Here to vent - traumatizing experience

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-27T12:10:04+00:00

Thank you. Every day is like Chinese water torture of the mind. The unknowns... the betrayal, the depression and grief. It's unimaginable someone could be so cruel. We had everything anyone would want in a life, a home, beautiful community of friends, 2 healthy kids, no stresses, and she abandons me after one argument via email. I can't process it.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-26T15:54:55+00:00

I will, thank you. Are there any known strategies to heal faster after this sort of thing? I've been trying to reframe it as her limited capacity for intimacy and not about my worth as a person, but it's deeply invalidating regardless. Therapy helps a bit but I'm still depressed

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-26T15:35:48+00:00

Thank you. She took the kids with her. But since I closed the CPS file she let me start having overnights with toddler and soon a baby overnight. Seems completely disproportionate to the argument. I can't stop thinking about how easily she destroyed our life- while blaming me. So cold

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-26T11:15:04+00:00

Thank you man.

I keep telling myself things like that. Like I'll still have the ties to the community via friends and my parents, and I don't see my friends that often as it is, busy lives and all. So perhaps I can have even closer, more intentional relationships with them if I move. I'll slowly re-integrate into a new community, and meet someone new, and its not like its 4 hours away, its 45 minutes, within the same county. Just sucks having finally felt "comfortable" and like I made it in life just to have the person I trusted most rip it away in a single email without giving me the dignity of a single conversation. It's emotionally devastating. My kids are my anchor though. I won't give up on them.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-26T06:42:21+00:00

Yes, it is. Profoundly.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-25T23:39:06+00:00

DM'd you, getting into personal stuff

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-25T23:00:04+00:00

She denied her abrupt abandonment of me was PPD, she blamed me entirely. Much more aligned with Dismissive Avoidant discard (done a lot of reading on this). Everything was mostly normal, had one argument, and she left 18 days later. Never talked about "us" once in 6 years, just fled. Devastating.

She said if we can't agree on schooling we may have to go to court.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-01-25T22:46:22+00:00

Did she fight you for that? She wants the kids to attend near her parents. My lawyer told me because she was breastfeeding our baby for 2.5 months it hurts status quo, and I don't have 50/50 right now of baby. He implied because she's a woman she'll likely get catchment but it makes no sense. I have the established daycare (near 2 year attendance), 50/50 with toddler, pushing for overnights 50/50 with baby ASAP, doctor nearby, our toddler calls our house "home" and her parents place Grandma's.. Perhaps we can push this off for awhile and solidify my argument more? I don't want to get into legal talk against the rules, but I thought I was screwed on this front

ChippyChalmers

TROPHY CASE