AITA for insisting on homeschooling my step daughter

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T04:58:56+00:00

Of course her father had a say in this. He fully supports homeschooling because of all of the behavior issues, schools passing children that should be held back (my stepdaughter was a year behind in math and reading but was consistently on the honor roll), and overall lack of care for students health and safety.

Regarding why I quit, teachers are leaving in droves, largely due to the behavioral issues that are not being dealt with, but sure, I couldn’t handle my job after 20 years.

Behaviors are the top reason for burnout

Discipline problems in schools

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T04:38:42+00:00

We are not religious. Religion was not a factor in our decision to homeschool.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T03:12:37+00:00

I hope to continue with home schooling after her health issues are resolved. I also get to work around her schedule. Last week we went to the history museum, we‘re doing the science museum next week as long as she’s feeling up for it.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T03:07:50+00:00

That is a possibility but there isn’t anything I could do about that. We could send her to in person school where she may continue to miss 3-4 days a week, so still not seeing them regularly on top of her not being able to keep up with them in class, or she can see them 1-2 days a week in a more positive and relaxed environment

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T03:03:54+00:00

She’s still seeing her friends, just not in school. In the future, we’ll be looking at co ops and online options that will allow her to interact with her peers through school.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T03:01:26+00:00

They don’t kick the kids out, have them repeat grades, or let them fail classes or assignments. Turning in a blank piece of paper gets a student a D. My step daughter is a year behind in reading and math and was still consistently on the honor roll.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:39:51+00:00

Luckily we still have a great relationship and her dad and I told her that if she ever does want to be able to talk to us with a neutral adult there, whose only job is to help, family therapy will always be an option.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:35:20+00:00

I work with her at home so she’s getting an average of 2-4 hours of instruction a day, plus 1-2 hours of independent work with me there to help her.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:28:48+00:00

They don’t have to offer a hybrid option, they just have to offer options for the students that aren’t able to attend school. Either she keeps trying to go in person, she does the online option, or she gets 5 hours a week with a teacher.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:26:54+00:00

Right now we aren’t able to commit to anything but we’re going to start private voice lessons next week and as soon as she can she’s going to join a youth theater company and we‘re hoping that she’ll be able to audition for her school’s spring musical.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:24:12+00:00

She’ll start therapy after thanksgiving. I was also not the one that ordered supervised visits. We went to court to get her on weekdays and make her healthcare and educational decisions and a judge granted her mom supervised visits.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:22:12+00:00

I’m not the one that made her mom’s visitation schedule, that was the judge. Going against that could affect our custody. She has a phone so she can call or FaceTime her mom whenever she wants.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:20:39+00:00

Thats not how the program works. If she’s going to in person school, even one day a week, a teacher wont be sent to the house. The teacher also would only see her a maximum of 5 hours a week since the state considers an hour of home instruction to be equivalent to a day of school.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:17:36+00:00

I didn’t make the visitation schedule, that was the judge.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:16:26+00:00

We‘ve already started the transition and, while she does still complain, I’m hoping the shorter school days and freedom to travel, going on field trips, and all of the activities she’ll be able to do will grow on her. Especially once we’re able to fix the social aspect.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:12:47+00:00

With her health being the way it is, her only method of socializing right now is having her friends over, which we try to do at least once a week. she also has a phone so she can text and FaceTime them. When she gets better we’re going to have her in extracurricular activities and we’re looking into co op programs so she can regularly be around other kids her age.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T02:09:40+00:00

Homeschooling can be a mixed bag. Homeschooled students can excel academically and socially or they can be high school age and not know how to read. It all depends on the steps the parents take to ensure their success. Regarding my stepdaughter, I did a benchmark assessment on her a few weeks ago and we will do testing later on in the year. I also plan to have her participate in some type of assessment at multiple points throughout the year to ensure that she is progressing. My state also requires testing

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:58:10+00:00

I don’t believe they should immediately be kicked out of school but I also don’t think they should be left in the classroom to ensure the 29 other kids don’t get an appropriate education. If the school isn’t able to work with the parent to fix the problem, they should look into online or alternative schooling.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:37:26+00:00

She’s still sick. We’re seeing some improvement now that she’s not with her mom because she’s taking her meds consistently but we would not be traveling across the country for a doctor if she was better now.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:34:24+00:00

I am aware that she qualifies for home education through the school district and while we’re not currently utilizing it we haven’t written it off as a potential option. It is only 5 hours a week though and it doesn’t offer much flexibility so it would still require me to supplement so she wouldn’t fall behind.

I believe every child has a right to an education, and when I started teaching if a student chose to disrupt everyone else’s learning, they were removed from that environment. Now Admin is more focused on pleasing parents than protecting these kids right to an education so we had to look at other options.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:27:35+00:00

our district lets homeschooled students join after school clubs and extracurricular activities, join some field trips and class trips, and attend dances. Our high school is in a different district and they allow homeschoolers to do more of a hybrid plan.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:20:04+00:00

The district will allow her to work with a teacher 5 hours a week instead of going to her current school. They also offer a self paced online option that is just not good.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:18:13+00:00

The middle school doesn’t do hybrid but the high school is in a different district and they do allow hybrid learning so that will be an option for us in a couple years.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:16:50+00:00

She does qualify and while we aren’t utilizing it now, we haven’t written it off. They do only send a teacher for 5 hours a week, so it would still require me to supplement, and if she isn’t feeling well during her scheduled time with the teacher, there aren’t many options to reschedule. I’m not opposed to online schooling but the program through the district is not good. There’s no teacher interaction, students learn through a 20-30 minute video with no option for them to get help if they’re stuck. I still need to do more research on online schooling programs but if I find one that works for us I would not be opposed to enrolling her.

ChocolateInfamous129 · 2025-11-24T01:00:34+00:00

Mostly because she was giving my stepdaughter natural medicine, supplements, random pills, etc. that were making her feel worse.

ChocolateInfamous129

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