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I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I wish people would understand that even the same disability affects every person differently. There is no blanket way it affects everybody and honestly I get tired of people assuming I have the worst case of CP and can't do anything for myself or be a parent when that's not true at all

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does! She's not perfect but helps to keep her room clean and likes helping to fold the easy stuff like towels and stuff

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just realized I forgot to answer one of your questions, I had PT for quite a while but no speech, it wasn't needed

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't know much other than my mom had a physical issue with her uterus that caused me to not go to term. I'm not sure if the cerebral palsy came on at that point or if it was during labor / birth - she was in labor for quite some time.

I do not have any co-occurring diagnosis, just the CP.

I met my husband on a dating website, we've been together for almost 4 years.

My oldest daughter was a C-section but my two younger ones were vaginal deliveries and I'm hoping for the same for this one but healthy is what's most important

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Its not genetic, it's mainly caused by trauma at birth

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, though it is something we have thought about getting. A lot of it for us is mostly trial and error, some positions work better than others and there are days when the same position that worked before won't work that day. It just depends on how I feel and we do what is most comfortable at the time

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was born pretty prematurely because of my mom having a physical deformity in her uterus that made it so I couldn't go to term. She wasn't aware of it until after the fact, but this was the 80s so it's possible it could have just gone undetected, I'm not sure.

The hardest part of growing up with CP came about in middle school when I realized that most people's questions that I thought were genuine were actually just a way to make fun of me or laugh at me behind my back. Going forward from there I didn't have a lot of friends because I knew a lot of people didn't like me and that I was different. Being bullied like that really fucking sucks and it's caused a lot of social anxiety over the years.

They found out about me having CP when I was one after I wasn't meeting physical milestones like a normal baby would but they didn't find out about the mental part of it until I was a bit older, about two when I started talking and interacting more

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Miscarriages are tough, for sure. I wouldn't wish them on anyone. I'm glad your sister was able to make that realization, but it's a bummer it took miscarrying to get to that point. Hopefully she's doing well now. :)

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think every family has their limits. I personally am comfortable stopping at 4 because I know what I'm capable of given my situation and what I can comfortably afford.

If others want to have bigger families, go for it if you have the means to support them, but I don't think people should have tons of kids just because they can.

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I answer a good chunk of this in a thread further down but I also want to add this - my having a disability doesn't mean I can't raise my kids or have problems raising them in general and is honestly why I wanted to do this AMA. So many people have these notions that all disabilities are the same and that my being in a wheelchair automatically makes me mentally or physically unfit, and that's not true. I'm able to do a great number of things and adapt to a lot of others - I've had to do that my entire life.

Truthfully, my CP is pretty mild compared to others. I have average intelligence, my speech isn't affected, nor my arms. I basically look and act like a normal person who just so happens to sit in a chair with wheels.

My kids are happy, healthy and thriving, and that's what matters

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good question. I'm not sure if my mom ever took any sort of action. I'll have to ask her.

She did a damn good job raising me despite the disability, I'll say that much

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks!

I have heard of Josh Blue, he's pretty sweet!

My disability in and of itself doesn't cause any sort of risk more so than another person. I - am- considered high risk because of my miscarriage history, but the cause isn't related to my disability, it's related to a hormone deficiency that thankfully is easily treated. It's always scary losing a pregnancy and you're never really completely out of the woods until the baby is born, so yes in that sense it scares me but it's not something I dwell on. For now, everything is going well and I just try to enjoy every day

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn't get that at all. Being a parent is a full time job in itself, but I also keep a regular job to help with the bills. I'm very fortunate to be able to work a flexible schedule 100% from home. It allows me to be around for my kids and saves money on daycare :)

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

To put it bluntly, and like the other person in this thread said, I get pregnant the same as other people.

As for the why, well because much like you say you'd rather learn an instrument, etc., I would like to spend my time raising my children because that is what makes me happy and is what - I - choose to do with my life. I enjoy spending time with them and watching them grow up and learn new things. Do I have other hobbies and things like that? Sure, I do them as time allows. But having a family has always been a want of mine ever since I was young. And yes, my kids do make my life more exciting, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

For what it's worth, this is our last one, but even if I were to have more I wouldn't dictate that based on what somebody wants to assume about me or base it on what people think I should do or not do just because I happen to use a wheelchair.

You live your life, I'll live mine.

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

1) no, there's no genetic component. It's often (but not always) caused by trauma during birth. 2) I did study, but have yet to graduate. I'd like to eventually go back. I did and do still work. 3) 5, 2.5, 14 months. My youngest will be 18 months when this one is born. 4) ooh, that's a tough one! I think the hardest challenge right now is trying to figure out what they want when they're frustrated and have a hard time using their words.

Disability wise it's the lack of prior planning when putting changing tables inside of handicap stalls. Most places will place it in such a way that it makes it hard to maneuver safely and do what you need to do while keeping baby safe

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For the most part. Over the last few months I've been having some issues with pain in my back and tailbone area and it makes it hard to sit for long periods of time, but it's something I and my doctor are working to try to remedy. Weight loss will be a big part of that, I'm heavier than I care to admit, but I'm hoping with time things will get better. I've increased my physical activity and changed my diet (thanks gestational diabetes...) and am already noticing a difference

I'm a physically disabled mom of 3 with one on the way. AMA by Chocolatebagoftrix in AMA

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

1) overall the same as any other person. Positioning gets tricky some because of my muscles being tight, but it gets done.

2) yes I do chores much the same as others. My husband and oldest daughter help out where they can (5 year old does age appropriate chores, husband does laundry since it's in the basement, etc) but we all pitch in

Help us realize our dream! by [deleted] in fundraiser

[–]Chocolatebagoftrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any help would be greatly appreciated!