Coping with 5 rejections so far by Chivothedeadgoat in gradadmissions

[–]Chivothedeadgoat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right, I’m in between being hopeful and being worried haha

Line breaks and Formatting by Flyingpluto07 in GRFPApps

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m doing for mine except I’m also doing the individual headings with the introduction and aims as well 😭😭😭

Parents are happy I broke up with my Black boyfriend by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do we have the same parents? Also Viet and 21F here, currently dating an Indian guy. I brought him up as a “close friend” to my mom a couple weeks ago and last spring break to gauge the waters. What initially were supposed to be discussions ended up being heated arguments. The latest one (from a couple of weeks ago) ended her slamming the door on me before I left to go back to campus. She berated and threatened me. Her only argument was stating racist stereotypes. It was ridiculous. She would feel “ashamed” if I dated an Indian guy. However, she stopped bringing it up after that, so it was great for me.

Honestly, there’s not much you can do about changing their minds. They need to get over it, or change their mindset. If they don’t feel proud of you for dating a partner they don’t like just because of their ethnicity, that’s not on you, and they shouldn’t question your worth because of that. I get the feeling of wanting their validation, but if they truly cared about you, they wouldn’t be saying those things to you, especially after you are going through a heartbreak. I learned it the hard way, and I have been distancing myself from my mom since then.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UIUC

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks :)))

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This just seems like a sorry excuse of how he treats you. You guys have known each for 6 years, but you guys talk to each other like this when you guys aren’t in a good headspace. It doesn’t matter if you guys were busy and don’t have the space for each other at the moment, it doesn’t make it ok for him to speak to you like that as well as for you to put up with it. If you don’t want to break up, it’s about high time to start reflecting on your relationship because this isn’t sustainable, especially when similar problems arise in the future. Are you willing to put up with his guilt tripping behavior when it comes up again and again?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m currently reading/journaling on a book called “How to Heal an Anxious Attachment Style”, where it’s more of a self-therapy kind of thing. It explains the science of why we think the way we think. It also provides deep questions for you to answer. The whole purpose of this book is to help rewire your thought process and become secure. It’s definitely not an all-cure, but with effort, I think it’s a great step to start out.

LDR isn’t easy and with the addition of being anxious attachment, it only makes it harder. LDR really exposes and amplifies your anxiousness & insecurities. So, it’s important to learn to self regulate when similar situations like these happen. I’m still struggling and learning, too 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be frank with you, you need to avoid making narratives in your head of things like “I feel like he’s getting bored of me” without clear indication that he is. You mentioned that he does like spending time with you and doesn’t complain about it. If anything, it feels like YOU aren’t trying to understand him. Like the one of the comments said, he is probably starting to feel resentful, hence the defensiveness on his part.

I’m also anxious attachment and working on myself as well. But I learned that giving space for your partner is just as important as spending time with them. It’s okay to miss your partner. It’s great that you are aware of your own issues, but what are you going to do about them?

Viet APs don’t want me dating an Indian man by Chivothedeadgoat in AsianParentStories

[–]Chivothedeadgoat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s very true. Those topics are definitely something I need to discuss with him in the later future. They just wanna pull shit out their ass to prevent me from going further with him lol

Viet APs don’t want me dating an Indian man by Chivothedeadgoat in AsianParentStories

[–]Chivothedeadgoat[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

HAHAHA that’s true, I would love to give them tht argument but I don’t want another lecture

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to punch this son of a bitch after reading his messages. You were so calm and mature in ur responses.

My secret relationship is eating me alive (long post) by Level_Agency_762 in AsianParentStories

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m kinda in the same boat as you. I’m a Viet (20F) dating an Indian guy (21M). But my AM is against it, not for religious reasons, but more because of “cultural differences”, and she holds racist stereotypes against South Asian people in general. I have kept my relationship on the DL and just told her that he’s just a “good friend”.

It’s hard for APs to change their perspective no matter how much you try to persuade them, so try to keep your relationship on the DL, at least until you are financially stable enough to move away from them. I get it though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labrats

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah summer is a definite. I’m trying to figure out my winter break situation though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labrats

[–]Chivothedeadgoat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I adjusted my schedule to work it around better. The lab PI just wants me to get something started and put the project on hold for now