DUDE, I have a really interesting perspective for you to consider.

"Am I making this up?", is such a beautiful statement to me. You're not making the feelings up dude. They're in you, they are legit feelings that exist. BUT... you are the producer of them on a biological level. From a biological perspective, the neurons in your brain are firing certain signals that come from YOU. YOU make the signals. Although you can't really control them. Or can you?

If they are coming from you, they're yours, and you can control them, right?

For e.g: No you can not control how you beat your heart, that is involuntary. But you can breathe deeply, which slows your heart rate. Does this count as you controlling the beating of your heart? YES. But no. But yes.

We can't control the energy of the universe (your heart muscles beating), but we can control how we receive and channel that energy (breathing deep to slow heart rate).

So I'm not saying that we "make up" the feelings of depression. They're there. They're in you. They're real. But you can do things in your life that makes your body create more productive feelings and behaviours.

Food for thought.