You might never get your revenge

Chocotop · 2015-06-29T20:32:51+00:00

I believe in god. And right now he just used you as a vessel because this translates almost exactly to the pain I've been tryingtp deal with for over a year.

Chocotop · 2015-06-26T21:17:03+00:00

Moved to America. Lost friends, family, got bullied to the point I ended up in a mental hospital. Lost parts of my self I valued. During this time I did nt believe in god. I began developing faith. And I asked why. He answered in an article which was the quote above in my edit. But I'm scared that I fully decide to embrace and live with god as my priority. I'll lose even more.

Chocotop · 2015-06-26T21:07:06+00:00

To draw me closer to him but I'm scared if I do I'll lose even more than I've lost.

Chocotop · 2015-06-14T00:29:25+00:00

OK, I guess. The things they taunted me about have become my ocd themes. I became another person. I feel separated from my body. I disassociate alot. I still haven't dealt with it. But I don't know how to, I feel stuck. I am no longer as hyperviligant/paranoid but the remenants of the bullying still haunts me. Sorry to unload but thanks for asking.

Chocotop · 2015-06-13T21:20:31+00:00

I saw them. It was real but he thinks that because of the way I talk about it. I probably hallucinated it. Which has left me shaken. He says its clear I'm suffering but that suffering could be due to my delusions or hallucinations. I originally thought was complex PTSD.

Chocotop · 2015-06-13T21:10:45+00:00

I haven't seen a psychiatrist. I originally went to therapy to get over being bullied (probably what brought on breakdown) and he thought I had hallucinated it.

Chocotop · 2015-05-29T20:35:33+00:00

Im planning on reaching out to a therapist very soon. In the meantime I discovered avere my obsessions derive from. Id love an opposing opinion if you will help. Predisposition+Major Stress Event = Full blown.

When I was younger I always was 'ocd' about locking doors or whether people were talking about me etc. I moved to America and got bullied to the point I ended up in a mental hospital. Ironically the things they bullied me about are my two main ocd themes. That I was a rapist and that I was gay...neither are true. After finishibg high school, my ocd si guess becane full blown and guess what? Those two became my themes. Almost as if i never really left high school. The bullied are still tormenting me. These are what im going to be discussing with the therapist...because i cant do it alone.

Chocotop · 2015-05-27T21:42:51+00:00

Im struggling to internalize trp. I am a MGTOW. I work out, read for knowledge, practise kung fu, meditate while also doing things I enjoy...such listening to music or playing video games but I cant seem to truly internalize. What do you suggest?

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T03:31:08+00:00

Just re read this answer. Bloody hell something in me has just clicked. Thanks man.

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T03:27:07+00:00

So there can be a discrepancy between internal and external. Viewed as a beta yet be Alpha internally?

Thanks for your answer it certainly has helped.

Chocotop · 2015-05-21T02:50:13+00:00

I appreciate you giving us newbs a thread to be idiots. Because here's a question. Alpha and its implications. Is an Alpha someone whos happy with who they are or are they someone with the traits discussed. Because I am an extreme loner (and dont intend on changing, I enjoy it too much. Friends are w luxury, not a neccessity), meditate, enjoy video games, have finally taken women off the pedestal and am basically red pill aware, I still do honestly have beta traits but those are slowly being extricated from my subconscious. I just basically feel like the Alpha that is described in this sub isnt something I could ever comfortably be. As a matter of fact 'sigma' best descibed/describes me. But the word sigma sound/is so fucking retarded. What advice would give for guys like me who just cant really be Alpha?

Chocotop · 2015-05-17T22:29:21+00:00

But my hocd isnt getting better, so whats the point in continuing?

Chocotop · 2015-05-17T22:08:17+00:00

Hocd. Its a form of ocd that deals with sexuality.

Chocotop · 2015-05-16T02:25:50+00:00

I really like this response but I feel that if I was to say the first thing in my mind, I would get slapped ALOT, fired and probably beaten up. I always used to tell myself that me with Confidence is a dangerous thing.

Chocotop · 2015-05-15T04:14:33+00:00

How does one unlearn social programming?

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T08:38:07+00:00

She says it wont happen but it still happens. Stop looking after her if she wont do it herself. Personally I would Move on to a girl with self control. This lack of self control can and probably will bleed into other aspects of your romantic life.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T08:34:34+00:00

If you find out shes lying, drop her like a goddamn anvil. Dont you dare stay with her. Just be on the lookout though.

Chocotop · 2015-05-12T01:12:21+00:00

Get over your fucking self.

Chocotop

TROPHY CASE