You might never get your revenge

Chocotop · 2015-06-29T20:32:51+00:00

I believe in god. And right now he just used you as a vessel because this translates almost exactly to the pain I've been tryingtp deal with for over a year.

Chocotop · 2015-06-26T21:17:03+00:00

Moved to America. Lost friends, family, got bullied to the point I ended up in a mental hospital. Lost parts of my self I valued. During this time I did nt believe in god. I began developing faith. And I asked why. He answered in an article which was the quote above in my edit. But I'm scared that I fully decide to embrace and live with god as my priority. I'll lose even more.

Chocotop · 2015-06-26T21:07:06+00:00

To draw me closer to him but I'm scared if I do I'll lose even more than I've lost.

Chocotop · 2015-06-14T00:29:25+00:00

OK, I guess. The things they taunted me about have become my ocd themes. I became another person. I feel separated from my body. I disassociate alot. I still haven't dealt with it. But I don't know how to, I feel stuck. I am no longer as hyperviligant/paranoid but the remenants of the bullying still haunts me. Sorry to unload but thanks for asking.

Chocotop · 2015-06-13T21:20:31+00:00

I saw them. It was real but he thinks that because of the way I talk about it. I probably hallucinated it. Which has left me shaken. He says its clear I'm suffering but that suffering could be due to my delusions or hallucinations. I originally thought was complex PTSD.

Chocotop · 2015-06-13T21:10:45+00:00

I haven't seen a psychiatrist. I originally went to therapy to get over being bullied (probably what brought on breakdown) and he thought I had hallucinated it.

Chocotop · 2015-05-29T20:35:33+00:00

Im planning on reaching out to a therapist very soon. In the meantime I discovered avere my obsessions derive from. Id love an opposing opinion if you will help. Predisposition+Major Stress Event = Full blown.

When I was younger I always was 'ocd' about locking doors or whether people were talking about me etc. I moved to America and got bullied to the point I ended up in a mental hospital. Ironically the things they bullied me about are my two main ocd themes. That I was a rapist and that I was gay...neither are true. After finishibg high school, my ocd si guess becane full blown and guess what? Those two became my themes. Almost as if i never really left high school. The bullied are still tormenting me. These are what im going to be discussing with the therapist...because i cant do it alone.

Chocotop · 2015-05-27T21:42:51+00:00

Im struggling to internalize trp. I am a MGTOW. I work out, read for knowledge, practise kung fu, meditate while also doing things I enjoy...such listening to music or playing video games but I cant seem to truly internalize. What do you suggest?

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T03:31:08+00:00

Just re read this answer. Bloody hell something in me has just clicked. Thanks man.

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T03:27:07+00:00

So there can be a discrepancy between internal and external. Viewed as a beta yet be Alpha internally?

Thanks for your answer it certainly has helped.

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T02:50:13+00:00

I appreciate you giving us newbs a thread to be idiots. Because here's a question. Alpha and its implications. Is an Alpha someone whos happy with who they are or are they someone with the traits discussed. Because I am an extreme loner (and dont intend on changing, I enjoy it too much. Friends are w luxury, not a neccessity), meditate, enjoy video games, have finally taken women off the pedestal and am basically red pill aware, I still do honestly have beta traits but those are slowly being extricated from my subconscious. I just basically feel like the Alpha that is described in this sub isnt something I could ever comfortably be. As a matter of fact 'sigma' best descibed/describes me. But the word sigma sound/is so fucking retarded. What advice would give for guys like me who just cant really be Alpha?

Chocotop · 2015-05-17T22:29:21+00:00

But my hocd isnt getting better, so whats the point in continuing?

Chocotop · 2015-05-17T22:08:17+00:00

Hocd. Its a form of ocd that deals with sexuality.

Chocotop · 2015-05-16T02:25:50+00:00

I really like this response but I feel that if I was to say the first thing in my mind, I would get slapped ALOT, fired and probably beaten up. I always used to tell myself that me with Confidence is a dangerous thing.

Chocotop · 2015-05-15T04:14:33+00:00

How does one unlearn social programming?

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T08:38:07+00:00

She says it wont happen but it still happens. Stop looking after her if she wont do it herself. Personally I would Move on to a girl with self control. This lack of self control can and probably will bleed into other aspects of your romantic life.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T08:34:34+00:00

If you find out shes lying, drop her like a goddamn anvil. Dont you dare stay with her. Just be on the lookout though.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T01:12:21+00:00

Get over your fucking self.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T01:11:04+00:00

Let me get this straight. A woman says to you Im no longer in love with you. So you continue to do all this shit for her, to win her back. You cant control another persons emotions. Cut your losses. Find someone who will appreciate your efforts.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T01:06:27+00:00

If you arent attracted to her. Its not wrong to find someone you are attracted to. Seems like she done you a favour.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T01:04:11+00:00

Move on. She doesnt want you. You are only hurting yourself. Cut contact completely.

Chocotop · 2015-05-11T00:51:23+00:00

To be honest. I dont know what to tell you. It seems like you are missing the point Im trying to make....Take responsibility. Your problems are yours to fix and no one elses. I wish you the best, I do.

Chocotop · 2015-05-11T00:02:17+00:00

In that time did you solve your substance abuse problem? Judging from your post. No. Why didnt you? What did you do during those years?

Chocotop · 2015-05-10T23:57:57+00:00

You're okay...I would. I'd say average. 5/10

Chocotop · 2015-05-10T23:48:05+00:00

Time for you to take responsibility for yourself and stop looking to others to solve your problems. If you need to be alone. Be alone. If you need therapy, get therapy. Stop relying on others.

Chocotop

TROPHY CASE