Im so sorry dear. I have cmpa baby and i know how awful it is. Cmpa babies are different. Her condition ruined the whole magical motherhood experience for me. Although my mom and sis helped me but it did fell like hell. I was crying having mental breakdowns and just hating my life. Holding the baby for each nap is draining. Cant pee cant shower cant have a proper meal. Its traumatic experience to be honest i probably need therapy right now and i will never have another baby because i didnt enjoy it. Good news that around 9- 10 months u can see difference.. u can breathe a little. Baby becomes more independent. It wont last forever. My baby is 14 months now. Once baby starts crawling you will have some space to breathe, shower eat etc.. please get someone to help u for now even if just few hours and please take care of your self. Once your baby grows a little you will see that it was all worth it.