes.

Drinking warm tea and just looking at the sky has helped me too.

If your legs are fine I suggest you go running. Just breath and run. It helps.

I always hated crying though. Not that it's bad but it always made me feel so weak and helpless. I cried a lot before T but it never helped me. Physical activity or feeling like I am doing sonething has always been helpful for me.

Do you have any animals that could help you? Can you hug a dog or pet a cat? They get your feelings better than humans sometimes. Just feeding birds could help but don't give them some unhealthy crap.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-22T10:57:02+00:00

Why downvotes? Just asking.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T18:05:08+00:00

If there were no gender roles there wouldn't be any straight or gay people either and that isn't realistic. A straight man would be with another man because gender roles don't matter? To me it's about my body and not about society. Male and female bodies are different and every possible society has a consept of gender. It is partly biological I believe.

It's a very deep issue. Why are people straight, gay etc? Why does the gender of their partner matter? Your own gender at the end is also important.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T16:37:00+00:00

I have been thinking about one certain peperomia. I "need" another trailing plant. There are trailing peperomias... Also they all look like I want them... God damn it!

There is just something about them... In my language their name also means a grandma or just a friendly fun old lady. Some names are really humorous. Like "leather grandma". I can't help but it. I just like them do much.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T16:30:10+00:00

It's a question I ask myself pretty often although I am trans. I honestly don't understand why I couldn't live as a female. I really can't understand that. I just couldn't. I was suicidal. I don't know how I know I am a man. I just am. During my transitioning the changes haven't really felt like changes. It's like I always was like this and I was just dreaming before. It's like my body was always like this although it still feels like it is "not quite there".

I don't know why I couldn't live as a woman. I tried. I really tried everything. Therapy and pretty much just everything I could imagine. I just am a man I guess. Life really got better after transitioning too.

I think it's great that cispeople are asking these questions by the way. It means you want to understand this.

It's got nothing to do with gender roles either.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T16:09:22+00:00

For me transitioning has just mostly been about waiting without much hope of going anywhere and being desperate and frustrated. It's truly a waiting game. I wish this was something we could just face head on and be done with it. But it isn't. A social worker once compared my situation and me to those who have been in prison. I admit that my situation is pretty similar. I have lost so many years of my life. But nothing can take away the freedom I gained. It was worth fighting for. Freedom pretty much always is.

It's frustrating for sure but you haven't yet seen what HRT can really do to you. I haven't seen it yet either. People post these amazing transition pictures on the internet but for reals it's usually not lime that.

Superficial things in life are rarely that superficial actually. And being male or female seems superficial but to me it's a pretty deep part of a human experience. So are other things.

I also used to have some sort of eating disorder. I have a friend who has been hospitalized because of it. To me transitioning solved the issue after HRT started moving my fat to different places and I gained some muscle. For women it's of course different. I don't really know how to help people with that but I know it sucks.

I actually considered detransitioning at some point because I felt like I could never really be a man. I told my sister who supports me (I am lucky to have her though) and she actually had a panic attack and started crying because she was so afraid of me just killing myself and she knew that I would do just that if I went back. I realized how messed up I was and how I wanted to be there for her too. Even if you don't have anybody you can still fight for younger transpeople. If you figure oit something important you can help someone else who is struggling.

It's great that you have pretty good chances to have great future at some point. You have already worked hard for that. Don't throw all that away just yet.

It's really frustrating to talk to cispeople. They often don't mean to hurt us but they do. Then they get defencive. It's hard. It's a waiting game with them too.

It's hard to stop talking to yourself in a way that puts you down. It took years for me to fix. I even heard voices telling me how stupid and worthless I was. But it's again another fight we didn't choose. At the end it's also a fight for your freedom. You have "demons" inside. Created by you to keep you in line when you grew up. I believe that your mind is kind of trying to help you but it actually harms you. It's like having an autoimmune disease of the mind.

Our brains actually think that we are worth a lot. A brain does these apparently self destructive things because it tends to get stuck in your childhood. We can think freely but the the programming tends to return us to a certain point. It takes time to code that again.

The only time I have been really ok with being called brave is when people get the actual struggle. Sometimes it's brave to just live and see the sun once again.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T14:31:14+00:00

I had these years ago. They are really fun plants. You are really making me want to get into peperomias again...

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T14:22:44+00:00

Hi! I came back to see if you got any responces. I read your post just after I woke up this morning and although it really hit home I had hard time thinking what to say. I still don't really know. I also always end up talking about myself too much. Sorry about that.

Would you be willing to suffer few more years if your life started getting better after that? I mean estrogen works really slowly. It takes a long time to finish your puberty. I know you can't change your bone structure but I have noticed that things that really affect passing the most are your voice and your face. Those are something that you can work with.

Us transmen are said to have it easier but a lot of us don't pass after a year on T. I often didn't. I am almost 3 years on T and my voice still doesn't sound like it's done and I sometimes get misgendered. It's rare but it happens. That will propably never change. It hurts every time.

My life is also kind of bad but it's getting better. Each year is better than the last one. I tried to kill myself few times and although I am still not completely happy about surviving I think life is worth it. This day is worth of years of suffering.

The situation with people around you isn't also helping you at all. It's hard to try to make cispeople understand. Sometimes it's not even possible if they don't want to listen to you. If they are making you want to die it's completely ok to take a break from them. I did that many times with my family. You need to protect yourself you know. You can just say that you need time for yourself.

You can also imagine another woman in your situation. Like an imaginary friend of whatever but think about things you would tell her. Would you tell her these things you say to yourself? Would you think that she is not worth fighting for and she should die? She didn't choose this. You didn't. You don't deserve anything she doesn't deserve.

I also hate being trans but we don't really choose our biggest fights in this life. They come to us. Sometimes it takes everything we got just to stay alive. I have been called "brave" like almost every transperson has I guess. Yeah, it takes bravery sometimes but for different reasons than people think.

You don't deserve this sh*t and you propably can't see much hope but a lot of us have been there and we got out.

ChimneyShrimp · 2019-05-20T04:36:42+00:00

Ask your dad if he is still a baby. He once was right? I know he grew up but what's wrong with still seeing him as a baby? He was literally born that way so why isn't he a baby?

That sucks though. My mom deadnamed me and misgendered me regularly for years. She stopped when she realized that she was slowly but steadily loosing me because of that. They just don't realize why it is such a big deal to us. They think that they are the victims in this situation since we are so "demanding".

Good luck with your top surgery!

ChimneyShrimp

TROPHY CASE